C9 9. A Business Trip

Ivanna's PoV

I did do something stupid by kissing Jax's lips at that time. I was following the impulse that somehow led me to do that. And now, I was suffering from prolonged shame. For a while, I just paced the room and couldn't keep my eyes closed. For some reason, one day seemed to fly by, and to deal with all of this; I appeared hopeless.

The wedding between me and Damon, which I imagined would be a sacred and happy moment, seemed impossible to continue. There was no way I could plunge myself into a pit where I would eventually drown, and if that happened, Damon wouldn't necessarily save me.

Again, this would be Jax's job.

Then, when I was a little calmer and about to lie down, the door to the room opened. I reluctantly turned my head because, from the sound of footsteps alone, I knew who was coming. There was no way Jax would dare to enter my room just like that.

"I saw your bodyguard leave here a few minutes ago," he said suddenly, without care.

"So?"

"What was he doing in daylight like this, being in your room—our room? And when I arrived, you seemed very agitated."

"How did you know I was agitated? You even just walked in here. And again, you said this was our room? Aren't you always gone by midnight and gone by early morning? What are you keeping from me, Damon?" I exclaimed, no longer caring what would happen to my relationship with him. I'm sure what I've seen all this time is the truth. It's just—who is that woman?

"I don't know what you're talking about, baby."

Hearing an answer that sounded like he was trying to change the subject, I got up and sat facing him. I sniffed the woman's perfume from where I was, even though the distance between Damon and me was pretty far.

"You look neat. Where are you going? Or ... where are you from?" I asked, already looking like a jealous lover. I'm honestly not a girl like that, but Damon's behavior in recent times has filled me with suspicion. What if what I saw was Damon? Then who was that woman? I couldn't possibly ask Jax for help since he didn't seem too interested in my betrayal-filled love life. Or even in me—clearly, Jax had no interest in me.

"You're asking too many questions now for what you don't need to ask, Ivanna. Why don't you ask me about my love for you? Or whether our relationship will continue or not. I think you must be looking forward to this, right? Because you've been hiding things from me, and to keep up with your lies, you're accusing me!"

What? What the heck? Why is he the one attacking me now? He lied and cheated on me, so why is he throwing grenades at me now?

"Damon, is it not wrong? Didn't I hear you wrong? Did you just accuse me of betraying you?"

"You tell me! That bodyguard guy already answered everything."

I was speechless at all the accusations he leveled at me. Maybe he didn't know how hard I had struggled to make our relationship work. With him never even involving me in his activities anymore and only being with Tatiana, it must have made me feel jealous, but I tried to suppress it as much as I could.

After all, they were cousins, and Tatiana was my best friend; there was no way she would betray me. And if Damon was cheating on me behind my back, then Tatiana wasn't the one. It didn't seem fair to accuse my own best friend.

"Ha! You can't answer that, can you? Never mind, Vans, I know your behavior even if I don't see it myself."

I didn't know what else to say to get him to stop accusing me randomly. However, from his hurtful words, I knew that he was the one who wanted this problem to get worse.

I then sighed to tame the lion inside me that kept roaring and seemed to want to pounce on anyone near me, especially Damon—I went closer to him, stroked his arm, and wrapped my arms around him to hug him. I didn't want the relationship we had been building for two years to fall apart just because we suspected each other.

Although I was sure of what I saw, I couldn't prove it yet, could I? So there was no reason for me to keep stirring up trouble between us.

"I'm sorry, Damon. I—perhaps I've been unreasonable the last while. I've noticed some irregularities in our relationship. You've stopped including me in your activities and spent more time with Tatiana than me."

The man moved his body away but kept my arm around his waist.

"Did you just say that you were jealous of Tatiana? My cousin? Vans ..."

"Okay, I know! I'm so horrible. But that's the truth, Damon. Tatiana is so beautiful that she's attracted every man I've ever been with. It always happens."

"Hey, baby ..." Damon strokes my face and brushes away the hair strands covering my face. "Why would you think that? You're beautiful too. You're even more beautiful than Tatiana, at least to me. Why should you be inferior to her?"

"I'm not inferior, Damon. Doesn't this make sense? Can't I be jealous if my fiancé travels with other women more than I do? You even went on a charity tour with her without me, Damon."

The man seemed to pause for a moment. He let go of my arms from him this time.

"So, is that the problem? I was just about to tell you to come with me this time. Yes, Tatiana is coming because she's part of this project. But you, of course, have to come with me. You're my fiancé and just getting used to all my activities. That is ... if you're willing to come."

My eyes widened perfectly at Damon's invitation. Was he really asking me to go with him? I tried to double-check. And his nod made me feel a little relieved. Maybe I was just hallucinating for a long time.

Or it could be the truth; it's just that I don't have any evidence to attack him again. Hence, I'll forget what I've seen and pretend I've never witnessed anything.

***

I packed up my things quickly because Damon said that tonight we were leaving for the United Emirates to discuss his foundation's charity work with some of his colleagues from several countries. I've frankly never done this with him, so I'm nervous and anxious about what our trip will be like.

Will I be able to help him with everything he does, or will I just be an appendage, and there will still be Tatiana between us?

Busy with my belongings—while Damon's had already been sorted out, assisted by some of his assistants—someone knocked on the door, followed by a familiar baritone voice.

Damon had returned to the office after leaving only to inform me that he was taking me away this time, sounding romantic and so sweet, but I don't know. And it was Damon's departure that gave me the courage to let the man in front of my room in. I don't want to create new problems with the intensity of my closeness with Jax, even though this is only related to working professionally. Still, yesterday's incident is impossible to forget.

His cold lips are still felt on my lips.

"Are you leaving?" he asked, to which I nodded and then resumed my work.

"Damon asked me to come along on this trip. I guess I should since we're getting married soon, and of course, I will be a part of everything. Isn't that right?" I asked, making sure.

Oh, come on, Vans, what are you looking for in this conversation? Do you want to provoke Jax's behavior, which obviously wouldn't cross his professional boundaries?

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"What is it this time, Jax? You showed that you're not interested in my love life and suggested that I must maintain the relationship by discussing all problems with Damon; now, why are you questioning my confidence?"

"I'm just ... I'm sorry. You're right. This is indeed the best thing for you to do. I will come with you to escort you. It is my duty," Jax replied, then.

This time I turned around, staring at his sapphire eyes that looked so sparkling. He was so beautiful, so handsome, and I couldn't help but stare at him constantly. However, being unrequited was not a good thing. Moreover, I already have a fiancé.

"What's on your mind?" I asked.

"Nothing but making sure you're safe."

"I'll be safe and fine, Jax. Just forget about whatever your plan is this time. You're right. Maybe I was just hallucinating about Damon, who I saw making love to another woman. I'm just a jealous, possessive lover. Everything will be fine, and this is just the beginning."

"But, Miss—"

I raised my hand, stopping whatever sentence he was about to say. I didn't want to hear it for now because it might make me cling to my unwarranted suspicion of Damon. Wasn't it Jax who suggested this? So why does he seem to disagree now?

"You can go home while I'm gone. I'll be fine, Jax. No need to worry; Damon will definitely take care of me."