C8 Chapter Eight: Almost Acceptance

"Let's have a toast everyone for my little sister, Rachelle," announced Storm as he raised his wine glass.

I smiled, doing the same as they raised their glasses. I was overwhelmed that Storm has to do this effort together with his wife, Casey. Very formal event but we talked informally. I love how we do this thing. Surely, I'm going to miss them once I am in the palace.

"Thank you everyone for doing these things to me. I'm going to miss you all," I said happily, looking at them one by one. "I'm going to miss Alpha Storm's soldiers I trained so well. Please protect our pack even if I am gone in this pack. Don't worry I'll be back. That's all."

Warm applause echoed in the kitchen. I smiled widely.

I put the wine glass down and went outside because of some fresh air. I am bothered because Claude is not around. I sighed in distress. Why do I have to worry about him, huh? I shook my head, shoving the thoughts deep inside of my head. I shouldn't be bothered. I should not worry. I don't need him in my life. My heart pricked when I said it. My wolf was hurt. She needs Claude and his wolf.

I tucked the strands of my hair when a cool breeze passed at me. I hugged myself, feeling so cold because of this dress I was wearing. I wasn't used to this dress. I am shivering in cold right now. To divert the coldness, I removed my heels and walked to the quiet village. The pack is in the packhouse. For now, I want to be alone. I need some time to think before I sleep.

I walked in my bare feet. I love the feeling of the grass tickled in my feet. When I reached the small pond where children used to play here, I sat in the large stone and started to the starry sky. Especially, I stared at the lovely moon.

I raised my hand as if I was touching the moon. I felt like we were connected in some way. I felt like most of me is can only find on the moon. I wish I can talk to the moon goddess so she can tell me where the pack I came from and who my parents were. I wonder what the moon goddess is doing right now. How did she guard us, all werewolves?

I put down my hand and stared at the pond. Some of the dishes are still swimming at night. I was lured looking at them. I hugged myself when I shivered in cold again as the breeze passed quietly.

I flinched when I felt a cloth draped in my shoulder. I turned my head instantly only to find it was Claude. My heart beats seeing him again. What we did earlier is the most mistake I've ever done. But I don't know but I don't feel any regrets in me.

"You should at least get some coat, my dear." Claude smiled and sat beside me.

"W-What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised to see him.

"I follow my mate as to where she is going," Claude said, looking straight into my eyes. His dark hazel orbs penetrate me.

I looked away, glaring again at the pond. I didn't respond to his statement. But deep inside my heart is jumping in joy together with my wolf. I frowned to hide it. Claude and I both fell silent. I was feeling awkward that he was beside me. But I was fully aware of his presence.

"Your brother's pack is vividly amazing," Claude started.

I nodded my head. "Yeah. You're right."

"I'm happy that Casey is living happily with him. Now, I could breathe in contentment. Because there's someone who will look after her and protect her." I could sense the happiness in his voice.

I turned my head to look at him. He was looking at the pond. I returned my head. "Storm is overprotective when it comes to me even though we're not blood-related. Did Casey tell you about that thing?" I asked, emphasizing Storm and I was not siblings.

"Yeah. Also, Storm explained about shooting you then he also told me that." He sighed. "I'm sorry if I acted that way."

"Hmm." I just nodded my head and remained silent. I'm glad he felt sorry for it.

"You knew he loves you being part of his family, right? You won't doubt any single thing, right?"

"I do know. And I am so blessed that his parents adopted me and Storm became my old brother." I smiled widely, reminiscing. "But I feel so different even though I still belong to this pack. My heart is longing for something. Apart from that, I want to search for everything about me. Storm helps me but he can't find any details for me." I sighed sadly. I was snapped back by everything I said. Immediately, I gawked at him only to find he was looking at me intently. "Don't assume that I'm letting you entering into my life now that I'm opening this up. Just forget what I said," I said defensively.

I felt my cheeks heat when he stared for so long into my eyes. I looked away, can't look at him, not for just seconds.

"I love everything about you." He murmured

My breath hitched. I could still hear it even though it is just a small whisper. My sensitive ears can hear his fast heartbeat. I'm sure Claude can hear mine. My heart is pounding so wild and I don't know why my heart has to react to his statements.

I chose to remain silent. I don't know what to say to him. I can't even move a little because he was staring at me again. I swear I couldn't take it. I lowered my head and played with my fingers instead.

"Can I ask you something, Rachelle?" he asked after a moment of silence between us.

I stopped myself not to look at him. "What is it?" I asked, my eyes glued to the fishes swimming in the pond.

"What pushes you as to not accepting me as your mate?" he asked after he remained silent. I think he was weighing his words.

I took a sigh because of his question. "Why do you have to be so curious about this? I'm sure my brother had already told you." I couldn't help but look at him now.

