C8 My Secretary Is Really Bad

Although my mother believed that I was an irresponsible man. But in my bones, I was a responsible and reliable man. After all, I was the young and talented CEO, Wang Xiaoming.

Since I've decided to pursue Lin Yiyi, I have to be responsible for him. I want him to have a relationship with me without any worries. So in the next second, I plopped down on my knees towards my mother.

My mother was stunned and asked, " W-what are you doing?"

"Mom! I'm not a human! Yiyi... he hates me to death!"

"..."

For the next five minutes, I told my mother about the imaginary day I found out I'm gay. The day I was so drunk that I forced myself on Lin Yiyi and made him angry. He was so enraged that he began hating me and now wants to resign.

At first, my mother was dumbstruck. After her moment of speechlessness, she called my dad and brother back home. Aster that something inconvincible happened. I, a 38-year-old man, was beaten black and blue by my aged father and younger brother. I was locked inside our home and barred from going outside. They ordered me to make amends with Lin Yiyi tomorrow by whipping myself in front of him. My dad even threatened that if Lin Yiyi didn't forgive me, he would personally send me the police. I would like to reiterate: I'm their biological son.

At night, I tried to sleep, but due to my swollen face, mouth, nose... you get it; I couldn't sleep. So, I took out Lin Yiyi's phone and began making wild guesses about his password. Needless to say, I was wrong every time. So, I decided to ask for help from my brother, who was a software engineer. After a lot of promises, he helped me crack the password.

Yes, I know I was violating Lin Yiyi’s privacy, but I really want to know who her online boyfriend is. Who was he to make Lin Yiyi go back to Chengdu so eagerly? As the adage went: If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. Lin Yiyi will either be my secretary or my man. There is no other way around this. I swear, I won't look too deep, just the surface.

As I promised, I just spent... Uhm, okay, I spent three hours looking into his phone.

It was strange. I looked around for so long, yet I couldn't find a single trace of his boyfriend. I looked through his WeChat logs — all of them were my WeChat moments and the red packets I sent him. I looked through his QQ chat history — all I saw were tasks I bombarded him with. I looked through his Zihu — it was filled with questions related to me. "How to deal with an unreasonable boss?" "How do I meet my boss's expectations?" "Why was my boss rude today?"

Finally, I decided to open the most retarded app of them all — Weibo. I don't like Weibo as I feel the mentally retarded population of China lives here. So, I was surprised when I found that Lin Yiyi had an account on Weibo. His online name was Yiyiwuxing, and he had 10,000 fans. He had 30 posts that started as early as five years ago: I began from the first one.

"Some feelings and words are there in my heart that will just ruin my work environment and make him angry. Just keeping them in my heart hurts, so I'll pour them out here in hopes of keeping a stable work environment.

"I'll start by saying I like my boss, but he is a straight man. He is older than me, his beard is often unshaven and sloppy, but he is tall and has strong arms. To this day, I can't forget about the time he pulled me out of the abyss and held me in his arms. Like the Plank's constant, he held me steadily and gave me a sense of security. He was actually a quiet and reserved person. But recently, he has always been nagging me a lot. It makes me think if I'm special to him? Maybe, just maybe, he, too, likes me a little. Yesterday, I found he treated all his acquaintances this way. I... I have to restrain my feelings and hide them from him. I still owe him money. I have to pay him back before I can leave him."

"I couldn't restrain myself and ended up living with my boss. Living with him changed my life. Now, I have to help him tie his tie, cook for him and wake him up. Sometimes when I go to wake him, he would already be up — that makes me unhappy. So, I began waking up even earlier. Like this, I can see him sleeping — he looks very cute while sleeping. Sometimes, I get greedy while seeing him sleep and wonder if I can sleep beside him. I like cooking for my boss — while cooking for him, my heart thumps like the particle accelerator. My boss actually has no preferences when it comes to food — he eats anything I cook. It was my birthday today, so he took me to a french restaurant. I'm not used to french food, so he brought me back and cooked a bowl of noodles for me. He put an ungodly amount of truffles and meat in the noodles, it made the noodles a bit tasteless, but he cooked for me; I am happy.”

