C3 Three

I don't know what to call what I was feeling, pero parang may kung anong nasusunog sa loob ko. I didn't like what I see, that's what I am sure, kaya mabilis akong tumalikod at naglakad papunta sa bar.

"Vodka. Thanks." Nakangiting sabi ko sa bar tender.

Agad na sumunod sa likod ko sila Bree at Daena.

"Are you jealous? Oh my-"

"Shut up, Bree. Of course, not." Okay, nagseselos ba ako? Kaya ba ayoko nang nakita ko na may kasama syang babae?

But what I feel for him is just pure physical lust. Impossible na magselos ako. A few weeks ago, Zieg's on the top of my 'asshole' list and now, I crave for his touch. This is unbelievable.

"Sino yang kasama nya?" Daena asked Bree. Nasa kaliwa ko si Daen at nasa kanan ko naman si Bree. Nakaharap ako sa bar pero sila ay nakasandal sa counter at malamang na naka tingin pa rink ay Zieg at sa kasama nya.

"Selina. She worked in Dolce Maria as a stripper for three months. One month na syang nag resign."

"Okay, so sa Dolce Maria sila nagkakilala ni Zieg?" Parang gulat na tanong ni Daena.

"I don't know. Hindi ko naman sila nakita magkasama sa Dolce, and you know Zieg, once or twice a month lang naman sya pumunta doon."

Tumango tango si Daena. Humarap din sya sa bar at umorder ng lemon juice. Si Bree naman ay nanatili na sinusundan ng tingin si Zieg. I focused on the array of bottles in the bar para maiwasan ko lumingon at tumingin kay Zieg.

I am confused. Hindi dapat ako nakakaramdam ng ganito. It's just lust; it's not something romantical bullshit. Zieg's hot and good in bed, that's it.

"Hi Bree! Good to see you again!"

Napa straight ako ng upo nang may marinig akong boses ng babae. I'm not good with guessing pero ano ang odds na ang boses ng babaeng iyon ay galing kay Selina, na kasama ni Zieg?

"Hey, Selina!" Rinig kong sabi ni Bree. I wasn't moving, sumimsim ako sa baso ko at nagkunwari na may ibang iniisip.

"You look good! Kamusta?"

"I'm fine." Naramdaman ko na marahan akong siniko ni Bree. "This is Ayanna, and this is Daena. They've been with Dolce Maria too. Ladies, this is Selina."

Wala akong choice kung hindi humarap. Naunang makipag kamay si Daena. Pasikreto akong huminga ng malalim bago ko iabot ang kamay ko sa babae. Nasa likod nya si Zieg at ramdam ko ang mga mata nya na naka tingin sa akin.

"Nice meeting you guys. Mabuti na lang at sinabi sa akin ni Ziegy na pumunta." Nilingon nya si Zieg sa likod nya at mabilis akong tumalikod ulit at linagok ang natitirang laman ng vodka sa baso ko.

Ziegy? Seriously? Ugh.

"Oo nga pala, when did the two of you meet?" It's Daena.

"O-oo nga. I mean, I haven't seen the two of you talk in Dolce," Magiliw naman na sabi ni Bree.

Selina giggled. "We actually met-"

"We accidentally met almost two weeks ago and then I asked her to come with me here." Zieg cut what Selina's been saying.

Dahan dahan akong humarap sa kanila.

Nakita ko nang lingunin ni Selina si Zieg at ang parang lungkot na bumalot sa mukha ng babae.

"Ah, y-yeah." Pilit ang ngiti na sang ayon ni Selina.

Pasimpleng nagkatinginan sila Daena at Bree.

"P-pupunta muna ako sa bathroom. E-excuse me." Maya maya ay sabi ni Selina at mabilis na umalis sa harap namin.

Sinundan namin sya ng tingin.

Silenced engulfed the four of us hanggang ayain ni Bree si Daena para kumuha daw ng pagkain. Pinanlakihan ko sila ng mata pero nakangiti lang na umalis ang dalawa.

