C16 Chapter 16

I had to go in with him, he drove me home, he was nice, nobody was ever nice to me.

His name was Geoffrey, he came by the house after that day and we bonded, and soon we became very good friends.

He was my first kiss, my first love, my first boyfriend, he was my first.

He felt like the father I never had, his love felt like a big block that had filled a piece in me, his love had completed me, the attention made me feel special, I was happy, for once, I was noticed, for who I was.

I fell for him, he was five years older than me, he cared for me, gave me things, all kinds of gifts, too many things, now that I'm older I know it was all just love bombing, he didn't really love me but I didn't know that, all I knew was his lies and his fake.

If I could tell my teenage self something, I would tell her to continue to do whatever she did, it wasn't her fault, nothing was ever her fault, it wasn't her fault that she grew up in a vile world, it wasn't her fault that she was left without money, or love and it wasn't her fault that she went in search of it with everything she had, I would tell her that everything was meant to be and that she should continue being herself, in a little while, she would grow up to become dashingly beautiful, in a little while she would be the assistant of one of the biggest tech company in London, in a little while she would be able to afford luxurious cars and houses and clothes, and her dream, she would become her dream self, but first she had to go through all the suffering because from suffering and pain are forged the most beautiful of souls.

Geoffrey was everything I could ever dream of then, he attended an ivy league school, he owned a successful business, he was very wealthy, he and his parents, they could take care of me, I gave him myself, I was his, I completely gave my whole being out to him, he became my priority, because without him I would be nothing, so I stuck to him like a lynch pin, I was not letting him go.

After I had graduated, We dated for a year and after that,

We got married, I and him.

That was when I started to notice the changes, if my dad had loved me, I would know what love was, I wouldn't be so insecure and desperate as to run into the arms of someone that merely stretched his.

When Geoffrey changed, everything became unbearable, h cheated on me, and he didn't hide that fact, he cursed at me, he used to beat me and... And I couldn't do anything, I was so helpless, I couldn't go to anybody for help.

I was just eighteen when we got married. I didn't have friends, his parents didn't like me one bit, he didn't have siblings,

Except that he had a friend, Thomas, I felt that, I felt that Thomas could talk him out of his nonsense, I trusted that Thomas would save me from my husband.

One day, he came home, with rage and anger, he walked up to me and pulled me by my hair, and the very image of my dad pulling my mom's hair in our kitchen flashed before my eyes but tears stung my eyes so bad the image vanished in seconds.

He was angry at me that I had told Thomas, he was going to beat me, I knew it, the nonsense went over and over again, but then I couldn't do it no more, I wanted out, real bad.

I wrung away from him and I had ran to the bathroom, I ran so fast because my life literally depended on it. I sat there for a while, but I didn't hear him coming, I looked through the key hole to check if I could see anything outside the door, I could see but I couldn't see him.

The fact that he wasn't banging on the door made me more scared, he could be planning something heavier.

I was thinking of jumping through the window when I heard the first knock, it was Geoffrey, he said I had slept with Thomas and that I was a cheat and I was all sort of evil.

I didn't talk back, not because I had done anything with Thomas, Thomas wasn't even that type of a person, I kept quiet because I wanted to create the impression that I had done it, because he's hurt me so much, I just wanted to hurt him, in any way, I've been yearning to hurt him and I just found a way and I wouldn't let it slip.

He kicked the door so hard that I knew that when the door had given in and let him into the bathroom, I would be dead, so I remembered that I was going to jump from the bathroom, it was a one storey house, we were on the top floor and I was scared of heights, I didn't know what to do.

I broke the glass with a metal bowl, and I slipped through, I did it.

I wanted to survive so hard that I dropped down from that building and I ran, I didn't take anything with me, I left just liie that.

I didn't know I had cut my wrist while slipping through the window, I didn't find out until later.

I was bleeding but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop, I found my way though, I worked my way up, doing the only thing I know how to do, I knew how to survive through the shadow of someone else, I don't mind not being in the spotlight.

I earned my degree, and now, I'm here, i used to manage another company but I know I'll love it here, so I switched up and now the scar reminds me of how strong of a person I am.