C12 12

I get out of bed and head to the closet nervously.

I wear denim jeans with a sweatshirt and trainers, since it's cold at night, and I put my hair in a ponytail. The sound of a message enters my cell phone and I guess that must be Scott sending me the location of his house.

I approach the bed and strategically place some pillows so that covered with the sheet, they look like my silhouette sleeping. Just in case my mother shows up. If she works in the movies, why not give it a try?

I pick up my cell phone and dial Jason's number, when several rings pass, she answers.

-Jason, I need you to do me a favor- I hear a yawn from his side- You trust me, right?

-Lailah, what's up? You are scaring me...

-I need you to take me somewhere, but please don't ask questions. -If Jason finds out that I'm going at this hour to the apartment of the best friend of the boy who killed our best friend, who is drunk, it is clear that he would never agree to take me.

-Now?- He asks confused- You know what hours it is, right?

-Yes, come as quickly as possible. Do you have your parents' car available?

- Sure but ...- I don't let him finish because I know he's going to make an excuse.

-Park on the corner, my mother can't know anything about this- Jason makes a sound of assent.

-I hope it's important. -I can see the concern in his voice.

-I hope so too- I say almost in a whisper before hanging up.

I open my bedroom window and sit on the edge, then look down and can't help but get a little dizzy. Why am I such an idiot as to listen to Scott? I imagine Azael is downstairs and he is going to catch me when he jumps out and I start counting. Three, two, one...

I push myself and repress the urge to scream, I feel an instant emptiness inside me that becomes the sensation of my feet touching the ground in a matter of seconds, followed by my ass.

Ouch.

I get up and look out the window. It wasn't that high either. I stealthily walk to the corner of my street and minutes later, Jason appears with the silver car of his parents.

-Hello. - I greet him as soon as he enters. He shoots me a look that I don't like at all. I know you want explanations.- I'll explain it to you when I'm ready. - I go ahead.

-Okay, but I hope that's soon- I hadn't noticed until now that Jason is wearing Spiderman pajamas- Where am I taking you?

I start to laugh.

-What's wrong?- He asks, making a smile as I enter my mobile password and look at Scott's location.

-Oh, nothing, nothing. You are so funny in your superhero pajamas- I laugh and Jason snorts.

-Said the girl in the sheets from frozen ...

-Hey! - I hit his arm with my fist and he laughs- Take me to 32 Middleton- I mumbled after looking at the location- He starts the engine.

-To the center? -asks surprised. I know how hard it is for him not to ask questions with how curious he is.

-Yes.

Jason and I spent the whole way in silence, not an awkward one, but I think it's mostly because we are both sleepy and neither of us wants to talk.

-Thanks for bringing me- I say kissing him on the cheek before getting out of the car.

-How are you going to come back?- he says through the window. From time to time a car passes by on the almost deserted road, but there is usually a lot of traffic in the city.

-I'll manage- I wink at him and turn to start walking toward Scott's apartment. I don't want to bother Jason to pick me up again, he's done enough bringing me.

There is no one on the street and I don't know if that relieves me or worries me. I told Jason to stop the car a few streets before the apartment is located, as it is a very dangerous neighborhood and I didn't want to be forced to bring Jason with me in case something happened to me.

Once I arrive, I hear a noise in some containers and it startles me, then a small cat appears that makes me sigh in relief, it was just that, a cat.

I look at Scott's floor and door and ring the bell, but it doesn't work, so I dial his number on my phone.

-Lailah? - He asks as if God had come down from heaven to greet him- Please tell me you're there.

-Yes ... open me. -I say grabbing the rusty metal of the door that leads to the courtyard of the farm. A sound is heard from the electronic device with the numbers of the doors and I push to open it.

-Already?

-Yes, I'm up- I say before hanging up. I close the door and go inside. No elevator? I start up the stairs two at a time until I reach the second floor, where Scott awaits me with the door open.

-Oh, Lailah!- he exclaims, hugging me.

-How did you get my number? -I ask. He reaches into his cowboy pocket and pulls out a phone in response, swinging it in the air which I assume is Azael's. But why do you have my number? I huff.- Where is it?

-I've locked him in the guest room. You see, the kitchen was already broken enough and there it can only break the mattress, but since nobody uses it ... -I walk into Scott's house and he closes the door. A small room a few meters wide welcomes me, which is linked to a kitchen if you can call it that. The sofa is broken and has several burns, the ceiling is falling apart and the floor between the kitchen and the dining room is full of glass that is hollowed out on the old raised wooden parquet. The vases are on the floor, as are the chairs.

-It's lovely right? - Scott says wryly with a smile. He must have realized how he was looking at his house. A loud blow interrupts us.

-It scares me- I say to Scott swallowing hard, referring to Azael.

-Me too- he answers, raising his hands- The difference is that it won't do anything to you.

-How are you so sure?- I ask as he grabs my shoulders and drags me down the hall from him, which has one of the burned-out bulbs.

-I'm not. -He answers to open the door of the room. Then he shoves me inside and closes it quickly.- If you need to get out, call out my name! he says from the hall.

As soon as I enter, I see Azael sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me, resting his elbows on his knees and with his hands on his head, covering his face. There is an old carpet on the floor that has mold stains and the only furniture in the room are two bedside tables with several protruding chips and a worn-out wardrobe, giving the room a cold and distant touch. It gives me chills.

