C6 Isabella's POV

Isabella's POV

You should forgo food tonight because your hips are already a bit big, and you don't want your thighs to follow suit.

I nod and sigh as I sink deeper into the tub. Dorothy, although she was correct, I didn't feel good about it. Meal skipping usually makes me cranky.

She keeps running her fingers through my hair as she prepares me for tonight's graduation ceremony, and a voice of approval comes from behind her.

After the night in the clearing one week prior, I realized I was running out of time. I couldn't stop pondering what all of this meant. I was hesitant, but mostly I was perplexed.

To help me make sense of all this confusing information, I tried calling Jonathan, but he wasn't returning my calls.

In the background of my mind, his absence has also been a source of worry for me. He usually wasn't gone for so long, especially since he hadn't returned any of my calls.

There was a problem, and I could feel it.

However, I was unable to bring myself to turn on Mr. Gaius. He understood what was best for me, so perhaps it was for the best that he rejected the idea of attending New York University.

"I recall going to my graduation ceremony with Felix." I grin as I hug my legs close to me and look down into the bath's bubbles as Dorothy chuckles behind me.

The ceremony's night was quite spectacular. I can hear the smile in her voice when she breathes. It provided me with her faltering as a tight silence descended around us.

Jonathan, we both know what transpired that evening!

We hardly ever discussed Jonathan. I was frequently more furious than I put on because I couldn't comprehend how they could so carelessly overlook Jonathan, their own son.

I hesitate before speaking, but Dorothy's voice's hint of grief makes me think otherwise. "Do you still miss him?" I venture a question as I divert my attention by running my fingers through the water nearby.

Before she breaks the silence, I'm met with more silence. "It's irrelevant." My shoulders strain as her tone, which is now sharper than before, snaps. "We must stop discussing such traitors." You ought to be more wise.

Perhaps it's the long-brewing resentment or the fact that I've been worrying out of my mind while she relaxes and doesn't seem to care about him, but I push. However, he is your son.

My head tilts so I can look directly into her enraged eyes as her hands tighten in my hair and she jerkily pulls it back. "The moment he questioned our lord, Mr. Gaius, and publicly humiliated this family, he ceased to be my son."

She continues to scrub my shoulders with the stiff-bristled brush after letting go of her hold on my hair, and I recoil at the animosity and loathing that are oozing from her tone. We are fortunate that Mr. Gaius still treats us kindly and with respect. You ought to be really appreciative. She reprimands in a precise tone.

You are, Dorothy.

She hums unimpressed and smacks her lip in a way that lets me know she doesn't trust me. "If you were, you wouldn't be talking about things that are so terrible. Isabella, you need to immediately purge these evil thoughts from your mind.

I resist the desire to sigh in exasperation. With her, arguing was pointless. She never got it, and occasionally I had the impression that she only liked me when I did what she wanted.

I realized I had to shift the subject quickly to other things from getting more strained, so I chose something less tense and just blurted it out.

"Does having sex hurt?"

I was aware of the expectations for tonight. Although I was supposed to devote myself to Antonio, I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

Dorothy stares at me from behind. "Young woman," please refrain from using such nasty language. What's wrong with you? She slapped the side of my upper arm that was above the water and yelled.

I smirk and am relieved that she cannot see me since I know she will also have something to say about that. I rephrase my statement in a monotone voice. The act of coitus: "Does it hurt?"

As she continues to scrub my flesh roughly, Dorothy sighs. I would much rather get ready myself, but Dorothy is a stickler for detail, and she always picks on me.

Your reluctance is not unusual. The majority of females are hesitant, but The Outpost's future is more crucial. To stop yourself, all you have to do is push those ideas away.

I immediately regretted my question because she was not very helpful. Even though it was simpler to say than to accomplish, I held back. I briefly considered telling Dorothy that I wouldn't be carrying Antonio's children, but I decided against it.

I've always been instructed by Mr. Gaius to keep things private between the two of us, and I believe this is another such instance.

Whatever happens tonight, it will happen. I want to sigh as she continues because once she starts giving lectures, there is no stopping her.

It's pointless to worry yourself to death about it, sweetheart. If you just listen to Antonio and make him happy, you'll feel happy too. In any case, it's a privilege to be a contributor to The Outpost. She says this as she rounds the bathtub and turns to face me while standing up and clapping her hands.

"Now, how you're going to fit into that dress of yours is what you should be concerned about." She mutters, casting a disapproving glance down at me, then spins on her heels and enters my bedroom while muttering to herself.

I don't want to listen, so I spread out and sink deeper into the tub before holding my breath and lowering my body completely below the water's surface.

It was the only moment of calm I've had lately. The world would halt around me, the water would smother out all of my thoughts and emotions, and I would have some time to myself.

I had grown weary of breathing, talking, worrying, and thinking.

I thus come to a stop, and, for as long as I can hold my breath, I let the emptiness that comes with being underwater take over.

But occasionally, even those few minutes are insufficient.

I am eager for this to end. Elderly people partying is very tacky.

As we continue to move to the music, Antonio begins to slur.