C3 Reminiscence

Hearing her daughter's words, Shan Xingniang didn't ask anymore. Her son and daughter were both sensible, but they were dragged down by her.

"Mom, you can only eat faster if you eat more. When you get better, I'll wait for mom to cook something good for me."

Hearing her daughter's little wish, Shan Xingniang felt extremely sad.

She wanted to live for a few more days, to take care of her children for a few more days, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer, and her children wanted to make her better. She knew that the two of them were good children, and they tried to make her eat something, even if it was just porridge, it was still a trick, today's salted porridge, tomorrow's sweet porridge, today's rice porridge, tomorrow's vegetable porridge, in short, they wanted her to be able to live through it.

However, she knew that she could not hold on any longer. She truly did not want to part with them. She did not want to leave Shan Xing and the forest behind. They were still so young. Shan Xingniang looked at her obedient daughter and felt as if a knife was cutting through her heart.

Shan Xing finally finished feeding the small bowl of porridge. She placed the empty bowl on the round table and wiped her mother's face with the cloth before sitting down at the round table and starting to eat her own food. It was just a bowl of porridge.

"Shan Xing, you should be a bit slower, this little … Oh, a girl needs to look like a girl, how can she be like you, disregarding manners and making people laugh at you? "

Seeing that her mother wanted to say something, Shan Xing thought about her mother's words once again. She felt that since her mother valued her appearance so much, she definitely wasn't someone who came from a small village, so what she said just now should mean that the young miss should have the appearance of a young miss. Just before she spoke, she switched the young miss to a young girl.

"Mother, what does my father's family look like?"

After considering it over and over again, Shan Xing still asked carefully. She didn't want to wait for her mother to leave.

"Why did you think of your father?"

Seeing that her mother wasn't angry, Shan Xing continued.

"Mother, all the children in the village have a father and a mother, and my brother and I only have a mother and a mother. Mother, we only have you, really, but we have to know what kind of person my father is, and where is he now?

His body was only six years old, so even if he said something wrong, his mother wouldn't blame him.

"Shan Xing, did your brother say something?"

What did my brother say? From the looks of it, big brother knows something.

"No, it's because neither you nor my brother said anything, that's why I'm curious. If you told me about father's matter, and I knew the truth of the matter, then I wouldn't be thinking about it anymore. No matter what, this is still father, I have to know who he is, be it good or bad."

If his mother had never mentioned that his father had passed away, then it meant that he was still alive. However, his father had never come to find his lost children, so no matter how difficult his mother's life was, she had never thought of bringing him and his brother to find him.

It was unknown if it was inconvenient to search, or if his mother intentionally hid from him. According to the situation, it should be the latter, because his mother had once inadvertently said something like 'First Madam was ruthless and dared to make a move on her child'.

"Mom, how can a daughter not know who a father is? Isn't that what people call a fatherless child? I only want to know who he is, I definitely won't go back and recognize him."

"Since mom brought big brother and me here, it means that we have a reason not to go back. No matter what reason, I believe that big brother and I will live here forever, but I should know my surname. If I don't even know my surname, then it would be too pitiful."

Other than pretending to be pitiful, Shan Xing couldn't think of any other way to get ahold of her mother. However, she really didn't want to get close to any relatives. If First Madam really wanted to harm the two of them, it would be even more dangerous to go back and get married.

"Shan Xing, there are some things that you better not know. Just think of yourself as a peasant child, you and your brother have the surname Shan. Even if your mother leaves in the future, you and your brother will depend on each other for life, so don't even think about going back to recognize that family."

"That's a den of tigers and wolves. They can't let you two brothers live here, so rather than being killed and sold off, why not hide in this little mountain village? This mountain village is filled with kind people, they can always help you and your brother grow up and not freeze to death."

There was nothing more to discuss, so Shan Xing gave up. It seemed that she really couldn't go back home.

"Mom, it's fine if you don't want to say it, but I don't need to know. Since Mom said my surname is Shan, then that mountain is my surname."

When Shan Xing emphasized her surname, she saw that her mother's eyes had immediately reddened.

Mother probably didn't want her child to have a surname, but she insisted on not telling her the truth, even refusing to tell her husband's surname. It seemed that the truth might be very cruel, so cruel that Shan Xing couldn't accept it.

