C4 In The Beginning

“Why now, Mandy?” I asked

lowly. “It’s going to break me down,” I expressed. Sadness drove my voice and

my heart became heavy with the weight of pain.

“You have to tell me,

Nadia. I’m your best friend, you shouldn’t hide it from me, please,” she

begged. Her eyes glowed innocently, forcing a smile on my face. I sighed and

adjusted on the couch again. I nodded.

“It all started about

nine years ago. I was still fourteen years old then,” I began. “I was a fan of

Bollywood. No day passed without me getting stuck in front of the TV, watching

my favorite Bollywood movie. A new season movie began and there he was. I was

captivated by his good looks as well as the role he played in the movie. I

couldn’t express the joy that filled my heart and the imagination that struck

my head. Seeing him come closer to his fellow female actors twisted my stomach.

My feelings remained a mystery but I knew it was something special and I needed

to hold on to it. On one fateful day, I took hold of my mummy’s little phone.

It was the first time I was going on Facebook and I was super excited about it.

I added many friends, all from other countries, especially India. He was the

first person I added. All others who accepted my request meant nothing to me.

I only waited for him to accept my friend request. The feeling of chatting with

him kept me imagining the impossible all night. I was over the moon the next

day when I discovered he accepted my friend request. And when he replied to my

message, my stomach grew butterflies and crimson flushed my face,” I explained.

Looking at Amanda, she had a smile on her face.

“So cute,” she drawled

like a swooning teenager.

“During our chats, I

asked him if I could call him Sidd since his name was Siddharth and he said, “No,

only my colleagues in the industry call me that.” I didn’t know if I should be

angry or okay with it? And the stupid network made the message repeat itself

and I bet he got angry. I imagined him saying the second “no” angrily. Despite

his arrogant sound, I still cherished every one of his texts and I kept

imagining how I would feel if I met him in reality. Though I allowed it to be

just an imagination I never stopped thinking about it. One beautiful day

which was his birthday, he asked for my picture. My stomach churned and my

heart clenched because I couldn’t send it. The small phone I was using didn’t

send pictures. But I promised to send it on his next birthday. That night, I

couldn’t help but wonder if I was obsessed or infatuated with him. His voice

echoed in my head and his image flicked across my sleep. And watching his movies,

my heart kept skipping beats,” I paused, and took a deep breath.

“What happened then?”

Amanda asked curiously.

“The phone got damaged

and I lost contact with him,” as the words slipped my tongue, a lump formed in

my throat and tears welled up in my eyes.

“How did you meet him

again then?” Amanda queried. I smiled, sniffed, and continued in flashback.

***

After losing contact with

Sidd, I held on to the hope of reaching India one day. I imagined myself acting

with him. Acting with the Indians has always been my dream. There were so many

hindrances but my little hope kept me going.

6 years later. I was

already in 3

400 level in the

university. No matter how much attraction I got from male folks in the

university, I knew my heart belonged somewhere. I yearned for Sidd. I gnawed for

him till every other man seemed no longer perfect for me. But how do I get his

attention? How can I make a movie star know that I am madly in love with him? It

almost sounded impossible till I got an idea.

Over the weekend, I

prepared myself to look like a heartbroken lady. I decided to practice my

acting for social media. Getting a little famous isn’t a bad idea. I took a

deep breath as the video app began loading to start. Imagining I won’t ever

have Sidd if I don’t do this, tears streamed down my cheeks.

“If you are watching this

video, know that I can’t keep it to myself anymore,” I began and sniffed. “If

If you have ever loved someone so dearly then he betrayed you, you will know

exactly how I feel right now. He deflowered me. He claimed to love me and he

took advantage of me,” I continued crying. I wiped my face with my white

handkerchief, sniffed, and faced the screen again. “What we had was beautiful,

but deceitful. Sidd deceived me, he made me believe he truly loved me and I

allowed him in. How could you, Sidd? I loved and trusted you with all my heart,

you betrayed my love and left me broken,” I stated in hot tears and ended the

video. I smiled at my accomplishment and wiped my face. I wanted to see people’s

reactions before continuing my story. The Instagram video went super viral and I got

