C13 Shared Memory

Amber’s POV:

The sensation of his gentle lips was something I never imagined I would contemplate, even in my wildest fantasies. His tongue explored every part of my mouth with insistence. His warm breath against mine sparked a newfound passion within me, one I had never experienced before.

Pushing my head closer to his chest, the vibrations of his groans and fast heartbeat didn’t go unnoticed by me. Becoming more aggressive, he pushed my back deeper into him and he rubbed his length on my stomach and I could feel it throb against me. I could feel myself becoming warm down there and I loved every bit of his touch on my body.

All this is foreign to me because never once has a man touched me in this way, but I wouldn’t say I lacked experience in that aspect. I have read a fair share of books to know exactly what’s up. And It is safe for me to say it is not overrated.

I loved how my body reacted to it and I wanted him to go further. I wanted to feel what it is to be a woman. But as quickly as it started, it was over. He pushed me away, like my touch burned him, his eyes dark and unreadable, leaving me reeling in the aftermath.

I stumbled backward, catching myself on the edge of the bed. “What?” I whispered, trying to catch my composure.

He turned away without glancing at me for the second time. “I have work to do” was all he said.

I stood there, stunned. How could he dismiss it like it never happened? It felt like my world was turned upside down. And him acting like it was no big deal made my stomach churn. Did he not like it? Or it was so obvious to him that I was inexperienced in that department? Was I that bad?

Feeling frustrated and hurt, I exited the room because staying there felt stifling. I slammed the door shut behind me. I needed time to clear my mind and to understand why he did what he did.

As I walked down the hallway in search of Martha, I ran into Xander. He was leaning against the wall, a knowing smile on his face. “Rough day”? he asked scratching the stubble on his chin.

“You could say that,” I muttered, not in the mood for small talk. Heck it, I was already cranky and I so wanted to blame it on my hormones and not the fact that I am horny and craving Zeph’s touch like an unleashed dog.

He pushed off the wall and fell into step beside me.

“Zef can be a real pain sometimes,” he said, his tone a little lighter. “But he means well…, in his own twisted way.”

I snorted. “Could have fooled me.”

We walked in silence and I wondered why he concluded that the Alpha was behind my sour mood. Could he smell my arousal from here or is the word “needy” spelled across my forehead? “Look, take it easy on yourself, ok? He’s got a lot on his plate.”

I stopped and turned to face him suddenly irritated, “And what about me? What about everything I’m tolerating and dealing with? He’s not the only one with problems, you know.” I needed to know these answers. Why am I always the one at the receiving end? No matter how much I try to be good. Why am I never good enough? Not a single soul can grant me the answers I need. sometimes you have to dish out what you are given because people cannot handle what they dish.

His expression softened. “I know. Believe me, I know. But he’s ……. He’s been through a lot. And he’s not used to letting people in.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I get it, ok? I do. But it’s just….. it’s hard. I didn’t ask for this. I feel so alone too most times. At least he has you by his side. But me, who do I have?” I avoided his eyes suddenly regretting why I shared too much. He on the other hand looked like he had questions he wanted to ask and I fear for that.

“What do you mean by you have no one.“ not able to hide his curiosity, he faced me.

“Look, you don’t get it. You won't get it. So please just let it go.”

“If you say so.” I felt relieved that he respected that fact that I do not want to talk about it. How can I tell him I am not what he sees on the surface but an abused broken doll? how can I tell him that I have scars littered around every part of my body?

He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “You’ve got Martha. And You’ve got me ok?”

His words brought a small, bittersweet smile to my lips. “Thanks, Xander. That means a lot to me.”

“I really meant when I said you could come to me for anything ok? Whenever life gets tough, just come to your best friend. I am always here for you.”

“Best friend?”

“ouch,” he placed his hands on his heart, feigning being hurt. “Are you rejecting me?”

“Neverrrrrr” I laughed and threw my hands around his neck. Xander and Martha must be the best thing that has ever happened to me since birth.