Tiningnan ko si Zieg sa harap ko. I've seen him naked, but he looked glorious just as much as he was fully clothed. He cleared his throat and adjusted his tie.

I bit my lower lip at dahan dahan na tumalikod sa kanya para humarap sa counter at umorder ng isa pang baso ng vodka. Akala ko ay umalis na sya, pero naramdaman ko na lang sya na tumabi sa akin.

"Scotch, please." He told the bar tender.

His body heat radiated into mine. Gusto kong lumayo sa kanya ngunit ayoko magmukhang umiiwas. We sorted it out when we talked the next morning after that one wild night.

"How are you?" Maya maya ay tanong nya. Parang nanuot ang boses nya sa katawan ko at bigla ay naging sensitive ako sa bawat salita na lumalabas sa bibig nya.

It took all of my will power not to look at his freaking handsome face. "Fine."

"Good."

Sabay na inabot sa amin ng bartender ang mga inumin naming dalawa. We both took a sip. Ninamnam ko ang init na hatid ng alak sa lalamunan ko pababa sa tyan ko.

"You look stunning tonight." Maya maya ay sabi nya ulit.

Pinigil ko ang mapangiti at muling sumimsim sa baso na hawak ko. "Thanks. You don't look bad yourself."

Silence. Hindi na muling sumagot si Zieg.

I wonder kung ano pa ang ginagawa nya dito.

Oh, maybe he's waiting for Selina. Fine.

"How's your business?"

I sighed and looked at him. "Zieg, look, you don't need to stick around if you have to go. Okay lang sa akin mag isa. Just.. wait for Selina to come out of the bathroom or talk to somebody else."

He blinked. "N-no, I actually want to stay and talk."

"Talk about what?" Kunot noo na tanong ko.

"I don't know, about something."

"No. Wala tayong kailangang pag usapan na something. Go." Inirapan ko sya at nilagok ang natitirang laman ng baso ko.

But he's still standing next to me. Naramdaman ko ang titig nya kahit pilit kong iniiwas ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"Ayanna, are you mad at me?"

Umiling iling ako. "No."

"Then why are you treating me like this? Akala ko ba okay na tayo?"

Igasped. "Okay? Okay saan?"

"Well, I apologized to you, right? Bago mo ako inalok ng wine sa housewarming party ni Bree? You told me it's in the past. So I don't see a reason kung bakit parang ayaw mo sa presence ko."

Napa awang ang labi ko. Seriously?

"Unbelievable. This has nothing to do with what happened a few years ago-"

"So it has got to do with happen recently?" All of a sudden there's a playing smirk in his lips.

Napakurap ako out of confusion. "What?"

Imbes na sumagot ay inangat nya ang kamay nya ay nang akmang hahawakan nya ako ay umiwas ako. No, I can't afford to be touched by Zieg ever again. Ilang araw akong hindi makapag concentrate kakaisip sa kanya at sa mga ginawa naming nang gabing 'yon.

Tumaas ang kilay nya nang mapansin ang pag iwas ko.

"Don't touch me, Zieg."

"Why not?" His stupid smirk's still on his lips.

My lips started to shiver. All of a sudden, parang bumalik kami noong gabing nasa kusina kami ng bagong bahay ni Bree. He's close, I can smell him, I can feel his body heat. Hindi ko mapigilan tingnan ang mga labi nya, hoping a little bit that I can taste it again.

Parang tumigil ang pag galaw ng mga tao sa paligid. All I can see is Zieg. His kissable lips, his dark brown eyes and his hand coming near again.

"Ziegy, I'm back."

Just three words from Selina and the magic seemed to get lost. She looked adoringly at Zieg at mabilis na inabrisiyete ang kamay nya sa kaliwang kamay ni Zieg as if telling me that Zieg's hers.

Agad akong umiwas ng tingin at humingi pa ng pangatlong baso ng vodka sa bartender.

I heard Zieg sighed. "Are you hungry yet?"

"Let's eat?"

Before I knew it, they're gone as they walked towards the buffet table and I drank the vodka in one gulped.