more than 50 comments in three hours. Some were comforting me, the others were

asking who he was. They wanted to see him. Second-semester exams in my final

year were around the corner, I needed to read but I was determined to continue

the social media fallacy news. I was back in front of the camera the following

day. I comported myself this time to answer questions arising from my previous

post. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

“I just wanted to let out

my pain to you guys. I don’t want to share who he is but questions needed to be

answered and Sidd deserves whatever he will get from this,” I started and

groaned the last sentence like an angry woman. “Just a year ago, I went

backpacking in India and by chance, I bumped into him. That was how it all

began. I thought it was something beautiful, something extraordinary. I thought

I found true love, I thought he was different from other men and I allowed

myself to be fooled by him. I wanted to be drowned in his nobility. Little did

I know I was entering the cage of a wolf in sheep's clothing. Naïve and gullible,

I allowed him to savor my body. Despite the handwriting on the wall, and his constant

refusal to take pictures with me, I still didn’t think far into abandonment.

Every time, he claimed he didn’t want his fans to know he was in a relationship

just yet and he kept refusing me to take pictures with him,” I poured out and

tears trickled down my cheeks. “Heaven knows I loved you, Sidd. It was hard to

believe you used and dumped me simply because you are a movie star and I am

just a naïve girl. You broke thousands of your promises. I hate you, Sidd. I

hate you for deflowering me. I hate you for deceiving me and I so much hate you

for blocking me on all your contacts. I won’t forgive you, Sidd. I can’t ever

forgive you for what you did to me,” I sobbed. I wiped my tears and sniffed. “I

won’t hide you from anyone, Sidd. Everyone deserves to know the truth about who

you truly are behind the big screen,” I stated and showed his picture on my

other phone to the camera. With that, I ended the video.

Sidd’s POV

Holding a cup of my daily

black coffee, I descended downstairs, running my fingers through my hair. My

usual thing. It seemed my hair always messed up if I didn’t run my fingers

through it. The morning was beautiful and I am super glad to be resting fully

today. I sipped the coffee as I landed in the living room. Everyone decided to

go to the Minister’s daughter’s wedding today. Well, since I have lots of

schedules to attend to during the weekdays, I decided to treat myself to a rest

today. I walked to the couch, picking up the TV’s remote to increase the volume of

the news. Freshening up, and having a cup of coffee while watching my favorite news

channel was my morning routine. I sat on the couch and sipped my drink once

more. I ignored the endless messages beeping on my phone and increased the

volume of the TV.

“Good morning and welcome

to NDTV. Today’s stories include the heart-touching story of a girl from Nigeria

and our heroic movie star, Siddharth Kaur,” the anchorwoman presented and I

choked on my coffee. Was she referring to my namesake or me? I focused on the

screen. “The interest of the internet has been aroused by the viral videos of a

lady named Nadia Hilbert from Nigeria. Following her story, the said lady

acclaimed to once be in a relationship with our movie star, Siddharth Kaur,”

the anchorwoman reported, showing a picture of Nadia. The video began

playing. I adjusted on the couch. Heat overpowered the air conditioner and I

began sweating.

“It was beautiful. I

thought I found my heartthrob,” Nadia began. She was seated on the floor in her

room, looking a whole mess of herself. Her hair was ruffled like a damaged

bird’s nest accumulated in a hip. “When he never wanted to take pictures with

me, I thought he was only keeping us secret for the meantime. I was too dumb and

timid to have believed him. I allowed him to have his way with me. He deflowered

me!” she sobbed, sniffed, and inhaled sharply. “I wish to keep it a secret but

he needed to know how much he has hurt me. Wherever you are, Siddharth Kaur, I

am sending this to you and I won’t stop…” the video ended.

“What the hell is this?”

I exclaimed, jerking up from the couch.

“From the broken lady’s

video, she presented the picture of our movie star, Siddharth Kaur,” the

anchorwoman added, showing my image boldly on the screen.

“What?!” I yelled,

throwing the cup of coffee to the floor and messing up the living room. One of

the housekeepers, Chhaya flitted to the living room. “Clean up this bloody

mess!” I groaned and Chhaya ran back to the kitchen to get her cleaning tools.

“Who the hell is that woman? What was she talking about?” I lamented. “Argh!” I

grunted, tramping upstairs.