C14 Nyx

After Xander left, I went to Martha. We talked about everything and nothing, sharing stories that felt intimate and comforting. I knew from the side looks she gave me that she had questions regarding my family but I don’t think I am ready to give her the answers. So, I did my best to avoid anything that would bring it up. I only told her whenever I was ready, I would run to her. By the time evening fell, I felt a sense of normalcy I hadn’t experienced in what felt like ages.

After she left, I was alone in my room, contemplating what book to pick up next, when there was a soft knock at the door. I opened it to find Xander standing there, a curious look in his eyes.

“What? obsessed much huh?” I teased.

He leaned casually against the doorframe. “How about a run? See town a bit?”

I hesitated, even after knowing the Alpha has a soft spot for him and he could never do wrong in his eyes. “Won’t the Alpha mind?”

His lips quirked into a smile. “Does he have a choice?”

“True that” There was something in his eyes, a kind of understanding that made me trust him fully. I don’t know what it is. I grabbed a shawl before following him out into the cool night air. The sky was clear, the moon hanging low and full, casting a glow over the landscape.

As we walked through the front yard, Xander’s curiosity got the best of him. “I’ve been meaning to ask,” he began, glancing at me. “Your wolf…... what’s she like? I’ve never felt her presence.”

His eyes were searching, almost like he already knew the answer. I felt a pang of sadness and impotency as I looked away.

“I don’t think I have one, … or ever will,” I confessed quietly. “I think I’m cursed.”

He stopped walking and turned to face me, his attention fully on me and expression serious. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve never shifted,” I said, feeling the weight of my admission. “I don’t feel her like others do. There’s nothing there. Just…… emptiness.”

He was silent for a moment, then he asked again. “Have you ever dreamt of her? Maybe seen her in some way?”

I thought back to my dreams, the ones that always left me feeling unsettled and yearning for something just out of reach. “There’s this dream I have,” I said slowly, trying to find the right words to say. “I see these piercing blue eyes. They feel…… familiar like I’ve known them all my life.”

His eyes lit up with something I cannot decipher... like hope? Maybe? “Tell me more.”

“It’s always the same,” I continued. “I’m in a forest, and these eyes are watching me. A reflection of mine. I never see the face of who they belong to, but I feel this connection like they’re trying to tell me something. Anytime I reached out, the figure disappeared.” I stopped there, not knowing if it would be proper to include the detail of me hearing a voice while I was imprisoned by the Alpha as a punishment. Maybe it was just a lucid dream.

He patted my head softly. “No, you’re not cursed. Maybe your wolf is just…. waiting for the right moment.”

I wanted to believe him, but years of doubts and insecurity were hard to shake off, just like that. “You think? It doesn’t feel like that,” I admitted.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, his touch warm and reassuring. “Come on,” he said, leading me to a clearer part of where the water fountain was fixed in place. it was very bright as all the street lights lightened up the entire place. “I want to show you something.”

I watched in awe as he began to shift, his body contorting and changing shape. It was mesmerizing to see the transformation, the way his muscles rippled and fur sprouted until a magnificent wolf and his forest eyes stood before me. His wolf was huge and beautiful, his coat a mix of grays and brown that shimmered in the moonlight. I was dumbfounded, the only thing I could do was swallow.

He howled loudly and nudged me gently, urging me to climb onto his back. I hesitated for a moment before swinging my leg over and settling in. He circled around the fountain at a steady pace, and I clung to his fur, feeling the power and grace of his movement.

My eyes shrank from the intensity of how loudly I was laughing. My stomach clenched and I was happy. Very, very happy. I cannot begin to describe it in words. Feeling the eyes of someone on us, I looked up to the window and my eyes landed on the Alpha, staring down at us with an unreadable expression.

Immediately, Xander zoomed off and raced into town not giving me a chance to brace myself. The wind whipped through my hair, and I felt a sense of freedom I hadn’t known I was missing. The town was a blur of lights and shadows, and I could hear the distant sound of life, music, laughter, and the hum of conversation.

Xander slowed down as we reached the outskirts of town, heading towards a secluded part of the forest. He came to a stop near a tranquil lake, the water fresh. I slid off his back and stood beside him, taking in the serene beauty of the scene.

He proceeded towards a rocky path that led to a den and I stood in place, waiting for him. I needed not to be told maybe he wanted to shift back.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he said, his voice now human again. He walked towards me and I noticed he had changed into a short, but his upper body was bare.

I nodded, feeling a sense of peace settle over me. “It is.”

“Nyx, my wolf.”

“It was nice meeting Nyx. I hope I will see more of him. He’s absolutely gorgeous.” I said all giddy, earning a smile from him.

“Likewise, he was pleased to meet you.” I come here very often to clear my head, that is why I keep spares.” He chuckled lightly, pointing to his shorts. and I returned the energy.

We sat by the lake, the silence between us comfortable. I felt a connection to him, he is a kindred spirit that heals wounds he didn’t inflict. I never for once think I could ever open up to someone, it is nice knowing you have someone that wants you for you.

“Do you think I’ll ever shift?” I asked after a while, my voice barely above a whisper.

He looked at me with full conviction. “I do. And when you do, it’ll be incredible.”

I want to believe him, to hold onto the hope he offered. We stayed by the lake until I was starting to feel drowsy. He shifted back into his wolf form, and I climbed onto Nyx once more. The ride back to the house was quieter.

When we arrived, I felt the exhaustion of the day weigh on my shoulders and I stroked his fur and said “Thank you.” to him. He purred and I made my way back to the room.

Not caring about anything else, I tossed the shawl aside and sprawled on the bed. Pulling the duvet up to my neck, I feel the drizzle of rain. Today was just perfect.

With a smile on my face, I embraced sleep with open arms and hoped that blue eyes would come to visit me tonight.

….But boy was I wrong……