C3 An eye for an eye

Anya’s story

Lately, I've been very busy with Sandra's wedding. And her insistence on coming to the ceremony still didn't seem like a good idea.

"Sandra Ulieva invited you and you are hesitant whether to go? And in addition, there is the possibility of the divine Alexei Stepanov to come? Do you know who this man is?" Katia seemed a little annoyed when she asked me that.

"Just because I know who he is I avoid going, I don't hesitate to go. If I hesitated, as you say, it would mean that somewhere inside me there would linger the slightest hope to appear around there, and this is not the case" I was not very convincing with this explanation. The truth was, I wanted to go. I don't know how to explain this attraction to that man. I was aware that he was part of a dangerous world with a lot of risks, but this time I didn't seem to care. What didn't give me peace was the feeling that his name seemed very familiar to me. Then it struck me like lightning in a merciless storm. It hit me from all sides with a direct destination in my soul.

"Excuse me a little, Katia" and without thinking too much I got in my Pontiac, and without saying a word I went home. I had bought a small apartment in the center of St. Petersburg with a few savings. And I needed to be close to my clients and their cartels. I rushed to the door of the apartment directly to my room in the drawer of the mirror table. No wonder it seemed familiar to me. A wave of rage flooded my body reading Stepanov's name on a piece of paper that I was hiding from myself. Her handwriting stirred my whole past. I collapsed on the edge of the bed, my eyes in hot tears.

I always wanted that pain to go away, but it never went away, on the contrary, it got worse every day, as did my insatiable thirst for revenge. My mouth was dry and my thoughts were dark and cold. Katia knew my whole story and always tried to gather my shattered pieces of my soul and to make me give up my consuming revenge. She told me that nothing good would come out of all this revenge and that in the end only I would be the one to suffer. With the emptiness in my soul, refusing anything nice to get hold of my heart, I would end up becoming a ghost, a shadow of what I was now. I suddenly woke up from the trance just as a call from Katia entered my cell phone.

"Hey, girl, I thought you wouldn't answer me. Where are you? What happened?” Her jerky voice betrayed a slight fear but probably somewhere deep down she knew exactly what had happened. That's because I mentioned the name Stepanov to her at some point.

"I'm fine, I'm coming back to the office. Please wait for me! ”

I was still trying to hide my pain; I had done it successfully so far. But I had not met Alexei Stepanov. Everything changed in a cursed second. My peace has disappeared and already the demon in me kept telling me that it was mandatory to go to the ceremony of Sandra Ulieva.

As soon as I entered the office, two comfortable arms embraced me. I gave up and let lose the pain and tears that threatened to flood my whole being. I couldn't bear the sighs that kept me from talking, but I abandoned myself into her arms and slowly everything returned to a bearable normal. A normal that I was used to and that was just a facade of my true feelings. If I didn't have that mask, that life-saving shell, I couldn't survive the despair of being left alone.

"Katia, it's him, I'm sure it is him!" I could barely speak a few words between sighs. I looked at my friend insistently because I knew her thoughts, I knew what she was going to tell me. I knew she would pull me back from that abyss. It wasn't in her first attempt, but each time I fell back, much deeper.

"Anya, please, let's not rush to the conclusions. Just because the name matches ...! ” her attempts were timid precisely because she was aware that what she was saying had no basis. This coincidence cannot be so damn accurate.

"Even if you don't believe what you're saying, Katia. Just think about it, the same Mafia world, the same name I dreamed of night after night, can't be a coincidence. What did they do wrong to pay with their lives? ” and this thought was the one that had been grinding inside me for so many years. In my heart, there was no room for forgiveness or for doing things right. No one has a word to say in front of them. Their power exceeded any human limit and I abandoned this side a long time ago, that of being human. I have turned into a demonic beast, eager for revenge and I will carry it out even if it is the last thing I do.

"Okay, maybe it's a little ... true what you say, but so much hatred doesn't do you any good. Life is so beautiful… ”

"A little true? Do you hear yourself? You've been with me since this nightmare began. You slept so many nights next to me calming me down when I woke up screaming and now you're coming and telling me it's a coincidence and it's a little true? Do you know something? I don't need anyone to help me to carry out my plans. I promised I wouldn't get you into this mess and I will keep my promise "

"Anya…" her muffled voice told me that I had reached a sensitive point. Maybe I was too drastic but that was the deal. From the moment I would find him, I would start living only to eliminate him. Alone.

"Are you going with me to choose a dress for the ceremony?", I was getting closer and closer to fulfilling my mission. Maybe deep down inside me, I knew I would pay for what I was going to do but I didn't care. I knew his men would not stand crossed arms and do anything.

"Anya, we're changing our deal!" as unexpected as her comment seemed to me, it sounded dangerous too. Would I allow such a thing?

"I know what you mean and I don't agree. Under no circumstances will I accept that your life is in danger. You have nothing to do with this…” and I immediately realized that what I had said would affect her. I didn't want it to sound like that… I took a step back looking at her upset and surprised face.

"I have nothing to do with this?" Think again Anya, I have everything to do with this. You are my friend and I will stay with you until the end. I will not leave you alone in this! ”

"Forgive me, Katia, that's not what I meant. You know very well that I do not want to expose you. I agreed to accompany me on this journey as moral support just so I don't lose my mind. You did a wonderful job but from here to expose you to danger? I can't accept that! ”

"Hey, you keep telling me we have this deal. Where is it written that I will step back after you find the one who sentenced you to this hell? I don't remember signing anything and believe me my memory never deceives me. " The more arguments she brought me, the more I realized that this sweet woman in my life was more than a friend to me. And she wouldn't back down from anything, not even from entering a dangerous world just so she wouldn't leave me alone.

"Okay, then, we will make this an eye for an eye!”