"I really, really need to get laid. Tonight." Desperada na sabi ko kay Bree.

The brief encounter I had with Zieg last night at the anniversary party left me wanting more. At kung dati na alam kong single sya ay hindi ko magawang lapitan sya, ano pa ngayon na may Selina na sya?

We just talked. Ni hindi nya ako nahawakan. I just saw him, smelled him and talked to him. It's not like we kissed or something para hanap hanapin ko sya. Hindi na naman ako naka tulog ng maayos pagkauwi ko dahil sya ang nasa isip ko.

It's really unfair how I am stupidly affected by him habang sya ay nagawa pang makipag date sa iba.

"Okay.. Why?" Nagtataka na tanong ni Bree. Binisita ko sya sa Dolce Maria the next night. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko at hindi ako mapakali.

Isa lang ang naisip ko na paraan. Maybe I really need another hot and wild sex para mawala na sa sistema ko si Zieg. I want him totally out of my system at nahihirapan ako na gawin 'yon.

"I can't stop thinking about Zieg, damn it!" I clenched my fist. Gigil na gigil ako sa sarili ko. Why can't I just forget the damn guy?

Bree paused for a moment. "Ziegfried Alonzo III?"

"Ziegfried freaking Alonzo III!" I said under my breathe.

"Okay bakit ngayon ko lang 'to nalaman?"

"Because I am in denial." Pag amin ko. Wala na akong choice. Kailangan kong may mapagsabihan or else sasabog na ako. I wanted to tell Daena pero ayoko na syang mamroblema tungkol sa sexlife ko.

"And you want to have sex with Zieg again? Tonight?" Confused pa rin na tanong ni Bree.

Umiling ako. "No! I mean, I want to get laid, but not with Zieg. You saw the guy, he's with that Selina girl." Pasalampak ako na naupo sa sofa. Kasalukuyan kaming nasa office ni Bree.

The woman has her own office! Mas malaki pa nga ata ang office nya sa mismong may ari. Halos si Bree na kasi ang all around manager, marketing at production head sa Dolce Maria.

Tumango tango si Bree. "And you're here because you want me to be your pimp or something?"

I groaned. "Whatever. Do you know a guy? I mean, alam ko naman na alam mo ang mga type ko. I just need a release. God I feel like a nympho." Frustrated na sabi ko.

Bree chuckled. "Zieg's your type"

"Okay, you're not helping."

Nakarinig kami ng kumakatok sa office ni Bree but we ignored it. Probably si Benjie iyon para sabihin na nagkaroon ng kaunting aberya or may bagong client.

"So saan mo ako iniexpect makaka kuha ng lalaking type mo ngayong gabi?" I got up from my seat and stood infront of Bree, blocking her eyes from the door.

"I don't know. I just want to have sex with someone!" I shouted.

Bree was about to say something pero napatigil sya at sumilip sa likod ko. Nakita ko ang pag ngisi ni Bree kaya napa tingin ako sa likod ko.

The door was open and Zieg's on the door.

Oh shit.

Mabilis na tumayo si Bree at lumapit kay Zieg. And here I am wishing na sana bumuka ang na ang lupa para kainin na lang ako sa sobrang kahihiyan. Zieg must have heard what I said.

I remained standing. Nag uusap si Bree at si Zieg pero hindi ko marinig dahil lumakas ang tunog ng sound sa main loungue nang bumukas ang pinto.

I clenched my fist.

"Aya, a new client arrived. I'll be back and we can talk about your problem." Hindi ko nakikita si Bree pero ramdam ko ang pang aasar sa boses nya.

"F-fine. C-close the door." Mahina at nanginginig na sabi ko. Hindi pa rin ako gumagalaw. Nang marinig ko na sumara na ang pinto ay naka hinga na ako ng maluwag.

Naglakad ako pabalik sa sofa at naupo, only to be shocked when I saw Zieg standing in front of the door.

Agad akong napa straight ng upo. Bumilis ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko.

