C1 Faker System
The chill of the north wind mingled with the coolness of autumn, raising the question: Whose wife waits alone in her chamber?
Should trouble arise, I'm here to lend a hand. My name is Wang, and I live just next door!
When a middle-aged man with green hair and the surname Wang moved into the neighboring apartment, Su Hao couldn't shake the feeling that a peculiar shade of green had crept into his life.
Harboring an ominous hunch, Su Hao requested time off from his boss and left work early to head home.
Upon entering his home, the accelerating rhythm of a creaking bed emanated from the bedroom.
Su Hao's face paled as he kicked open the door, only to be met with a sight that struck him like a bolt of lightning.
The moon cast a bright glow over the bed, where two pairs of shoes lay scattered on the floor. He looked up to see the green light, then down at the bed, now dampened.
His hastily married bride was in the arms of Old Wang from next door, nonchalantly gazing upon distant hills as if picking chrysanthemums.
Overwhelmed by the sting of betrayal, Su Hao's eyes blazed with fury. He lost all sense of reason and stormed into the kitchen, seizing the watermelon knife that could slay both gods and buddhas.
With this blade, he vowed to avenge his shattered honor!
No sooner had he emerged from the kitchen than a bare figure with stockings on his head darted out the door, moving with such speed that one might mistake him for a cow that had escaped its pen.
"Old Wang, you better stop right now!" Su Hao bellowed, his dormant athletic prowess suddenly surging, propelling him in hot pursuit of Old Wang.
Old Wang, hearing the blood-curdling scream behind him and catching a glimpse of the gleaming blade in his peripheral vision, knew the knife was close enough to end his life.
Terrified, Old Wang gritted his teeth, channeling every last ounce of urgency from his bladder into a sprint that seemed to leave a peculiar scent in its wake.
The neighborhood aunties, in the midst of their square dance, were so taken aback by the commotion that their routine morphed into a Latin dance.
A passing blind man paused, and for a fleeting moment, a sharp glint pierced the haze of his clouded eyes.
The elderly gentleman in the wheelchair sprang to his feet and broke into an impromptu swan dance, miraculously healed from years of disability in an instant.
Old Wang, his head adorned with stockings, sprinted with surprising speed!
Hot on his heels, Su Hao, brandishing a watermelon knife, pursued with valor!
In the heat of the chase, Su Hao's lips moved silently, his extensive background in mathematics granting him exceptional calculative prowess.
Despite Old Wang's lengthy strides, his pace was sluggish.
Su Hao, though shorter in stature, had the advantage of a quicker cadence.
Invoking the principles of inertia and Einstein's theory of relativity, it was only a matter of seconds before Old Wang would come face-to-face with the sharpness of Su Hao's watermelon knife.
Ten meters...
Five meters...
Three meters...
"Ha...tui!" With just a meter separating them, Old Wang whipped around and launched a saliva attack, aiming to douse Su Hao's face and disrupt his rhythm.
But whether it was a lack of investment or sheer bad luck, the spittle assault failed to slow Su Hao. Instead, it triggered his latent Berserk ability!
In a flash, Su Hao's step frequency surged, his watermelon knife gleaming with a chilling intent as it aimed for Old Wang's neck.
However, the knife, seemingly with a mind of its own, merely sliced through the stockings atop Old Wang's head.
This peculiar detail revealed an unexpected truth: this was a knife with a penchant for mischief!
Old Wang, narrowly escaping with his life, appeared outwardly composed but was internally frantic.
Below, two baskets swayed in the wind, as if pleading for the police to arrive and prevent the impending carnage.
Just then, an uncovered manhole loomed before Old Wang and Su Hao.
With the confidence of a man with nothing to lose, Old Wang stepped over the manhole with ease.
Su Hao, refusing to be outdone, leapt with all his might but fell short, his foot landing precariously on the edge of the manhole cover.
Suddenly, his body rebelled, plunging towards the dark abyss below.
In this critical moment, the Qilin arm technique, perfected through slow-motion practice with both hands, proved its worth. As his head neared the manhole, Su Hao's quick reflexes allowed him to grasp the rim, halting his descent into the depths.
Just three seconds more!
With just another three seconds, he could have escaped this predicament with a pull-up followed by a 360-degree front flip!
But fate had other plans. At that very moment, some jerk on a bicycle rode by, the wheels cruelly rolling over his hands, one after the other.