"Then tell me about you. Mother, what kind of people were my ancestors? How did they marry you to someone else?"

Shan Xing had purposely used the term 'maternal grandfather'. If the elders of the mother were to be called 'maternal grandmother' or 'maternal grandfather' in a small mountain village like this, they would definitely not be farmers living in the countryside.

"Your grandfather's surname is Peng …"

Sure enough, mother has no objections to being addressed as ancestor. I can only say that even if mother isn't a lady of the family, at least she is still a little girl. That would explain why a very sick person, lying in bed, would pay so much attention to appearance.

This had a lot to do with the tutoring. It was like how the mother couldn't bear to see herself eating like a country girl with a bowl. She had once been taught that she couldn't allow her daughter to be this rude.

In her eyes, even if her daughter was living in the countryside, she should be well-educated and well-disciplined. If she could move freely, Shan Xing thought, she would definitely train herself well.

Shan Xingniang pulled Shan Xing into her embrace and hugged her with all her might. However, Shan Xing felt that her exertion was better than sticking close to her own body, because her mother didn't have any strength left. Shan Xingniang was also probably getting weaker as a result of her body, so she didn't know if she would ever have the chance to chat about family matters with her daughter again.

Thus, he followed his daughter's words and told her about his parents. In her heart, she thought that his daughter was only six years old.

"Shan Xing, although your maternal grandfather's family is not a high-class family, they are still small seventh-grade heads and are not big officials. However, your maternal grandfather is a scholar, and even though his family is not very well off, he has never suffered any grievances since he was young."

Your grandfather and grandmother doted on me very much, and I have a younger brother who is two years younger than me. Although our family has suffered a lot, compared to how we are now, it's much better. I remember that year, my mother was only fourteen years old.

Memories always made the voice turn yellow. It was as if those distant memories were pictures that had been eroded by time. They were clear, yet were faintly yellow.

One day, your grandfather came to the rear of the hall and told your uncle to go meet some guests. He said that he had a respected guest and wanted to meet the family's children, but your uncle was only twelve years old and couldn't even catch a glimpse of him while he was changing his clothes.

"Your grandmother had to let me escort him to the front, and told me over and over again that if I watched my brother go into the main house, he wouldn't be allowed to come back. Otherwise, if he really ran away, your grandfather would be in big trouble, so I followed your grandmother's orders and sent your uncle to the front hall, where I personally saw him go into the main house before turning around and leaving."

Shan Xingniang thought of that scene and all her worries came surging to her heart.

"Mother would never have thought that it would be precisely because of this that Mother would be unable to make her own decisions in her entire life. On the evening of the second day, when your grandfather left for the yamen, he would have a dark face and call your grandmother into the inner chamber."

"They discussed it for a long time. When they came out again, all I saw was that your grandmother was crying and your grandfather was sighing. Finally, when your grandfather saw that your grandmother couldn't speak anymore, he came to tell me himself."

I said that the honored guest from yesterday saw me and wanted to bring me in, so I was very happy. Honored guest, that rank must have been higher than your ancestor's, so I hastily nodded my head.

When your grandfather saw that I was eager to give it a try, he could only sigh and say to me, "Daughter, you are still young and don't know how big the storm outside is. He is not someone that we can afford to offend.

"With this palanquin in hand, you will no longer have the power to stand tall and straight. Your mother and I can't bear to see you suffer. I feel worse than being stabbed in the heart. 'Over there, your grandmother heard these words and cried even harder."

Shan Xingniang gently stroked her daughter's hair. Although her hair was tied in a child's bun, she could still feel the smooth texture of her daughter's hair.

Mother cried like that, but I still didn't understand, 'Didn't you say you want to marry me? Since he's a high ranking official, then we don't have to worry about anything anymore, and once I marry him, father and brother will be able to borrow a lot of money from me, and their future will also go up.

"I never knew that I was so naïve that I didn't understand what it meant for a sedan chair to be carried over. I followed my lord on the boat and carriage to a place far away from home, but my lord didn't come to see me on the way."

"Only when I was carried in by a palanquin did I find out that I was only one of his concubines. That marriage was just something I took for granted. Your grandfather and your grandmother never said that he was going to marry me."