"W-what are you d-doing here? L-lumabas na si B-bree.." Hindi ko mapigilan mag stutter. Zieg's in front of me, the very same man I want to fuck me but I was too damn prideful to tell him that I do.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.."

"Then get out."

"Ayanna.."

"Zieg, just go. Kung ano man ang narinig mo, well, it's my problem and I don't appreciate you prying." Umiwas ako ng tingin at nagsimulang mag relax.

"I'm not- Okay, fine. I want to tell you that I kept on thinking about you and that special night with you." Unti unti syang lumapit hanggang sa naupo sya sa kabilang dulo ng sofa.

Hindi pa rin ako tumitingin sa kanya.

"Ayanna, look at me." In a second, he's so close and I can almost feel him touching me.

I blinked, pero nagtama ang mga paningin naming dalawa.

"You said you liked what happened."

"S-so what?"

"Why do you want to have sex with.. someone?"

Iniwas ko ang mga mata ko. "I just feel like it."

Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman ko na dumampi ang daliri nya sa balikat ko at unti unting naglandas pababa sa braso ko. Naramdaman ko na tumaas ang mga balahibo ko but I still refuse to look at him.

"Ayanna.." He whispered.

He put his finger under my chin and made me look at him. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko nang makita ko ang mga mata nya. He was giving me the look that he gave me while he was on top of me on that fateful night.

Lust. Desire.

And it happened. His lips landed on me. His kisses were intoxicating. He's not just artistic with sexual postions but even his lips can do wonders enough. He tastes of mint with a hint of liquor.

Automatic na tumugon ako and the universe exploded. He parted my legs and positioned his self in between. My hands are on his soft and shiny hair caressing, urging him to do more.

He groaned when I bit his lower lip.

I have been dreaming of kissing him, touching him or having him inside me again that I can almost feel myself exploding.

He grunted as he started to dry hump me.

Napaliyad ako nang maramdaman ko na ang kahandaan nya. Oh how I wish we're bot naked now so he can already fuck me to oblivion. Iyon lang naman ang gusto kong mangyari.

Maybe after this, it will all be over. Maybe, Zieg is just like an alcohol, na sumobra ako sa consumption kaya nagkaroon ako ng hangover at ang tanging cure ay umulit pa ako para sa closure.

And if Zieg can really be compared to an alchohol, he must be really a good one because I get drunk just because of his touch and kisses.

Yeah, no matter how stupid it sound, umaasa pa rin ako na sana iyon nga ang explanation. Itinatak ko sa isip ko na samantalahin na ang pagkakataon. Wala na ang isip ko sa katotohanan na hindi ko alam ang mangyayari kung matapos na kami. We're in Bree's officce's couch, for Christ's sake!

Malamig sa office ni Bree pero para na naman akong lalagnatin dahil sa init na gustong lumabas mula sa loob ko. His hand travelled to my breast and he squeezed it. Makapal ang supt kong blouse pero parang balewala iyon dahil tumatagos ang init ng haplos ni Zieg.

Bumaba ang halik nya sa panga ko. And then his lips kissed my chin. He was kissing me everywhere as if he can't get enough of me.

He then pulled his self. He cupped my face and made me look into his eyes. We were still burning with desire at ramdam ko na ramdam nya rin iyon.

"Ayanna. Do you want this?" He asked in between his ragged breathe.

Tumango ako nang hindi iniiwas ang tingin sa kanya.

"I want you to tell me you want this and you are sure." Kasing intense ng titig nya ang mga salitang binibitawan nya.

Tumango ako ulit.

"I want you to say it. There's no going back after you say it." There's urgency in his voice.

Napalunok ako. "I.."

"Say it for me, please. " The need in his voice is sending waves into my already shaking body full of desire.

"I want this, Zieg. I want you and I am never been sure of anything else." Mahinang sabi ko.

In a second ay tumayo sya mula sa pagkaka dagan nya sa akin at hinila ako upang makatayo. Inayos nya ang damit ko at ang buhok ko at walang sabi sabi na hinila ako palabas sa opisina ni Bree nang walang sinasabi.