C5 Shaye

Two days later, I finally felt like I hadn’t had my skull nearly caved in, but I was still covered in bruises. And I had a dull ache everywhere.

“You’ve done fine on the medicine and shouldn’t need anymore,” the nurse said walking into the small room. There’s a pinch to her gray eyes like she’s wary of me, and I don’t know what to make of that. No one has ever been scared of me. No reason to, but can that be because I never knew what lay inside me? What I was truly capable of? “If you have any dizziness or blurred vision, come see me,” she continues.

“I will.” I nod, smiling at her. “Thanks.”

She turns away and leaves me alone to change into a clean prison uniform she’s laid on the bed. On the ledge of a barred window sits a bowl of water and a towel for me to get cleaned up.

Never thought I’d be happy to have a prison shower, but that is exactly what I’m going to do when my block has their turn later today.

Quickly, I wash off with the rag and water, careful of my bruises and bandaged injuries around my ribs. I’m starving and it is almost time for breakfast in the mess hall.

I rake my hands through my hair to get out most of the tangles and think about asking the nurse for a brush, but I don’t bother her. I think the only reason she took care of me is because her patron god is Asclepius.

She wears his emblem of a single snake entwined around a rod. Asclepius is one of the few demi-gods, who is the son of Apollo, and one of the few promoted to full god status.

I dress in new prison clothes and feel semi-normal. I leave the infirmary and weave my way through the halls to the mess hall, my stomach growling so loud it echoes around me. There’s something strange about wandering around here after what I’d endured. It felt surreal to know the authorities use inmates for their entertainment. Assholes.

What I need is to find a way to never end up in that damn arena again but what was the alternative? Staying here and waiting for death? There had to be a better life waiting out there for me.

Who was I kidding. Even if I escaped, the gods would hunt me down and kill me on sight.

I turn the corner, passing my cell when a shadow moves inside my room, and I freeze.

“Hey, beautiful,” Rowan says as he emerges from the shadows.

My heart collides into my ribcage from excitement. Seeing him brings with it exhilaration, a familiar face that makes me feel somehow sane. I dash into my cell and throw my arms around him. “You’re out of solitary?”

His scent of spiced clove and cedar with a hint of cinnamon envelopes me and I breathe him in, never wanting to let go. I feel like I’m overreacting, but I don’t push him away. Not yet. Not while I enjoy the way he holds me like nothing matters to him more than me. His arms around me and his presence is comforting like I’ve been with him all my life.

After dealing with Nelos, Rowan is security and comfort. Which is crazy to say considering where we are.

“Did you miss me?” He nuzzles my neck, holding me closer to him.

His hands slide over my injury, and I gasp out a cry.

“What is it?” He pulls back, concern flashing in his honey-brown eyes.

Tears prickle my eyes, and the pain radiates from where his hands are touching me. My throat tightens, too, emotions from the day overwhelming me.

He lifts my chin with his fingers, then hisses out a breath. “Who the fuck hurt you?” His tone instantly darkens.

I swallow as he stares at my bruises and the dark circles under my eyes. His grip on my chin squeezes like holding back his anger grows harder by the second.

“He’s dead now.” My words hang in the air between us like an accusation. “I fucking hate this place, Rowan. I'm not a fighter. This isn't me.”

“Goddammit, who did they put you up against?” His voice is full of anger and bitterness.

And just hearing him speak this way about someone hurting me is sexy as hell. I can’t deny how attracted I am to him right now when I shouldn’t be. My head is broken.

“Wait.” I push back. “You knew about this? About the fights and you didn’t say anything?”

“Not much I could do, Luv. I was in solitary, remember?” But he looks away from me. A flicker of something deep in his eyes that I don’t quite catch. “No one told me anything.”

“What?” I stiffen, trembling to hear him talk so casually about something so terrifying to me. My throat closes around the word and his face goes painfully blank as he sighs and faces me.

“Shit, I didn’t know until right before I got caught in the Warden’s office that they were even considering you for the fight rings.” His fingers rake through his cropped, dark hair leaving it standing up in spikes at the top. “By then it was too fucking late, and I was slammed into the hole.”

The fact he had wanted to warn me is something I supposed, still it seemed everyone knew about these fights but me. “But you still could’ve told me when I brought your candy.”

“Didn’t think they’d play you so early and I figured they’d only throw you in as a scare. Newbies don’t fight for their first time usually. Thought I could change their minds before you went in... thought I had more time, so I didn’t want to scare you, babe.” He gives me a level look like his temper is simmering underneath the surface. “Who did they put you up against?”

He hasn’t really told me anything, which makes whatever he is hiding feel like it is worse than what the truth would be. So I answer his question of who I had to fight, “Bono.”

“Fuck!” His jaw tightens and I have no doubt that if Bono was still alive, Rowan would kill him.

That realization should scare me, but it doesn’t.

“Can’t believe they sent you in like this. Why didn’t anyone help you?”

“They were too busy cheering from the stands while he nearly killed me.”

“The arena,” he says the name like a curse. “Why the fuck did they send you in there against him? He outranks you physically.”

I didn’t answer. I could guess why— because they didn’t want a god-killer like me to live. Execution would’ve been kinder, but the gods were never that simple. If I could suffer and they watch, that was the best for them.