“So, tell me what are your favorite flowers?” he asked as we sat on the grass in the garden.

“Hmm…. Let’s see….” I racked through my brain thinking of the perfect answer to that question. “What are my favorite flowers?” I have never thought of it in my life before.

“Well, you look like a peonies type of person.

“Why so.”

“Because its beauty is a little bit complex and unique.”

“Oh, well I think I might’ve just discovered my favorite flowers.” We both busted out into laughter.

“So, --” I noticed his hesitation.

“So?”

” Never mind.”

“Ok, so you tell me, what is this pack like?”

“What is it like…. How?”

“Like how it operates, the members, how they cope with the Alpha, being……. their Alpha.”

“I certainly must say, he is a good leader and the pack is very much secure. In as much as they fear his wrath, they equally loved him to death.”

“Interesting..”

“Yes, here in Bloodlust pack, we all have each other’s back. No matter what. It is a home to all. “

“I’d love to see the other side of this town, visit Martha’s home. I bet they do not know me as a Luna.”

“I could give you a tour around to see. What do you think?”

“Oh, I would absolutely love it.” I smiled and decided now was the best time to ask what had been itching me to.

“Do you…. Erm.. If you don’t mind me asking. Do you have a mate?”

“Well…. I would say it’s... complicated.” He threw a pebble as he stared into a blank space.

“Sorry… you don’t have to say,…. if you feel uncomfortable.”

“No, It’s fine. I rejected her.”

“Oh” was all I could say. Being the busy that I am, I wanted to learn more but at the same time it would be rude to intrude. If he wanted me to know, he would’ve spoken.

“Well… it is what it is.”

“Yeah.” I shrugged.

We fell into a comfortable silence. Each of us, lost in thoughts. I was the first to break it.

“What Is your favorite memory.”

His tightly shut lips curled into a small smile. “it’s a simple one. I was about 11 years old, My family and I went on a picnic by the lake. It was a perfect day—sunny, with a gentle breeze. We played games, mum made the best sandwiches……….. and…”

Suddenly, he started laughing like a maniac and tried his best to catch his breath. I don’t know what made him react that way, but it was contaminating…, something about his laughter made me laugh. It was weird but I was happy, he got to share at least a wonderful memory with me.

“So.. at the time, Zeph…” More laughter…”I’m sorry” “So… Zeph was always boasting, like he was the big and mighty. He felt like he was the shit.”

His eyes sparkled as he revisited the moment. “Even at that age, I looked up to Zeph, he was my elder brother and my mentor and he knew it damn well. He always tried to prove himself right and never wanted to let me down….. till date.

So me being me, asked him to teach me how to swim. And he being him, wanted to prove himself even when he knew he didn’t know how to swim. “Well, to cut the story short, we both drowned, if it weren’t for my father keeping a close eye on us from afar, well….. you wouldn’t have known us. We would’ve been long gone. And definitely, I wouldn't get to share this memory with you.”

He smiled shaking his head” Even after receiving scoldings, he still insisted that his shoe weighed him down, and that caused us to drown. And the naïve me believed that was the case because I believed everything he told me. We fell sick and snuggled with mom and dad the whole night. It’s one of the few times I remember us all being genuinely happy.”

I smiled, touched by his honesty. “That sounds wonderful.”

“It was.”

He turned and faced me without leaving my eyes, he spoke again. “His Wolf is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on…….it ------.”

“The Fuck? I have been waiting on you for hours” With his hands shoved into his pockets, the Alpha angrily marched towards us. I was frozen in place when his eyes landed on mine, then slowly landed on my lips and lingered for a few seconds, then back to my eyes again.

“Shit, what says the time?” Xander hurriedly stood up and patted his pants and walked towards the Alpha.

“Amber, we’ll catch up later ok?”

“huh?? Uh uh?” I nodded subconsciously, staring at the Alpha’s back as they walked away.

………What the fuck was that?