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C2 What in the hell is wrong with you guys?

An overpowering, pungent smell of bleach and disinfectant permeates the air in the changing room. Dr. X and his lab assistants open the vacuum-sealed packages containing sterilized scrubs; and after changing into them, they open up the airtight-sealed, sterilized vault where the bio-hazard suits are stored and put them on, as well.

Then they leave the changing room area, and head over to another airtight-sealed door which leads to the decontamination chamber. Upon entering the chamber ... and once making sure that the airtight seal has been restored ... Dr. X presses a big, red, shiny button affixed to the wall ... because let's be honest, who doesn't like pressing big, red shiny buttons affixed to walls ... and in an instant, the room is filled with a steam-like vapor infused with several different sterilizing and decontaminating agents.

The occupants of the chamber remain enveloped in that cleansing mist for about five minutes; then the self-contained ventilation system pumps the steam-like vapor out of the decontamination chamber. Dr. X and his lab assistants exit through the airtight-sealed door on the other side of the chamber.

Once again ... an overpowering, pungent smell of bleach and disinfectant permeate the air, as they walk down the long corridor; whose floor and walls have been furbished with a stainless-steel surface for easier sterilization. Above are panel after panel of alternating highly florescent and UV lights; instilled with the purpose to eradicate any bacteria or virus that might seep out and escape from the labs.

They're just about ready to enter the lab where Dr. X is formulating his experimental drug, when three burly, armed guards ... not wearing bio-hazard suits; but instead, are attired in kind of dirty uniforms, from having recently been on patrol outside ... come meandering up from the other end of the hallway, pushing a gurney that has 'the package' strapped down on it; and all of whom are snacking on chips ... with crumbs spilling everywhere along the way. Dr. X is completely flabbergasted ... momentarily at a loss of words; with a fully agape mouth ... as he watches the slovenly group approach.

As they come up upon Dr. X and his entourage; the guard in charge speaks out to Dr. X ... with little, soggy pieces of chewed up chips flying out from his mouth, with every other word or so...

"Hey, Doc ... here's the whackadoo you'll be using as your guinea pig; delivered as instructed by the commander. If you need anything else just let us know."

Dr. X's ire 'skyrockets through the roof', as his complexion rapidly turns to a dark, beet-red complexion. He rebukingly glares at the guard through seething eyes as he slowly raises his trembling hand ... his body is incessantly trembling from being highly infuriated because of their blatant disregard of the protocol needing to be followed when entering this sterilized area ... and wipes away several pieces of the projected, soggy chip fragments that splattered from the guard's mouth onto his bio-hazard suit's face mask.

Dr. X tightly clenches that hand into a fist, and briefly wavers it in front of the guard's face before pointing out his index finger at him; and irately stammers...

"Y-you ... wh-why ... wh-what ... just what's wrong with all of you ... what the hell are you guys doing here?!"

Quizzical expressions immediately overtake the guards' faces, as they momentarily befuddlingly look to one another. Then the guard in charge ... still a bit confounded over and taken aback by the doctor's apparent angry attitude towards them ... sheepishly utters...

"Um ... we're bringing this guy over to you ... the commander told us to bring him here, and hand him over to you. ... We're just following orders."

Dr. X quickly responds by mockingly reiterating; in an exaggeratedly whiny, nasally inflection...

"'We're just following orders'..." he blurts out, "Blah!!!"

Again ... he rebukingly glares at them through seething eyes; with a gaze so piercingly intense that it looks as if he's throwing daggers at them with his eyes. He exasperatedly huffs; and then grumbles...

"And just look at what you're all wearing ... unbelievable."

The quizzical expressions and befuddled stares return among the guards as they briefly look at one another. Then one of the other guards addresses Dr. X...

"What are you talking about ... what's wrong with what we're wearing? This is what we always wear when we're on duty ... it's our uniform. What else would we wear?"

Dr. X is instantly taken aback, as a dumbfounded expression immediately overtakes his countenance...

"What else would you wear? ... Uh, hello..."

The doctor animatedly waves his hand up and down in front of himself; gesturing to point out what he's got on...

"This is called a bio-hazard suit ... and this is what one wears while in a carefully contained, highly sterilized, quarantined area; where the tiniest of the tiniest microbe of a foreign bacteria particle could drastically ruin the results of even the most painstakingly careful carried out experiments. Which is why everyone who enters this section of the facility is required to wear a bio-hazard suit ... and not some filthy, dirt covered uniforms. What ... were you pigs outside rolling about in the mud, or what? "

Dr. X shoots over another rebuking glare...

"And don't get me started on those disgustingly repulsive, saliva soaked, germ laden pieces of chips spewing out from your chomping mouths; and falling out all over, contaminating the place."

Just then, an unnoticed janitor ... who also isn't wearing a bio-hazard suit, by the way ... strolls up upon the group; happening to catch the end of Dr. X's quasi-rant...

"Don't you go worrying about that, Dr. X; I'll be sure to go around and clean up after these slobs. It is my job, after all; to keep this place nice and tidy."

Out of the corner of his eye, the janitor notices a blemished smudge on the stainless-steel wall next to Dr. X; and immediately walks over and hocks up a huge 'loogie' on it. He vigorously wipes the viscous spit with his shirt sleeve; pressingly smearing it about the smudge until it disappears, and the wall is dried. He steps back and admires his work; while gloatingly self-praising...

"Now that's one hell of a spit-shine, if I do say myself. Just look at the glimmering shimmer; hey, Doc."

He turns to look at Dr. X; who's now cringing, with a disgusted look etched upon his visage...

"How could you...?" He tiresomely shakes his head. "Never mind that ... why aren't you wearing a bio-hazard suit?"

The janitor lets out a short chuckle...

"Bio-hazard suit ... now why in the world would I be wearing a bio-hazard suit? I ain't know scientist or researcher; I'm just the janitor around here ... all I need is good, thick sturdy pair of rubber gloves and I'm good to go."

A dumbfounded Dr. X remains speechless; slowly shaking his head. One of his lab assistants takes it upon himself to inquire...

"By the way; you guys all came from down that way ... where did you guys come in from? How did you even get in here?"

The janitor answers on behalf of the unsuited group...

"Oh, I just let them come in with me through the back way."

"The back way?"

"Yeah ... the custodial department had a door installed years ago that leads from one of our utility closets into this area."

Hearing this causes Dr. X to regain his power of speech. He curtly interjects...

"What?! Wait a minute; hold on ... are you telling us that there's another random door that leads into what's supposed to be a quarantined, sterilized area ... and it's in a janitor's closet?!"

The janitor retorts, "Utility closet ... but, yes."

"And I'm assuming that this door doesn't even have a decontamination chamber that must be gone through before entering?"

The janitor lets out another short chuckle...

"Of course not, why should it. Those things are too much of a hassle to have to go through every time you're coming and going. Why bother going through all that trouble when it's so much easier this way. No muss, no fuss."

Again Dr. X is left speechless, standing there motionless with a stoic expression on his face. Then all of a sudden, he bursts out laughing ... not a ha-ha funny, but more of a 'dude just snapped and lost his mind' kind of laugh ... and shortly after that, he rips the head piece off of his bio-hazard suit and crazily rambles...

"Yes; why bother? Who cares if a lifetime's worth of work is destroyed in a manner of seconds from contamination ... as long as you get to spare a few minutes here and there when coming and going? Like he so eloquently put it ... 'no muss, no fuss'; right? Let's keep everything easy peasy ... to hell with the SOP and protocol. After all, we only deal with virulent substances and chemicals here, anyway ... so fuck the decontamination process!"

Libre Baskerville
Gentium Book Basic
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