I walk around the bed and sit next to him, he shakes his head, as if he is somewhere else, distant from me. Seeing that he doesn't move, I put a hand on his leg and he opens his eyes scared. He has them bloodshot.

-Get out of my head- he backs up a little on the mattress as if he's afraid of me - Come out! -he shouts angrily making me shrink back on myself.

I don't know what to say to him, I don't know how to do this or what I'm supposed to do.

- Uh ... it's me, it's Lailah- I pronounce meticulously as if he were addressing a small child. He stares seriously at a fixed point on the wall, concentrating on doing nothing, or too deep in thought of him- Do you want ... water?

Seriously? Water?

-Water is for idiots, I want alcohol. he growls, and stands up- Where the hell is you, Scott !? Where have you left my bottle !? She drags out the words and staggers until he regains his balance.

-Why are you doing this, Azael? Why do you drink like this?

I don't get it. Doing these things seems cowardly to me. I understand that you may have your problems, but you must face them and not take refuge in drinking. Not well.

-What does it matter to you?- he looks me straight in the eyes and the feeling they convey to me is so intense that I am forced to look away from her. There is too much hate.

-I just want to help you. You can count on me. I say tenderly. I want it to be okay.

-Help me? - he asks sarcastically- If you want to help me, get out that door- he says, pointing at it with her index finger, even though seconds later she deviates to point to her closet- Because the only thing I needed is to see you in person as well.

I don't understand anything he says, so I keep insisting.

-Explain it to me, because I don't understand anything.

- Fuck the trial and fuck everything! This didn't have to happen!

Great. Now he says incoherent things.

-If you tell me what's wrong with you, maybe I can help you solve it and ...

-What's wrong with me !?- he asks annoyed, interrupting me- I was startled. It scares me, but I can't deny that being close to him, even though he's that drunk, makes me feel alive, and I had forgotten that feeling.- You pass me by, Lailah.- A chill takes over my body.- You- he repeats.

A silence fills the room, a silence that he breaks by punching the closet. A creak is heard and I doubt if it was his hand or his closet. Then he shakes it in the air and I confirm my theory.

-Eh ... -I say getting up and approaching him with some fear.- Are you okay? -I go to take his hand but he removes it immediately, avoiding that he touches him as if he disgusted her.

-My father doesn't give a shit about me and he only uses me for his drug affairs and illegal fucking things, which if I'm not mistaken, will end my life. him, he stammers, highlighting some letters. I keep silent, encouraging him to continue.- I didn't want to get into that shit! I did not want to! But what could I do to please the only person I've ever kept all my life? The only one! And the worst thing is that he does not care about me.- I listen carefully to his story processing all the information, but I think he does not realize that all this could be used against him in the trial, I think that right now he is not aware you're welcome and it's just relying on my confidence.

But it seems that under all those tattoos there is something else, there are feelings, fear, guilt, and regret perhaps.

-Now I'm up to my eyebrows and I can't escape anymore. So no, I'm not okay- he says with a tinkle- I can't do anything! They are going to kill me, they are going to kill me.

I don't know how to react. I didn't expect him to just tell me.

-No one's going to do anything to you, Azael.

-You don't know him. -He says looking into my eyes. He has them watery and I don't know if it is from the effects of alcohol or the extreme anger that this issue gives him. What kind of father do you have to have to say these things? It was clear that Azael was involved in dangerous and illegal topics, for something he is feared by everyone, but he did not expect that they had to do with his father.- If I do not do what he says ... If I do not ... He is going to kill me.- he repeats.

I can't help but look at him compassionately, and he seems to notice.

-I don't need your pity. him- he murmurs as if he's reading my mind- Go and tell the judge everything! What are you waiting for? Tell them and put me in jail now! him - he exclaims desperately. He is out of control and he sure does not control anything that comes out of his mouth .- There is enough evidence right ?! At least there he won't be able to do anything to me ...

-Do not. I'm not going to tell anyone anything. - I honestly say.

If I win a trial, I have to do it cleanly and not by extracting information like a sewer rat, taking advantage of the fact that he is drunk. Or drugged, who knows. That would not be nice.

-Why not? - He asks me, narrowing his eyes- Why the hell do you have to be so good to me?

- I don't know ...- I say almost in a whisper. I don't think I can answer that, and he knows it.

-I've killed people. I've done very bad things, things ...- he lets out a sigh.- I've been forced to do them, you know? I don't deserve you to be good to me. Hate me - I gulp and sigh. This is difficult to carry. Has he killed someone or is he just talking nonsense? I mean, I know that the Alison thing was somehow not planned, but if we talk about intentionally murdering someone they are very different things.- I want you to fucking hate me! - he yells, and I cringe.

I feel the tension in the room. He is waiting for you to answer, to say something.

-I can't, I try, but I can't- I say shaking my head, still looking into his eyes- Without stopping to think what it would be like ... And that eats me up inside.

I take a step forward, closing the space between us.

-Why not?- he asks more calmly.

A game of gazes is established between our eyes, an exchange of dilated pupils so deep that nothing more needs to be said.

Without thinking I lean over and stand on tiptoe, and do what I was so afraid of doing, the forbidden thing, what I didn't want to happen but I knew that it would happen after all. It was a matter of time...

I kiss him.

And it is not a passionate kiss, nor with a tongue, nor a kiss that can say a lot. It's just a kiss on the corner of the lip, almost on the cheek.

But I know that from now on, nothing will ever be the same.