"Ah!"
A harrowing scream echoed through the area as Su Hao plummeted into the sewer below...
...
Ding dong! The Pretentious System has detected a severely damaged life form. Reluctantly initiating fusion, I could cry...
Ding dong! The Pretentious System fusion is complete. Binding tears, love is gone...
Ding dong! The Pretentious System has restored all functions. Initiating with a blood-curdling start. I was once so elated, but now, for the love of demons, I feel like I'm on the brink of death...
...
"Am I dead?"
In a space all his own, Su Hao gazed around bewildered, a smirk of self-derision spreading across his face.
Reflecting on his life, it was a catalogue of failures.
At twenty, disowned by his family, he ended up in the city of his fiancée, facing mockery at every turn.
By twenty-two, his fiancée's company had failed, she took her own life, and he was left drowning in debt, his life a mess.
The next eight years were a blur, his existence akin to that of a zombie—sometimes flailing, sometimes aimless.
Today, he had hastily married a woman he'd known for less than three days. And, oh yes, he'd been cuckolded!
In the end, his life's string of failures culminated in a sewer, a demise as tragic as it was absurd.
The more he dwelled on it, the more the bitterness stung. Tears streamed down Su Hao's face, lending him a forlorn air.
"Dear host, here's a tissue for you!"
Just then, a tissue materialized out of thin air and drifted towards him.
"Thank you!" Su Hao instinctively expressed his gratitude, but as he reached out, he suddenly realized the oddity of the situation and recoiled in alarm: "Who's there? Who's speaking?"
He scanned his surroundings, only to find no other presence besides the tissue that floated by his side.
"Well, since you've asked so earnestly, I shall benevolently reveal myself. To prevent the world from devastation, to maintain its peace, I am the love and truth-embracing, endearingly charming guide—The Pretentious System!" The mechanical voice, filled with fervor, rang in Su Hao's ears.
"Still wallowing in despair because your family cast you aside, leaving you powerless to reclaim your honor?"
"Feeling lost and helpless from enduring endless ridicule, with no chance to rise above it?"
"Don't be sad, don't wander aimlessly. The Pretentious System is here to escort you to glory, helping you ascend to a godlike status."
"In this world, nothing is too difficult if you're willing to put on a show. Only by outdoing others in pretense can you truly stand above the rest!"
Su Hao's ears were filled with the relentless mechanical voice, each message resonating like thunder, striking deep into his soul.
Suddenly, a flood of information poured from the ether straight into Su Hao's mind.
"A system designed solely to aid users in their pretentious endeavors..."
"Simply by pretending, users earn pretentious points. Accumulate 100 points, and you're eligible for a lottery draw to win pretentious items..."
"First-time users binding with the Pretentious System receive a complimentary Moonlight Treasure Box Experience Card and a Literary Pretentious Experience Card..."
"Each experience card is a one-time use, with the duration set by the system..."
...
Upon digesting the information about the Pretentious System, Su Hao stood frozen, as if turned to stone.
"Snap!"
It took a while, but he finally smacked his own face. The sting, like hot sauce on his skin, confirmed this wasn't a dream.
"Hahaha, truly, when one door closes, another opens. For a decade, I've lived like a dog—my haters dancing with joy, my lovers shedding tears."
"I've toiled all my life, yet I can't take with me a single leaf or twig. I've clung to my pride, yet I can't carry with me a shred of vanity or affection. Looking back from the afterlife, I see my life was spent in vain."
"I long to weep, yet no sound comes out. I yearn to atone, but time has passed me by. All that remains is a barren wasteland."
"Today, I, Su Hao, have been granted the Pretentious System. To those who love me, prepare to dance and sing. To those who despise me, brace yourselves for heart-wrenching tears!"
With a surge of excitement, Su Hao clenched his fists, ignoring the pain, his eyes ablaze with a light that scorned the world.
"The Alien Dimension Space is on the verge of closing. To ensure the host's safety, the system has automatically activated the Moonlight Treasure Box experience card. Please set the desired time frame for teleportation, Host."
"Ten years ago!" Su Hao commanded without a moment's hesitation.
That was the time his despair had begun, and now, he was determined to shatter that despair once and for all.
"Command acknowledged. Execution in progress."
With the mechanical voice's confirmation, the Moonlight Treasure Box materialized out of thin air, casting a beam of light that completely enveloped Su Hao's form.
