C40

Cheng Hanlong's internship in Shandong Province was nothing more than a group of classmates traveling together. Cheng Hanlong felt bored after only playing for a few days, so he might as well go home. He wondered how Cheng Cheng was doing at home alone. He didn't seem to see him calling, nor did he see any text messages. If they had been by his side in normal times, he would have started nagging. Why was it so quiet this time? Cheng Hanlong took out his cellphone and looked at it many times. Usually, when he is busy, his hair is randomly sent. Now that he wants to see it, he doesn't want to send it anymore. Cheng Hanlong was a bit stuffy as he sat in front of the window in a daze.

This kind of young rebellious child would always take a wrong turn if he was not careful. Cheng Hanlong had read for so many years and came up with an experience. The more honest people seemed to have more bad intentions, the heavier their thoughts. Therefore, he had to constantly supervise and guide them. Thinking about this, Cheng Hanlong felt that he had an extra sense of pride and responsibility as a brother. With the motivation of his thoughts, Cheng Hanlong picked up the phone again.

At this moment, Cheng Cheng was at home cooking. He was working with Du Gong in the kitchen, so he didn't hear the phone at all.

Cheng Hanlong looked at his watch. It was already 7 o'clock, what was Cheng Cheng doing at home? Cheng Hanlong dialed Cheng Cheng's cell phone again. Cheng Cheng's cell phone was in his pocket. The moment he heard the vibration, he asked Du Gong to help him take out the phone. His own hands were covered with noodles.

"Your brother." After Du Gong said that, Cheng Cheng didn't care about any disgrace anymore and quickly took the phone over.

"Hello …" "Brother!"

"What are you doing out so late? "Don't think you can go wild just because I'm not home." Cheng Hanlong immediately said in a bad tone.

"I'm at home, bro …" Cheng Cheng wanted to cry when he heard him. He wanted to say that he missed him, but he was afraid that he would be called useless, so he swallowed his words.

"Why aren't you answering the phone at home? Besides, why is it so noisy when you're alone at home? You are now more and more capable of deceiving people. " Cheng Hanlong added a more serious tone.

Cheng Cheng was so anxious that he started to stomp his feet, but Du Gong was still humming along, causing the plate to clink noisily. I don't, I don't! "Beside him is Brother Du, if you're not here, he often comes over to eat. If you don't believe me, you can ask him." Cheng Cheng handed the phone to Du Gong, begging for his explanation.

"It's me, it's Du Gong …" How can you speak? What do you mean I'm the one who led him astray? You're the worst person in the world. He didn't get any worse with you by his side. I'm just outside with him, what's the matter with you? I brought him out into the open! If you have the ability, come back now! "

Cheng Cheng's face became more and more ugly. He snatched the phone away from Du Gong and said into the phone, "Brother, I didn't. Don't listen to him, I'm very obedient. I went home after school for so many days and didn't go anywhere …"

Cheng Hanlong was silent for a long time on the other end of the phone. The hand that Cheng Cheng used to hold the phone became tighter and tighter, while all the noodles stuck in his hand were donated to the phone. Brother, are you still there? You don't want to hear me out... "I didn't lie to you …"

Cheng Hanlong heard Cheng Cheng's voice getting softer and softer and knew that he was feeling wronged again. The dignity that he had just built immediately collapsed and collapsed. Cheng Hanlong relaxed his tone and said into the phone, "I know you didn't go out. Why didn't you call me at home every day? With how stupid you are, what will happen if you get tricked away? I'm not worried about you, I'm just afraid that I'll have to go and redeem you. "

"I'm afraid of causing trouble for you. Didn't you say that you'd call less often if you had nothing else to do?"

Did I say that? Cheng Hanlong thought about it carefully. He couldn't remember clearly what day it was.

"Brother …" When will you be back? "It's been two weeks, I …"

"You what?" Cheng Hanlong pretended that he didn't know because he wanted to hear him say it.

"I... "I don't even know who I'm cooking for, whether I sleep well or not …" Cheng Cheng whispered.

"Give me some!" I'm right next to you, are you still sleeping? " Du Gong shouted on the side.

"Isn't there someone praising you? If he gave me the spot to sleep, why would I go back? I won't cause any more trouble for you two. "

Cheng Hanlong was weird on the phone, but he wasn't really angry. We're brothers, so it doesn't matter if we sleep in his place. At worst, we can just go back and get Cheng Cheng to wash the sheets!" He was just bored and wanted to tease Cheng Cheng. Cheng Cheng's emotions were easily affected by him, and sometimes, he just wanted to see Cheng Cheng's worry and feel satisfied. Cheng Hanlong thought to himself, "Is this psychopathic?

"No …" Brother! I... I really miss you coming back! "I …" Cheng Hanlong guessed that Cheng Cheng's face was red again.

