C9 Let me introduce myself

There’s nothing to do, but I might meditate later. The spirits aren’t going away though, they go again, and again with shit that they say I need to know but yet they say “Oh no we can’t tell you because it’s a secret!” Bullshit, is the only thing I can comment on it.

“Hey Mikey!” Dad says as he just answered the phone after all day of trying to get ahold of him.

“What’s up Dad? I’ve been trying to call you all day.” I said I was just annoyed. Just not compared to how I feel towards spirit.

“Yeah, I saw your calls. I'm actually busy talking to a few friends of mine. Can you call me later? like in an hour?” Dad asked.

“Yeah, talk to you later." I said then hung up the phone and sat down at my desk with my laptop on and ready to be used, like a dancer except there’s no leather thong, no worry over protection and no money to spend on it. Laughing over my thoughts I start writing.

“Run Susanne, run!” Shouted Aaron as I stood there in fear in front of the werewolf that was ready to strike me down and kill me within a split second--”

“I see you like your standard werewolves and vampires like ‘Twilight’.” A voice chimed in. Ok now I’m pissed. One: Spirit is back to pick a fight with and two: The fact that I’m gonna hear the same shit from them as always.

“I’m not like the other sweetheart. Please trust me.” Said the voice.

“Why should I believe you? And by the way “Twilight sucks ass as I’ve watched the movies, or at least most of them.” The spirit laughed.

“Ha, well I’ll never bring that movie series up again.”

“Well thanks, I appreciate your thinking.” I say.

“But Michael, I came to just talk.”

“Talk about what?” I asked.

“Michael, I knew you for a long time and I know that the others are trying to manipulate you to be played like a puppet by their very hands but I’m glad you became strong enough to fight against it after trying to trust them. I believe in you and for you to find the will to be able to fight for a better future by living in this very present moment. Do you understand?” Asked the voice. I guess he’s alright to talk to, he seems nice and polite.

“Can you tell me your name?” I asked.

“My name is Akashore Bloodstone. It’s nice to meet you, or at least talk to you.” He said. His name, it’s so...familiar.

“How come you’re coming into my current life now? Are you here to protect me or something?” I asked. Then came light forming into the shape of a human. Then the light turned into a young man. He wore business clothing, he had fair skin and white blonde hair. His eyes were bright amber and full of life.

“You’re so…” I said but became at a loss of words.

“I get that expression a lot.” Akashore said, laughing a bit. I began to blush over his words. The smile on his face for me was his best feature. And then his heart, he sounds like an extremely loving, kind and considerate person, like he’s always so good to work with and talk to.

“Is it a bad thing?” I asked as I giggled a bit. Akashore then gave out a sweet pie chuckle. “No, it’s not. But is me calling you a very beautiful young man a bad thing?” He asked. My heart then stopped at a halt. He called me, “Beautiful”?

“No, it’s fine.” I replied. Akashore then walked over and sat on the seat that was right next to me.

“Would it be ok if we talked? Anything you want to talk to me about, I shall sit and listen.” Akashore said as he looked into my hazel eyes. He’s amazing and yet I had just met him not even five minutes ago.

“Sure, why not?”

*******

It’s been a week and me and Akashore have been talking nonstop. I think I’ve fallen fast and hard. But does he feel the same way?

“How’s studying going for you?” I sigh in irritation.

“I’ve been having a hard time with it. I have to be ready or I’ll never get to college.” I say feeling depressed. Akashore then patted my shoulder.

“I have faith in you. I’ll give you all of the luck and support that you need for the test.” He said smiling. Looking at him, I feel joy that he’s supporting me in my dreams as a dear friend. But--

“Mary, Dad’s on the phone!” Said Mom from outside the door.

“I’ll talk to you later Michael.” Akashore said then vanished. Standing up, I opened the door.

“Thanks.” I said to Mom then closed the door and sat back down at my desk.

“Hey Dad.” I said as I tried to look away from my studies. Man, I wish math would be easier.

“Hiya Mikey!” Dad said. The reason for him calling me that is because I had put my foot down early this month and convinced him to just call me Mike, he just slips every now and then. At least he tries.

