C8 Pregnant

Lily

As I returned home, every part of my body weighed me down. My body ached and I could barely think.

The rest of the night was a blur as I stepped into the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed.

The mattress embraced me and I closed my eyes, slipping into a fitful sleep.

In the morning, I woke up with a gnawing hunger.

It was my fault for sleeping off without eating. I sighed, getting off my bed.

My bare feet padded across the cool, hardwood floor as I made my way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge for food, I stopped as I recognized a large pack. The same pack Lisa had given me yesterday.

As she had instructed I waited in the hotel lobby after work. When she'd arrived, she came with a small pack, handing it over to me.

“You can try it now or put it in the fridge for later.” she'd winked at me before bidding me goodbye.

Even in my exhausted state, I still followed her instructions.

Taking out the pack, I opened it, only to gasp.

There, nestled within the container, was steak, accompanied by a side of mashed potatoes. In another place were muffins, and a fresh salad. All the food looked good, but my eyes were fixed mostly on the perfectly cooked steak. My stomach rumbled at the sight of the sight.

Without a glance at all the other foods, I took it out, savouring each bite. The tender meat practically melted in my mouth, feeding the inexplicable craving.

It was strange, I noted. Up until a few weeks ago I was a devout vegetarian, never being tempted by meat. But now I craved it more than anything else.

It didn't matter in the end. No doubt Malina would argue that it was a long time coming.

The morning at work had started like any other. I'd just stepped into my office when a familiar sensation creeped in. The taste of bile mixed in with a queasy sensation.

I knew this routine all too well. Swallowing up the bile, I made my way to the nearest restroom.

I barely had time to reach the toilet before I doubled over, nearly falling into the bowl. My body convulsed with each retch, throwing up my breakfast.

Seconds, or maybe minutes passed—I couldn't be too sure. Time seemed to blur hunched over the toilet.

Finally, the nausea subsided, leaving me drained and disoriented. Drained, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling my hair sticking to my forehead . With trembling fingers, I reached for the flush handle.

Afterward, I moved to the sink, my reflection staring back at me from the mirrored surface. As I looked at myself in the mirror, frustration welled up within me. Why did this keep happening?

I thought it would pass after a few more weeks, especially considering that it didn't affect my life much. But now it was getting harder to manage.

I couldn't ignore this problem any more.

Something had to be done. The first chance I got I'd go to the pharmacy or any drug store on my way.

……

Stepping out of the restroom I passed by a surprisingly cloistered group of people. Female attendants gathered in a tight-knit circle, their voices filled with joy and excitement. Walking slowly I could overhear their conversation.

“So in a matter of months I'll be on my maternity leave.”

"Oh, Sarah, I can't believe you're finally pregnant! It's such wonderful news.” another lady said.

"Thank you so much, Amy. You have no idea how long we've been waiting for this.” Sarah's voice rang.

Another woman's voice popped up "How did you even find out? You don't look all that different. "

Sarah sighed "Now that you mention it, there were a few signs. I'd been having these bouts of nausea in the mornings, and I got so tired all the damn time."

I stopped in my tracks. A chill crept up my spine. I couldn't help but listen more intently.

"Oh, morning sickness can be really tough. It's no wonder you always ran to the restroom out of nowhere.” the other woman said, voice sympathetic.

"Not to mention the cravings,” she huffed,

“I really didn't notice it. It was my husband who suggested taking the pregnancy test.” her words were followed by laughter.

Nausea, fatigue, cravings —the pieces fell into place, aligning with the symptoms I had been experiencing.

Dread washed over me like an ice bath. Everything she described mirrored my own experiences over the past few weeks. I had brushed them aside, attributing them to stress or something temporary, but now…

My hands trembled as I discreetly placed a hand over my abdomen, my mind racing with fear and uncertainty. The celebration continued near me, but at that moment, I felt like I was falling.

The sounds of laughter and conversation became distant against my anxious thoughts.

How hadn't I seen the signs? The bouts of morning sickness, the cravings. They all pointed to one terrifying possibility.

With trembling hands, I pressed a palm against my abdomen. The mere thought of it sent a wave of panic coursing through my body.

‘Pregnant.’ The word echoed in my mind, filling me with dread.

How could I have been so blind?

The sounds of celebration continued to echo in the distance. The contrast between their happiness and my despair was a cruel irony.

By the time I reached my office, I was shaking. My breaths came shallow and rapid. My hands clenched into fists, my nails digging into my palms to anchor me to reality. But the reality I faced was a nightmare, a terrifying unknown that loomed before me.

Perhaps it was just a fluke. Maybe I was actually sick. I couldn't be…

A sharp sound startled me. It was a ringtone belonging to only one person.

‘Malina.’ my mind still managed to supply despite the panic.

My hands trembled, but I gathered myself, answering the call.

"Hey, Lily! How's it going?" Malina's voice burst through the line, vibrant and filled with enthusiasm.

Dread sank deeper in face of her joyful tone. A lump formed in my throat.

"Hey Malina." I said shakily

There was a pause on the other end, and I could sense her stop short.

"Babe, is there something wrong?" She asked.

I took a deep breath, my fingers trembling as I clutched the phone tighter.

‘Should I tell her?’ I swallowed thickly at the thought, but I quickly made my decision.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong at all." I said, trying to sound normal.

"Are you sure Lily? You don't sound like yourself."

I shut my eyes tightly, fighting the itch of tears. Of course, of all the people she would be able to tell.

She had been my support since college. I wanted to share my worries,this dreadful suspicion.

But I couldn't bring myself to reveal the truth, to shatter the happiness in Malina's voice with the weight of my own predicament. Instead, I chose to hide my own unease with a facade of reassurance.

"Malina, really, I appreciate your support, but I promise, I'm fine."

I could sense Malina's hesitation. She wasn't convinced one bit. In a last ditch effort, I spoke.

"I... I promise, Malina. I'm good. I just need a little time to sort things out."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and I silently prayed she would let it go.

"Okay, Lily. But promise me you'll tell me whenever you do."

Relief washed over me, and I managed a weak smile, even though Malina couldn't see it.

"I promise. Thanks."

We exchanged a few more words before ending the call, and as I hung up the phone, a wave of guilt washed over me.

Malina had supported me through all my bad times, it felt like betrayal to have kept this from her, even regarding Alexander too.

But as I gazed at the phone in my hand, I couldn't shake my fears away.

For now, I wouldn't say anything. Once I confirmed that nothing was wrong. I would tell her so we could laugh about it.

‘Right?’ I tried to muster a smile, but it fell flat.

The rest of the time at work passed listlessly, and I went through the motions without any thought. It was, perhaps, the best grace to not cross paths with Alexander for the entire day.

The moment I left, I rushed to the nearest pharmacy. My heart was pounding in my chest as I found what I was looking for, and I clutched the test tightly in my trembling hand.

By the time I returned home, the sun had already set, casting long shadows that mirrored my unease.

I wasted no time entering the bathroom and followed the instructions on the pregnancy test.

Time went by too slowly, each second feeling like an hour. I counted my steps, hoping that its agonising pace would pass faster.

‘No.' I shut my eyes tightly. I couldn't be pregnant. It had to be a fluke.

The timer went off, and I snatched up the test, my hands trembling uncontrollably. My heart sank with a single glance, and I dropped the test as if it had burned me.

The result was unmistakable—Positive.