C17 Goodbye

I didn’t sleep well but I still woke up early. I felt heavy in my head and chest. It still hurts a lot but I can't take it anymore. I've cried a lot and no tears are coming out. Does that mean I accepted what happened?

Today is our graduation. I should be happy because all my hard work will be paid off. I will finish with flying colors. Same as Kian. But I couldn't even get excited.

I was also thinking of not attending my graduation. I can still get my diploma and my dean's awards. I also have a graduation picture that Mom and Dad immediately hung on the wall. But this day is special, and important to my parents who worked hard for me to attend a prestigious university.

I gawked for a few seconds. I remember what happened yesterday. I took a deep breath. I don't want to think about what happened anymore. Because I don't want to be hurt again. Kian and my plans will never happen anymore. I will be the only one to fulfill my dreams.

I'm used to being alone. It's not a big deal to me. Maybe, I should travel and do something fun while I am on a vacation. Yeah, how about I spend one month travel to some beautiful tourist attraction in the country before applying for a job. I want to have fun before I start working. So that my depression will vanish.

I got up early but I went down at noon. I was greeted immediately by the noise coming from the living room. Our relatives are here. There are gifts placed on the side of our house. There are also flowers and balloons that are very nicely arranged.

I smiled and waved at them. We are not very close, especially since my cousins

and I didn't grow up together. Also, I am a loner unlike them who are used to be socializing. But I am happy and they are here now for me.

"Congratulations!" they greeted and kissed me on my cheeks.

"Thank you ..."

The curtain parted so I could see Kian's house just across from ours. There are cars parked outside and I am sure their relatives are there as well. My cousin Liz told me that Kian was here a while ago. She said that Kian gave me the largest bouquet of roses in various colors.

I don't know what that flower is for. Is it to congratulate me on our graduation? Because I'm sure that what happened last night has completely ruined our relationship.

He planned for it and that's for sure. He didn't even try to explain or chase after me. It's not that it would change my mind about us, though.

At least he should have tried to be honest with me. But I thought, if he had told me the truth before, would it be easier for me to accept or would I be even more hurt?

I have things on my mind because of what happened. Kian and I didn't really love each other before we got married. We didn't even become friends. Dad insisted on the marriage, but it was Kian's fault. And it was also my fault that I didn't speak up and refused when dad insisted that we should get married. Maybe Kian just said yes so our parents would not be on bad terms. I thought we were okay. But it's not.

Graduation will be at three o'clock in the afternoon, so after we had lunch, my cousins

started helping me with my get-up. It was half-past two when we arrived at the venue.

I graduated as magna cum laude and Kian graduated as cum laude. I have tears in my eyes when he goes to the stage to accept his diploma and award. When he turned around I immediately looked down. I also didn't roam my eyes because I might see Jewel and her friends.

"Congrats!" Macy and I greeted each other.

We cried together but both had smiles on our lips. Everyone is emotional, especially the parents. After the ceremony, everyone became busy with picture taking with friends and some relatives.

Some of my classmates approached me for a picture. After that, I also approached my parents who were crying. They hugged me both.

"Congrats, dear. We're so proud of you!"

"Thank you, Mom, Dad. I owe you everything."

They both shooked their heads, "It's our responsibility as your parents."

"And I promise that I will repay you for all that you have done for me."

"Congrats, Beth!"

"Congrats, cousin!"

My relatives also came to me for picture taking. A few moments later, Kian's parents also approached us. They both congratulate me. They were very happy. They don't seem to know what happened yet.

They are not at fault so I treated them normally. So did my parents. They introduced me to some of their relatives.

"Our daughter-in-law," they happily introduced me. I almost forgot that Kian and I were still married. Their relatives shook my hands and kissed me.

Later on, Kian also approached us.

"Congratulations, Moo. I'm so proud of you," he greeted me. He immediately hugged me to my surprise.

"C-Congrats too," I greeted back. I held back my tears.

"Let's talk later, okay?" he whispered to me in a very tender and pleading tone.

I didn't say a word but I nodded slowly. We became the target of temptation by his cousins

and my cousins. They want us to kiss. And Kian is on it.

He kissed me on my cheeks and they immediately took a picture of us. I have to act normally because they don't know what happened.

I also need to show those who knew us that we are okay even if we are not. As much as possible I want that it's only us who knew everything like when we suddenly got married.

His classmates called her, so he left me for a while. He invited me to join but Macy immediately approached me and pulled me into their group.

"What's that?" she asked.

I just shooked my head and smiled sparingly.

"They don't know yet?" she asked in a whisper. I nodded and sighed.

"Come on, let's take a picture with the others," I said to her. I want my graduation photo album to be full so that I can open more when I get older.

Memories that I will cherish when I got old and for life.

I turned to Kian who was having fun with his classmates. I noticed Jewel approaching them. Kian averted his eyes and our eyes met exactly.

I immediately averted my eyes and forced myself to mingle with the others.

Six o'clock in the afternoon when we left the venue. Kian and my celebration became one. He said his parents made a reservation at a restaurant. I rode in my cousin's car and Kian rode in his relative's car as well.

I sat next to Kian's chair while eating. He took care of me. The question is always what I want to eat or if what I eat was delicious. The rest of us are still thrilled. My parents, on the other hand, were quiet, watching and sometimes looking at each other.

After we ate and when we got out of the restaurant I looked at Kian who was quiet beside me.

"Aren't your cousins

home yet?" he asked. I shook my head. He snorted and thought for a moment. I also just quietly watched him.

And as I stared at him I could feel the rapid beating of my heart which made my chest ache even more.

My eyes watered so I immediately averted my gaze. I simply wiped away the tears and looked back at Kian who had been silent the whole time. I immediately hugged him to his surprise. He also hugged me back. We were both silent and the only thing we could hear was the beating of our hearts.

"Let's go!" our cousins

shouted so we immediately let go of each other. I smiled at him before I got in my cousin's car.

Goodbye, Kian.