"Today, he called me "Wife" by mistake. He thought I would get angry — I wasn't. I even added a little something in my heart: Husband. I really want to call him that, but I’m not qualified; I can only call him the boss. Every time I call him boss, I feel shy. He would sometimes call me "Wife" to tease me, but that makes me fear that he knows what's in my head. Sometimes I get scared as I think he can read my mind. But if that's the case, I won't get angry. After all, he would at least know what I want."

"Yesterday, my boss got drunk, so I helped him sleep. He kept on nagging me and telling me about his day. He even praised me and said he liked me the best in the entire company. I was unprepared that time, so I asked him again, 'Who do you like the most?' Again, he said he liked me the most; this time — I recorded it on my phone."

"Today, I hid my boss's old pajamas. Instead of washing it with all his other clothes, I hid it amongst my own clothes inside. As for the rest, I hung them outside to dry. Why did I do that? Well... it felt like my boss was hugging me. I feel a little guilty and as if I'm a pervert, but I can't help it."

"I saw a lot of people commenting that I should be brave in pursuing my love. I am afraid I will let you down. I can't confess to the boss. First, my boss is really straight. He even watches a lot of adult films. Second, I like my boss’s family very much. His family gives me the familial warmth that I never had. I can't bear to see them disgusted and disappointed in me. Finally, my love is my own business, and my boss’s feelings for me are like Schrodinger’s Cat. At times, I think he likes me too, but at others, I think I'm just a friend to him. The superposition of these scenarios is the reason behind my emotional ups and downs. I don't want to break what we already have; I can be his secretary for an eternity. I don’t want to know whether that cat is dead or alive. I’m a coward, so please don’t suggest marriage."

"It has been a long time since my boss had a stomachache. That's great! I won't have to worry about his health anymore. Recently, my vision is beginning to darken. I have to take some time to visit the hospital. I want to keep my body healthy so that I can help him when he is old."

"My boss is getting married."

"Some people's feelings are like the Higgs particle, one in a billion. It can only be chanced upon but not sought after. I thought our encounter would be akin to quantum entanglement, but who knew that it would be like the weak like the nuclear force attraction."

"My boss actually doesn't like her. He just finds her suitable. It would have been fine if I were a woman. At least I would've been able to speak about love openly. Heterosexuals can get a marriage certificate of nine yuans. To them, it's nothing big, but for me, it's a lifelong dream. However, I'm happy for my boss. I’m the best man in his marriage. I will stand next to him in the ceremony and secretly fantasize that I'm the one marrying him.”

"Besides, my boss gets another benefit by marrying a woman — he could have his own kids then. His kids can acknowledge me as their godfather. He the father and I the godfather... En, that's great."

"Thank you all for showing concern. Right now, my relationship with him is no longer the thing of priority. I have a tumor in my brain; it's benign and is currently pressing down on my nerves. Since the success rate of the surgery isn't high, I've decided to resign. I never imagined that I will lose my chances of becoming the best man and the godfather."

"At first, I thought I was very unlucky. But thinking about it a bit more, I found that I lived for seven more years because of my boss. My boss may never realize this, but seven years ago, he stopped me from committing suicide. When I was forced onto the table naked, I could see a window near me. It was the 37th floor, and I had decided the as soon as that man, who happened to be my current boss, leaves the room, I'll jump. I was ready to commit suicide, but my boss came back and took me away. So in the past, when you people called my boss a scumbag, I would disagree with you and even scold you people, at times. He is the best person in the entire world. Really. He always said that he was an emotionless capitalist, but he is still the best. If you refuse, I will scold you."

"Don't make a fuss; I will never tell my boss. He is about to get married; how can I tell him such an unlucky thing? What if he cried, that idiot boss of mine? How to say this... I can't bear to see him sad. And what if he found out and just didn't care about it? Then I'll be sad instead. Too frustrating, please let me go to Chengdu quietly. I wish him the best."

"When I was writing this post, I was gazing at the stars from the terrace. Starlights take hundreds of millions of years to reach earth. During this period, the stars themselves die and would be turned into space dust. So being able to see them is a fortune. What we see are stars that are thousands of years old, and maybe they are no longer even there, decayed and turned into space dust. Only their starlight proves that they once shone brightly. I'm happy that my boss got to see me shining brightly now that I'm about to fade. No one can get everything they desire in this world, so I do have regrets. But I'm not unhappy; I'm just reluctant."