C15 15

“Jyeon? Are you okay?” I reach up for his face to turn him to me, catching his jaw in my fingers and pulling him down. My insides are aching, and genuine fear is gripping my soul as I try to inspect him for wounds. My body shakes all over as adrenalin kicks in, and he pulls me with him away from the doors at speed.

“Are you hurt? Did anything hit you? Are you cut anywhere?” Jyeon slices through my question with his own. Pulling me into the elevator and letting go of me before sliding his hands over my head, brushing back my hair, searching through my scalp with his fingertips, and frantically searching over my body and face, for any damage. His eyes narrow, and his breathing labors as he pulls my jacket open and skims every inch of my shoulders and neck, and face to see if I have even a tiny scratch. His warm, firm hands skim my skin, leaving a burning path wherever they touch, even through the fabric of my clothes.

“Jyeon?” I utter again, breathless and overcome with emotion as I too search out his face and body with my eyes and can’t see anything obvious. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to him.

“Are you hurt? Is there pain anywhere?” his tone is serious and urgent, his face tense, and he turns me around and does the same thing with his hands on my back. Skimming my body and pulling my clothes around to check me over. I can only stand her like a limp puppet, too shocked to react.

“What just happened?” I utter breathlessly as he turns me back, and I’m rendered mute as he yanks me into his arms and hugs me tight. Bruising me with the force of his crushing hold as he puts everything into holding me and I can feel his labored heaving of breath, his heart pounding erratically in his chest. Exhaling with relief, and almost breaks my bones with the intensity of what he’s doing.

“You scared the shit out of me. What the hell were you doing going out there alone to face them? Why would you confront them? Are you stupid? Do you know how hurt you could have gotten if I hadn’t pulled up and seen what was coming? Jesus Christ, Sohla. You can’t be that careless.” He pushes me away from him, shoves my jacket fully off my shoulders, and hauls it off. Seemingly unconvinced he’s done a thorough job of checking me, and I place a hand on his arm to stop him. My jacket hangs by my elbows, and I pull it back on.

“Nothing hit me. Only you got hit. Jyeon, please, you have to be hurt. Let me look.” My voice wavers, and my eyes mist over as I try to push his jacket off, but he catches my hands and holds them both tight. Pushing them together and gripping me.

“I’m fine. My clothes are thick enough that I might have a few bruises, but nothing else, and nothing hit my head. I’m fine, Sohla. Trust me. I would tell you if it was otherwise.” He lifts his palms and does a little mocking turn as if to prove there isn’t a scratch or a cut on him. My hand flies to my mouth as I smother a sob that slips out involuntarily, with utter relief that he’s okay, and my eyes fill with moisture.

“We’re okay. You’re okay. We’re safe, and it’s over.” He catches me by the shoulders, pulls me back against him, hugging me close with less force, and starts rubbing my back and shoulders to calm me down. Wrapping me up in his arms and nuzzling my face against his neck. The way he always used to when I was an upset kid. I’m in a state of numbness and disbelief, and I’m trembling all over, feeling like my legs might give out. The door pings and slides open to alert us that we are on our top floor once more.

“Come on. You need to calm down.” He slides his arm around my shoulder and pulls me with him into the foyer. Keeping me tight against him and still rubs his fingers in my hair, above my right ear, so my face is pressed against his shoulder. Soothing me, calming me in ways he always did.

“Two strong coffees, make one extra sweet, and head of security to my office right now.” He barks at whatever assistant is standing there, and my vision is too blurry even to tell. I cling to him, unable to clear the chaos of my brain, and It’s like I’m transported back to the feeling of helpless dependency when I lost my parents. He’s in charge, he’s taking control of me, and I trust that I’m safe as long as he’s got me.

“Yoonie’s waiting for me. He might come looking….. they might…….” I blabber it out, words falling from my mouth, and my voice is trembling like crazy. Suddenly afraid of him getting caught down there in that too.

“I got it.” He guides me into the office door and turns his head back to whoever is there. “Call my brother and tell him I have Sohla here, not to come back until security tells him it’s safe. Let him know what’s going on.” He sounds way more in control of his emotions than I, and I sink into his hold.

“Yes, sir,” Dee replies, and her voice fades away with the office noises as his door swings shut and we’re inside in the silence of his space. Suddenly cocooned in peace and tranquillity that’s so very rare between us.

“Take this off and sit.” He shrugs me out of my jacket and maneuvers me onto his couch, making me feel even more pathetic for flaking out like this and losing my shit over something that others would deem as nothing. I don’t know why it’s hit me so bad. Maybe because I was never hit as a kid, and I’ve never come up against violence this way.

Jyeon lifts my feet one by one and slides my heels off gently, cradling my legs carefully. Making me blink up at him in confusion, he starts rubbing my ice-cold feet in his hands as he perches on the coffee table in front of me. It’s like it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to do. I can’t remember the last time he initiated any kind of intimate touch that wasn’t for show.

“You always get cold when you’ve had a shock. Your feet are like ice.” He nods to the throw on my left, and I lean and reach for it obediently and hand it to him. Without hesitation, he gently lays my feet in his lap, takes it, opens it up to spread across me, and then gazes at me while exhaling heavily. Under a furry blanket facing one another, this is so surreal. I feel like I’m in another time and dimension and a place where everything wrong between us temporarily doesn’t exist. This is who I miss, who I’ve longed for.

“This is going to make headlines. Protest turns violent, and our security is out there fighting with ex-employees. We have a lot of bullshit fallout to come from this, so we better be prepared.” Jyeon doesn’t seem phased at all by what’s just happened, and I stare at him in silent disbelief, wondering if he’s even human. We were just attacked in front of our building, and his brain immediately goes to damage control of the company’s reputation. That’s usually my line, my next move.

All I can think about is what he did, how he protected me, and how’s he sat here comforting and holding my legs and taking care of me. It’s like going back four years to when he did try to love me as a husband, and it breaks my heart to experience it once again like a bittersweet poison rising inside my soul. I know I should say something, anything. Even a thank you, but the words die in my throat, and all I can force out are the ungrateful and stupid empty phrases I know he’s expecting from the cold me.

“Let’s start writing a press release and get on top of this before it escalates.”