"I only want to hear it that is coming from you. I was wondering why you can't accept me or do the otherwise."

"Because I'm still confused." I averted my eyes.

"Confused about what?"

"Of this! You, meeting you unexpectedly! The fact I met you as my mate!" I said, exaggerating, spreading my hands.

I heard him chuckle. "The moment I saw your wolf form in the woods, I already know that you are my mate. I'm glad that I met you here. I thank the moon goddess that she pushed me through visiting my sister. I swear I didn't want to pay a visit to Casey. My father insisted at first but I declined. But then, I was curious about the living of my sister. Of course, I still care for her. I'm glad that I finally found my missing piece in my life."

"You know I can't still accept you, right?" I asked after it took me a long silence of his confession. I was overwhelmed with it.

Claude nodded his head. "I'm hurt because of that." I bit my lower lip when I felt something pricked in my heart and my eyes started to water.

'You can feel his feelings.' My wolf whispered. 'We are connected to him. He knows what we feel and we know what he feels.'

I nodded mentally. Right now, I could feel our strong bond with him.

I could see lots of emotions in his eyes. I want to touch his handsome face. Something is urging me to caress his face right now but I do not have the guts. I blinked so many times to stop myself that I was about to cry. Instead, I focused myself again on the pond.

We both fell to silence again. I fixed the coat that was on top of my shoulders when I shivered in cold.

"'Mind if I dance with you?"

I raised my glance when Claude is already standing and offering his hand to me. I cocked my brow. "What?" I said, stopping myself not to laugh. "Are you asking me to dance with you with no music at all?"

"Just dance with me and you'll know that we don't need any music at all. C'mon! Dance with me, milady." He bowed.

I laughed and accepted his hand. "Yes please." At the contact of our hands to each other, wild static electricity flowed in my skin. It sent a delirious feeling to my senses as he helped me to stand and took my hands, placing them on his shoulders.

I tried to act neutral and told myself not to react as he encircled his arms on my waist. Claude pulled me closer to his warm body. The coat on my shoulders fell but I didn't mind it. I was focused on Claude and the warmth of his. His hands on my waist sent shivers to me. I ignored the feeling and stared into his eyes.

"Now, I'm bored. It's better if we have music." I suggested with a hint of a joke.

Claude grinned. "I told you and I'm not going to repeat it. Now, let us both keep silent as we dance. You'll realize it to the soonest." He murmured to my ear.

I gulped as his hot breath fanned not just in my ear but also in my shoulder. Meanwhile, he started to sway me. I found it so boring at first. So, to make this exciting, I dare myself to look straight to his dark hazel orbs who are doing likewise to me. We just stared at each other's eyes while dancing with no music. The more I stared at him, the more my heart pounds every second. I am fully aware of the contact of our bodies. I am fully aware of him, not my surrounding.

When I couldn't take it to stare at him, I clung to his neck and leaned on his shoulder. I closed my eyes in submission as I hear the beating of his heart. That made Claude hug me tighter to his arms.

He was right. It felt good with no music. The singing of the crickets is the only I can hear. It was so peaceful when I was just beside him.

"I wish I can be with you like this," I said without thinking. But I knew to myself I said it intentionally.

"If you accept me wholeheartedly, we will always be like this," he whispered.

"Give me some time to think. My life is complicated."

"I'm afraid you are right, my dear."

"You do respect my decision, right?" I opened my eyes and looked at him.

Claude nodded his head. "I do."

I couldn't help to touch his face with my hand. My eyes started to pool. Why am I hurt not to see him when I return to the palace?

"I'm leaving you." Tears dropped in my cheeks when I couldn't take of stopping my emotions anymore. "I think I couldn't reach you anymore." A sob escaped from me.

He held my face, too. A sad expression was written on his eyes. "We are mates. The moon goddess will surely find a way to meet us someplace. We will be seeing each other, my dear sweetheart." He wiped the tears in my eyes.

I sobbed again. "But I'm hurt right now." I don't know why I am so honest with him. Maybe I really couldn't take it. I couldn't take to build barriers for him.

"I know. And so do I." I closed my eyes when he leaned his forehead to mine. I felt tears on his cheek as I was still holding his face.

"I can't stay with you."

"You're always in my heart."

"Please wait for me to think about this. I'm still confused about this mate thing. Give me a chance to understand this fully."

"I will. I promise."

I cried, even more, when Claude's lips descended on mine. I missed him back with so much passion. We were fully hurt. I can't take it. I can't afford this feeling.

"Rachelle.." he leaned again on my forehead. "I will miss you." I nodded my head in response. "Please do take care of yourself."

"I will, Claude," I murmured and cried silently.

We hugged each other as we consoled ourselves. I'm giving up on this feeling but I don't know if I'm ready to accept him.

"I love you," Claude murmured as I felt his hot tears fell on my shoulder.