“How are you?” Dad asked. Groaning out so loud, he can tell I’m just not in a good mood.

“Is Eve bothering you?”

“No it’s just studying is what’s getting to me. I want to get into college sometime in this life.” I explained.

“Take your time, college is right around the corner.”

Lying on my side on the futon, I just stared at Akashore reading one of his books that he takes as he travels back and forth from the other side and back here. Closing the book, he walks over and he then knelt down and smiled with love.

“You need to stop worrying about the test, trust in yourself and you’ll succeed.” Looking at him, I feel a mixture of both agreement, and doubt of his words. Who know’s on where destiny is taking me to.

“Hey Mike, how’s things going?” asked Terry as I sat down beside him in the house.

“Hell, just nonstop hell.” I answer. Looking outside the living room window, I feel nothing more but depression. Eve, Mom, everyone, they don’t understand my feelings. If I had a choice of dying and being called Mary for the rest of my life, I’d rather die. Screw heaven, screw hell. All I want to be acknowledged as a guy, not a girl.

“Mike, you can talk to me about anything. If it’s about your family, maybe we can do a group discussion on this issue. Would you consider that?” asked Terry.

“I highly doubt they’ll say yes, but I’ll try.”

“Why do you want to hold a family meeting?” Asked Mom who was sitting by her computer playing a game on my facebook account.

“Because I feel like you don’t respect me. I may not have a dick, but I’m still a guy on the inside. You’ll never understand unless someone besides me can explain this to you.”

“I’m not getting into this Mary.”

“You never do!” I snapped at her. Getting up, I then left the living room. I just hid in my room and began to write again to vent my emotions in my stories.

“Mike, it’ll be ok.” Said Akashore. For the past three years of coming out as a transgender, I felt two emotions; Happiness and depression. I was happy because I was finally free and depressed because almost one-hundred percent of the people I know online, in person and by the other side of the veil call me by my legal name.

“I hate this, why can’t they see that it kills me inside whenever they call me ‘Mary’?” I asked as I cried lying on my futon. Akashore knelt down on the floor beside me and ran his piano-like fingers through my dark chocolate brown hair. I have extreme trust issues.

“It kills me inside too. Watching you cry like this, it pains me that I’m not able to defend you about how you feel when it comes to their inconsideration. There is a favor that I need you to do for me.” Akashore then kissed me.

“Don’t give up, you’ll find happiness in some way or another.” My eyes widened from those words.

“What?” The only words that splat out from my mouth. Akashore chuckled and looked into my eyes, I felt so flustered that I just looked away. Why is it when I talk to him, I feel like a completely different person?

Lying in bed, I remember last night when Akashore kissed me. I placed my index finger on my lips. I guess in the end, me asking myself if Akashore feels the same way as I do for him was obvious.

“Good morning Mikey!” Called out Dad from outside my bedroom door.

“Good morning Dad.” I said as I got out of my bed and walked outside. Walking over to him, and as usual; McDonalds breakfast.

“I got waffles in the freezer, you didn’t need to get a sandwich for me.” I said groaning as I walked to the doorway of the living room and looked at Mom.

“Mom, it’s 12:45 PM.” I said then walked to one of the kitchen chairs, then sat down in front of the TV and turned on the news.

“Your Mother’s not going to wake up, just leave her be.” Dad explained as he plopped down in one of the nearby chairs and opened up the bag and grabbed one of the sandwiches.

“Can I ask you a question Dad?” I asked. Dad looked at me and smiled.

“You can ask away.” Dad replied. Taking a long and deep breath, I finally let it out.

“Mom’s been giving me a hard time with my name, she says that she’ll only call me Mike once I change my legal name. I’m just really upset about it and Terry wants to know if we could do something like a group session. Mom said no.” I explained that I was just ready to cry like last night.

“If you want, I’ll be happy enough to be a part of the group session. Besides you’re my favorite kid.” Looking at him I smile. At least I have one person in my family that will be there and understand my feelings in this situation.

“Mike, don’t give up hope.” Said Akashore who I had caught from right behind Dad. Akashore smiled and looked at Dad.

“If I was a living, breathing man, I’d be happy to have time with you, your friends and your family. Don’t forget that.”