C11 Chapter 11

Eliza Campos

Carla's question made me freeze for a few moments, this secret is kept under lock and key and only my family knows about it.

Only that I trust Carla a lot as if I have known her for many years. That is why I decided to tell her everything.

- It is not easy, it is a delicate matter, but, yes, I can tell you," I answer. What do you think?

- That's fine," she answers, "Now let's go back to the meeting room, Mr. Manuel was very worried about you and even tried to follow you, but Heloise wouldn't let him.

Thank God he didn't come when you were crying.

- Thank God he didn't come - I said - I'm only going back because I still have to work, but I didn't want to talk to him.

- I understand your friend - Carla says, holding my hand in a sign of support.

Then we went to the meeting room and as we walked down the hallway I noticed people looking at me and pointing their fingers blatantly at me, probably they have already found out that my father is one of the owners of the company.

We quickly got to the meeting room and as I was already wanting to get that attention off of me, I took the opportunity to speak.

- I apologize for what happened, I needed to pull myself together, and we can continue with the meeting.

Pedro looks intensely in my direction.

- You can stay calm, Eliza," he says, "We can continue with the meeting.

I could see that Peter couldn't look away from me, because he was so different, but Thomas didn't look away either, nor did he disguise it.

The meeting then continues for a few more minutes and when it is over, Manuel asks to speak to me alone.

- Eliza, stay a little longer, I need to talk to you," he asks after everyone leaves the room.

Even though I don't like it, I think it's better to talk to him, I want to hear all the excuses he can give.

- Sure - I say - What do you want?

- Lizz, don't treat me like this," he says, his eyes watering, "I know I have no right to ask you anything, but, please, listen to me, that's all I ask.

When Manuel asks me like this, I think it's better to listen to what he has to say.

- You may speak - I speak.

Manuel takes a deep breath before speaking.

- I don't even have an apology to make," he says, "I separated from your mother, not from you. I regret it too much.

- Yes, you don't know how much I suffered with this, that you left home when I needed you the most without giving any explanation to either of us - I say, feeling my eyes getting watery - And I feel totally to blame for everything that happened.

I felt guilty, I started using drugs when I was just eighteen years old, I had been doing some success in my writing career for a while, since I started in this field when I was a child, making children's books, and then changed my niche to books about overcoming when I got addicted.

I remember once I overheard my parents arguing about how I was ruining my life, according to her, I wouldn't make money for myself, I wouldn't have a career plan. The problem was not the job, but the drugs. She was very sexist about it all.

I was tired of the way things were going when I went out with my friends to go a club, I got to know drugs for the first time.

When my parents announced the separation, my father left soon after, causing my addiction to worsen drastically as I felt guilty about it all.

I remember that I even tried to stop using when I got pregnant, but when I lost my daughter, I found myself in the pit when I was abandoned by Pietro.

- Eliza, it wasn't your fault," he says, trying to take my hands, but I immediately try to pull away. I've never been a very present father. When you got addicted to drugs, I was already separated from your mother, but I was afraid of the reaction of the two of you. After your addiction, I lost my ground, but, listen, it's not your fault.

- The drugs finished me off, more than I already was," I say.

- Now we need to talk about a more delicate matter, the separation from your mother.

Now was the time I needed to clarify.

- Did you betray my mother? - I question.

- I did, it doesn't justify it, but it was at a time when we were fighting, and I had a relapse with an ex-girlfriend, I told your mother when it happened, and when I found out she was pregnant," he reveals.

- So my mother knew about the cheating and my sister? - I ask.

- Yes, - He answers - She forgave me, our marriage still lasted for more than 20 years after that episode, and when all this happened your mother had just found out she was pregnant with you and the flame of love rekindled again, but, it was not the same - He speaks.

- Why didn't it work out? - I question.

- Because it wasn't like before, but, afterward, everything became monotonous, the fights got worse and worse, that's why we decided to separate - He answers.

I just wanted to understand, because my mother made me believe that everything was my fault, from her separation from my father to her frustrations that nothing worked out.

- But why didn't she tell me any of this? She made me believe that I was guilty, and this made me sink deeper and deeper into drugs.

Now I was the frustrated one, I still can't believe what my mother could do.

- I asked her not to tell you anything," he says.

Manuel says, putting his hands on his head, and swinging from side to side.

- Why? - I ask.

- It was because we were trying to resume our marriage, I ended up assuming paternity of Heloise, but, I had nothing more to do with her mother, only when you had that problem, and I ended up getting closer to her and fell in love again and decided to separate from her mother - He says.

- I didn't see that coming," I say.

- My daughter needed to talk to you to clear things up," he says, coming closer to me and running one of his hands over my face, and since I was powerless, I couldn't help myself, so I let him do the caressing, "I miss hearing you call me Dad so much.

Looking at Manuel's face, I realized that he was telling the truth. It seemed that the one who was really to blame in this story was my mother.

- Yes, we needed to talk," I said, "Manuel, it's been a long time since I've seen you, so calling you father is something that I never imagined myself doing again, and it will take me some time to be able to do it.

I haven't seen him for more than five years, it was something I would need to get used to again, even more so knowing that he is one of the owners of the company I work for.

- All right, my dear, I was wondering if I could hug you. - Manuel asks me, leaving me a little flat.

However, I don't see the harm in giving in a little.

- All right - I answer and Manuel comes closer and closer to me until there is no more space between us, he puts his arms around my shoulders and finally gives me a very tight hug, of course, I am embarrassed, but I feel such a good sensation in this hug, affection, attention, and especially comfort.

After our hug, Manuel turns in my direction and speaks.

- I loved seeing you again my daughter," he says, "What time are you leaving?

He looks towards the clock in the meeting room, and I realize that it was already time to leave.

- Well, I just noticed that my workday is over. - I answer.

- Do you want a ride? - My father asks.

- No need, I am going out with Carla today, we are going to a restaurant, she overheard me talking to Giulia, I need to clarify some things to her - I answer, my father already knows that Giulia is my miracle therapist.

- All right, then, see you tomorrow," he says, hugging me again and kissing me on my cheek.

However, as I leave the meeting room, I end up bumping into someone.