C5 Chapter 4

At Jessy's House

Jessy went into her dad's study room. Joseph was sitting on the sofa. When Jessy came in, she asked her to sit on the sofa and passed her a guidebook of No.1 College.

"Check this out, Jessy," said Joseph

"No.1 college at F country? Why are you giving this to me, dad? I don't want to study abroad", said Jessy with a displeased look.

"It's your wish, Jessy. Am not forcing you. It's your mother's dream to study in that college. Take your time and think, Jessy", said Joseph

"Mom's wish ???" asked Jessy with a surprised face.

"Yes, Jessy. When your mom was 18 years old, she completed her schooling. No.1 college is a top-rated college and is ranked 1st at that time. Your mom's dream was to study in that college. But her parents didn't allow her to study further and we got married", said Joseph.

On hearing the story of her mother, Jessy was surprised and she asked, "Mom got married when she was 18 years ?? What's your age at that time, dad ?"

"Yes, Jessy. At that time, we lived in our native village. In our native village, the age for the marriage of a girl is 18 years. I got married to your mother at 21 years" said Joseph.

"Your Mom really wants to continue her studies even after marriage, but my mom didn't allow it so that she couldn't learn further and you came into our life. So it was just like an unachievable dream for your mother" said Joseph with a sad face when he recalled about his late wife.

"Ok, dad. But I really don't want to study abroad. I want to be with you, John and my friends. I will think about it, dad" said Jessy.

Joseph nodded his head and was in deep thoughts about his wife. Jessy left the room with lots of thoughts. When she reached the living room, there was no one except John.

"Your friends left since they want to celebrate with their families," said John while seeing Jessy.

Jessy nodded her head and went to her room. She lay on the bed, picked her family photo from the table, and looked at her mom's picture.

"I really don't want to leave, mom. I hope you can understand. It will be difficult for me to pursue my higher studies in a foreign country with a different culture. They even speak a different language and above all, if I go there, I will miss dad and John very badly. So I don't want to go mom" said Jessy with an upset face.

"How you felt when your dream doesn't come true mom? Did you felt very sad?" asked Jessy and suddenly an idea popped into her head. She ran to her dad's study room.

"Dad, can I see mom's diary?" asked Jessy.

"Sure. It's on that shelf. You can take it" said Joseph while pointing to the shelf which is at the rightmost corner of his study.

Jessy searched through the shelf and found a very old diary. She picked it and went to her room.

She lay on her bed and started reading her Mom's diary.

Some of the happy moments of Jessy's mom were written in it. Her mom's handwriting was perfect with sharp strokes. Jessy skimmed through the pages with a smile. All the happy moments of her mom's school days were written in her mom's diary.

Maria's Diary

Today I checked No.1 college, it seems to be a popular college in country F. Next year I want to pursue my higher studies there and I will be the top student in my college.

No.1 College, wait for me for a year. Next year I will come there and rock the college!!!!

Jessy read those lines from her mom's diary with a smile. "It seems mom was like a drama queen when she was a schoolgirl just like Annie," said Jessy with a smile and turned the page.

The next page in her mom's diary is about Jessy's Birth and her development month-wise. There is no content about her marriage or about what happened after her 12th-grade exam.

Jessy skimmed through all the remaining pages, which are about her and John's childhood days memories.

She completed reading the entire diary and wondered about her mom's 12th-grade result. At the end of the diary there seem to be pages stuck together.

Jessy slowly tore those pages and found that six pages are pasted together.

She started reading the contents and within few minutes, she finished reading the page with tearful eyes. Those 6 pages are some of the sad moments in her mom's life. Maria ranked 1st in her entire country and applied for No.1 college at Country F. But her dad didn't allow her to go to country F for her entrance examination and she was forced to marry Joseph. Maria still didn't lost her hope and thought she could pursue higher studies but was rejected by her mother-in-law and even Joseph didn't help her in that situation. With no other option, Maria gave up her dream and continued her life as a Homemaker.

Jessy controlled her emotions. Some of the lines in her mom's diary "It hurts to give up on my dream", "I shouldn't have a dream, it's useless" made it hard for her to control her emotions.

Jessy went back to her dad's room to place the journal back on the shelf. "Have you read the last few pages in the diary?" asked Joesph with a sad face.

"Yes, Dad", said Jessy with lots of thoughts and emotions.

She was thinking about why her dad didn't support her mom to pursue higher studies which obviously made her angry.

"I am a selfish guy, Jessy", Joseph started speaking.

"I want to live a happy life with your mom and settle in my life. I don't want Maria to go abroad for her higher studies. I want her to be with me; that's the reason I didn't support her and sided with my mother. But when I read this diary after your mom's death, I realized how selfish I was at that time", said Joseph with a breaking voice.

"Maria wished to fly high and she had all the qualifications to do that. Instead of encouraging her, I just broke her wings and made her stay with me to take care of my family. It would have been very hard on her, but I didn't think about it. Even now am being selfish. Maria's wish is not to make your study abroad. She just wished to encourage you to achieve your dreams. Since I didn't help her with her dreams, I just want to make you satisfy her dreams. There is no limit for my selfishness right?? " said Joseph with a sarcastic smile.

Jessy hugged her dad and said, "Don't worry Dad. Don't blame yourself for all the past incidents. Past is past. Mom would have forgiven you since she was happy with us as a family".

"I want to stay alone, Jessy. You can go back to your room. Thanks for your comfort" said Joseph while hugging back her daughter.

"Ok, Dad," said Jessy and left the room. Before leaving she looked at her sad-looking dad, wiped her tears, and left the room.

Chapter 4 ends.