C12 Not okay

I woke up alone in bed. It's only six-thirty in the morning. It's Saturday so we don't have to go to the university.

I stayed still before being forced to get up and look for Kian. I found him in the kitchen. There is a frying pan on the stove. Looks like he just started cooking.

The kitchen was a bit messy. There are ingredients and foods on the countertop. When he notices my presence he glances at me. I leaned against the kitchen door and looked at him with a smile.

"I guess you got up early and cook." He just smiled sparingly. He turned down the heat on the stove before taking a few steps toward me. He kissed me on the lips.

"Sorry about last night. I came home late due to traffic," he explained seriously. I nodded.

"It's okay. I just hope you have texted me. Your wife was so worried." I sighed.

"Sorry." He kissed me again. It lasted for just a few seconds because if he doesn't stop, the pan will burn.

"While I'm cooking, pack our clothes good for two days," he said.

"Why?" I asked and my forehead wrinkled.

"Let's go out of town," he replied as he put the bacon into the pan. Suddenly, he got plans.

"Okay, I'll just pack up." I shook my head and go up to get our things ready.

We went to Tagaytay.

Wandered all day and when night came he tirelessly claimed me over and over again. We went to bed in the morning so we got up late the next morning.

“We’ll graduate in a few months,” I said.

The real challenge of life is just beginning. Just thinking of it now, I'm already nervous. Adulthood is a bit scary. Because severe trials are waiting to test you.

Will I be strong enough or will I falter? I turned to him because he wasn't even speaking.

"You okay there?" I asked because he didn't even notice that I was staring at him. He was quiet and his mind was preoccupied.

"Huh? Yeah," he replied. He kissed my cheek and hugged me. We just finished breakfast. He was sitting on the sofa facing the wide balcony of the hotel where we were staying. I am sitting on his lap. He didn't complain because he was used to being in this position.

"I love you, Moo, " he whispered.

It's not that I don't want what he's saying. The thing that bothers me is that he's saying it since yesterday. Only I love you's that's coming out of his mouth.

"I love you more. What are you thinking?" I asked him. He sighed and shook his head and sighed again. He even tightened his grip on me.

"I was just thinking about our future. You and me. Our future with our children."

I smiled. "Do you want us to have children?"

We plan to be stable first. We both have trust funds from our parents. It's also big enough because our parents tell us to give them a grandchild after graduation.

But Kian and I had already planned not to. We work first, save, and travel before having a baby.

"I'll marry you in the church first. I'll save that. I will give you a grand wedding. I will buy you the most beautiful and expensive wedding gown."

I laughed.

"What? I'm not joking. That's my dream."

"Okay, I'm not against it. I think you're very sentimental now. You sure you're okay?"

"I love you so much," he replied.

"Hi, Beth," Macy greeted me as soon as I entered the classroom. I smiled and greeted back as well. She approached my seat but our instructor arrived just in time so she returned to her seat.

I was astonished. Does she need anything from me? I looked at her. Her attention is already on her friends.

I just shook my head because they were talking without a voice coming out of their lips. How did they get along?

Our morning class ended. We had a quiz earlier. I haven't been able to review but I'm confident that I only made three or four mistakes out of fifty of our quizzes. My head hurts a little.

"Beth, wait!" Macy called me when I was out of the room. I stopped walking and waited for her. He smiled at me.

"It's my birthday today," she said with a smile.

"Ahm, happy birthday. Sorry, I didn't know." If I only knew I would give her a gift since she was nice to me.

"It's okay. Please go with us," she said. She doesn't really want to give up.

I smiled and shook my head. I know she knew that I am not into parties. She sighed. Her face looked sad so I felt sad too.

It's Kian and I monthsarry today. I am thinking of giving him a surprise— a romantic dinner perhaps. Maybe I'll just buy a gift for Macy to make it up for her. We aren't that close but I want to give her a gift.

"I'm sorry, Macy. Happy birthday again."

She nodded. I saw Kian coming so I said goodbye to Macy and greeted my husband. He kissed me on my cheeks.

"Let's go. I already asked Raul to order food for us," he said before wrapping his hand around my shoulder.

I turned to Macy. Her friends were looking at Kian and me. Macy's friends are telling her something but she shook her head.

We first passed the table of the cheering squad members before the table occupied by Kian’s friends. They stared at us while whispering.

"Hi, Beth," the cheerleader greeted me. I noticed Kian suddenly being uncomfortable. "Hello, Kian."

I can sense her playful tone as she greeted Kian.

Kian didn't answer her nor look at her. I was lazy to wave. I didn’t greet her as well, because I knew she was just fake to me. I don't even know why all of a sudden she notices me.

After we turned away from her I heard the sound of her kissing the air. She did that a few times while her friends were laughing.

"Is it pleasurable?" they further asked.

Kian pulled me away quickly. I just go with him because I already felt hungry.

Kian's class will end at six o'clock because they are finishing an activity in one of their subjects. Mine will end at four o'clock. I still have time to prepare our dinner. Before going home, Macy approached me once again.

"Please, Beth. I wanted you to be on my birthday," she pleaded. Her eyes were hopeful but I had a plan in advance.

"I'm sorry, Macy," I replied sadly. Maybe I'll just make it up to her next time.

I'm in a hurry when I got home. I dropped my bag and books on the sofa and headed straight to the kitchen. There are ingredients ready in the refrigerator. Because I woke up early this morning to prepare everything so that I don't have to hurry while cooking.

While cooking I also put air in the transparent balloons. I scattered them on the floor that has LED lights on it.

Six-thirty o'clock, the table was all set. I went up to our room to take a shower and get dressed. I wore a red dress and applied red lipstick. I smiled in the mirror. The whole house was dark. It was part of the surprise.

I sat down while waiting for him. He's already near on the sofa, I should wait. I smiled and was shaken by the thought. Maybe I should be lying on the sofa while waiting for him.

Just as he turned on the light, his sexy and beautiful wife appeared to him. I laughed at what I was thinking. But, why not? It's not a bad idea. I am his wife and there is nothing wrong with seducing my own husband. I lay down on the sofa facing the main door. My thighs are exposed. The curve of my body is also obvious. Because of the low cut of the dress, my cleavage was also exposed.

It's about eight o'clock and I'm so tired of siiting here. But still, Kian hasn't come home yet. Until I didn’t realize I was already asleep again. I woke up around nine o'clock. He hasn't come home yet. I already felt hungry but the nervousness was more dominant in my chest. Here I am again. I feel like I have a heart condition. I got up and decided to just wait for him at the table I had prepared. The food I prepared was cold now. Ten o'clock came.

I was tired of waiting so I ate first. I ate very little. I have put away what I have prepared. The balloons and LED lights, I stuffed all of it in the garbage bag.

I finished cleaning but Kian still hasn't come home yet. I went up to our room and went into the bathroom. I washed my face to erase the lipstick I had put on. I changed my clothes.

I looked at my cellphone. There is a message from Kian. He said he will be late because they have not finished what they are doing. I didn't reply.

I don't want to say okay, because it's not okay. I am not okay and what I feel today was not totally okay. I was dragged to sleep when I heard the door of the room open.

I didn’t move and pretended to be asleep. I'm annoyed and I don’t want to feel this way. He went straight to the bathroom and after taking a bath he kissed me. He hugged me and whispered...

"Sorry, I am late."

I know he thinks that I am already asleep. I can't be wrong but he smells of wine.