“They’re going to make me go back in there, aren’t they?” I start trembling and I can’t stop.

“Hey,” he rubs my back, “you leave this with me, and I’ll try to sort out this shitshow.” He clears his throat. “You don’t have to deal with this shit on your own anymore. You have me now. I won’t let them hurt you.”

“How?” I look up at him with tears spilling down my face. “They won’t stop until I’m dead.” I know it more than anything in my life. There isn’t a way out of this hell they put me in, no matter how hard I try to be good or stay away from the gods. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.

“First, I’ll see what I can do behind the scenes. Second, I’ll train you in case part one doesn’t work.” He hugs me gently. “I’ll help you fight until you won’t fear anyone ever again.”

His suggestion is ludicrous. I wasn’t thrown into a penitentiary to become a damn warrior. “So, they will send me in for a second time?” I shudder at how close I came to dying mere days ago.

He hesitates and I feel him tense under my touch, his reaction answers me before his words come. “There’s going to be another fight. A bigger one.”

“What do you mean?” I blink up at him while my insides twist into knots.

“My fucking godfather visited me while I was in solitary.” His green eyes darken. “Told me there was a major fight coming up with you. All the gods were looking forward to it.”

Bile hits the back of my throat. I’m going to be sick. “So maybe he was talking about Bono?” I ask hopefully. Then I pause, not really hopeful at all. Rowan is right; there is always more to the story than that.

His gaze slides back and forth between mine, and his jaw tightens as though he is trying to hold back what he really wants to say.

But there’s a rising tension in the air that I already know the answer is hell no. My life has been upside down since I accidentally killed Anubis and it feels like everything is getting worse.

“Nothing is ever that simple, sweet legs.” He brushes my hair behind my ears, staring into me like he’s memorizing my face.

I hate the way he says that, but I can’t even be pissed at him. He’s the messenger of bad news, but things are going from worse to atrocious.

“So, y-your father came to visit you?” This can’t be good or he’d have told me sooner. Fear washes over me in icy waves.

“Yeah.” He gives me a crooked smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Loki the god of trickery himself.”

I inhale a sharp breath that stings all the way down my breastbone. “Your father is the Loki! Holy fuck! What did he want?”

Loki is half-brother to Odin and he’s a trickster, the type of god that likes to fuck with the other ones. He was thrown out of Asgard a long time ago and he’s never had much love for his family. But even I know that Loki is one of the strongest gods. I don’t understand why he would even consider caring about me fighting.

I’ve never met anyone whose direct parentage is one of a major god, so what sort of powers did Rowan have then? And could I trust him when his god patronage is known for pretense? I push aside the wandering thoughts because Rowan has proven himself to me with his actions and words. And I need to believe he means well.

“That’s not important.” He gently squeezes my shoulders. “I need to get you ready to defend yourself.”

I wrap my arms around my middle. “I-I don’t want to do this. I’m not a fighter. I don't want to hurt anyone.”

“But you’re not going to let them win, are you?” He nudges my chin up with his index finger. “You’re going to give them fucking hell for daring to touch you. Show them they need to fear you, then they’ll be so freaking scared of you, that they won’t want to be anywhere in the arena with you. Terrify them. Even the fucking full-bloods looking down their noses from the stands. Keep them guessing and let them remember that you took out Anubis.”

“How do I do that?” Thinking that it’s impossible. “I mean Anubis and Bono, they were my instinctive reactions, I didn’t plan on harming either of them, just tried to get them to stop what they were doing.”

“And we need to turn that in our favor.” He grins and his green eyes sparkle. “Get your power to work whenever you want and amp it up.”

I hold out my wrists, bound in the metal. “With these on?”

“Leave it to me. But it won’t just be magic we’ll be working with.” He grasps my wrists with his hands, bringing each up to kiss my palms. “You’ll need to be able to fight with just these too. In the ring, they’ll switch your collar and bracelets on and off. You’ve got to be ready for that. For no access to your power and the ability to hold your own in a fist fight.”

“Hell, I can’t do this…” My stomach coils. “I used to hide from the bully at school.”

“Listen, I’ve seen a three-foot demigod take down a seven-foot half-giant/half-demigod before. It’s all about skills and honing those until they were a part of you. Like breathing, like blinking…one day, you’ll do it easily, you didn’t even think about it anymore.

It becomes second nature. And you don’t have any other choice but to get good at fighting either—the fights aren’t going away anytime soon. If you want the chance at living, you have to be willing to fight for it. Ready yourself for the worst that could happen, but then hold out hope for the best.”

I don’t want to fight. I want to disappear. To forget that I’m a god-killer and living in a nightmare. “How can you have so much faith in me, when I don’t?” I ask with more conviction this time despite my fear of his answer.

“Because I’ve been where you are. Where they take everything from you, and now it’s time to fight back and take back what’s yours. You are so much more than you realize. You just don’t know it yet.”

His words roll over my mind, pressing everything together into a confused mess. How can I be more without knowing it myself? I look up at Rowan and nod. “I’m not sure, but I want to believe you, so when do we start?”

“First, I need you to do something for me—”