"Don't count me in. You're done. Let's talk after you think about it!" "I'll hang up first. I'll deal with you when I get home!" Cheng Hanlong did not hesitate and hung up the phone. His mood immediately became a lot better.

The sky outside was getting dark, so Cheng Hanlong didn't plan to waste time here. He would book a ticket tonight and fly back tomorrow. He had not been back for over ten days, so he really wanted to go back! He interrupted the teacher and asked for a leave of absence, saying that there was something important at home. After making up his mind, Cheng Hanlong started to pack up.

After Cheng Cheng hung up the phone, he pouted unhappily. He didn't say anything when Du Gong touched him, so he just moved to the side to hide. Du Gong knew that this child was in an awkward situation again. Every time something happened to Cheng Hanlong, Cheng Cheng would become narrow-minded and sensitive. Du Gong carefully walked behind Cheng Cheng, and abruptly grabbed his arm to stop him from moving, chuckling.

"Little thing, you even learned how to be angry?" Du Gong looked at Cheng Cheng without moving at all.

"I'm not that stingy." Cheng Cheng said gloomily.

"Then why are you unhappy?" Du Gong asked.

"My brother isn't back yet, and still hangs up on me. It's all because of you, you promised not to tell him that you slept here, then my brother won't believe me." Cheng Cheng turned his head away and did not look at him.

"Aiyo!" I forgot about that! " Du Gong slapped his forehead, only then did he remember that it really happened.

Cheng Cheng took a deep breath, "Hmph!"

"You're still saying that you're not angry? Your face is about to turn into a tomato. Are you stupid? Your brother is also angry, he's just teasing you. "Are you serious? If you keep on acting like this, I'm going to be sick of you." Du Gong immediately released Cheng Cheng. When Cheng Cheng heard this, he realized that he had started to get involved again. He couldn't control his own random thoughts, and he even involved other people. He saw Du Gong, who was quietly playing with the green peppers, slowly walking over.

"Brother Du, I didn't do it on purpose, so don't mind me, just treat me like a lunatic!"

Du Gong fiercely raised his head, tightly grabbed Cheng Cheng's hand, and rubbed Cheng Cheng's face off. Then he suddenly laughed out loud and smeared his hand over Cheng Cheng's face. Only then did Cheng Cheng come to his senses. The two of them made a ruckus again in the kitchen as they furiously swept their eyes over Du Gong.

In the evening, Cheng Cheng picked up the diary and opened it. There was a period of time when the book was blank, and during that time, he was always afraid that Cheng Hanlong would find out, so he didn't write it. He flipped through the notebook. More than 400 days have passed since 2004. Each page was about his pure emotions. The struggles, feelings, self-blame, and other pain he had gone through these past two years were all for Cheng Hanlong. He only had this space to lick his wounds. If one day he was unable to confess even to himself, Cheng Cheng felt that he would really break down.

June 24, 2005

I thought I had become strong, that I could take on a lot of things. But all these days I've found out that I'm still so fragile that I can't do anything about it, and I've been thinking about him so much that I can't sleep alone at night. And I can't accept that. I don't even have that bit of control.

Sometimes I also think, just like this, like like like, no big deal. But the thought of him keeping me by his side all these years made me feel like I was sullying him with my own heart. He took care of me, he was my brother, and I had an abnormal feeling about him. Every time I was hugged by him at night, I hated myself.

Cheng Cheng, you really don't know what's good for you!

Cheng Cheng, you're really not satisfied!

Every day I would curse myself a thousand times in a deserted corner and pray that my brother wouldn't chase me away if he found out. If he scolded me, I would listen. I could endure anything, but I couldn't bear to leave him.

I've been trying to get away from him for so long, but today I heard his voice and I realized that I had failed completely. The day my life began was not the day I was born, but the day I really had a home. From that day on, I had a brother in my life who never left me. I can't imagine how I would have lived the rest of my life without him.

Brother, I'm sorry. Mother, you were so kind to me, but I failed to live up to your trust in me. I wasn't able to take care of my brother, and I even shamelessly fell in love with him, and I was unable to extricate myself. But you can rest assured that I will keep this secret well and will not bring any trouble to those I love.

And finally, Brother, I love you!

Cheng Cheng put down his diary and walked towards his bed. Du Gong had already fallen into a deep slumber, snoring loudly. Cheng Cheng sat at the head of the bed watching him. Cheng Hanlong never snored and slept very lightly, so Cheng Cheng always woke up at night worrying that he was still there.

He gently pulled up the blanket, looked at the wall in the dark night, and the chandelier that still glowed with light. Cheng Hanlong's words, word by word, carefully remembered and tasted everything. He always wanted to find the slightest trace of love. Even though it was just an extravagant hope, he couldn't help but collect these sweet little things. He told himself again and again that it was a mistake, but he couldn't stop himself from indulging himself every night. He told himself that this was the last time, that he wouldn't do it again, but the next night, the same thing would happen.