C14 CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Ethan rolled off Madison, sweating, breathing deeply, and hating himself for what he was doing. He knew that despite his steadfast proclamations that he was not going to have a relationship with Madison, she did not believe him. In fact, he strongly suspected that she fancied herself to be in love with him. He glanced cursorily at the clock. It was a few minutes past seven in the evening and she had been here for two hours plus, arriving about ten minutes after he got back from work. Madison made some murmuring noises and moved closer to snuggle close to him, but he got off the bed immediately and headed for the shower, hoping that by the time he came out, she would have worn her clothes and left, or be in the process of leaving. However, no sooner had he started showering, than the shower curtain opened and in sashayed a naked Madison. She smiled sultrily at him and trailed one long, slim finger over her small, perky breasts.

"See something you like?" She purred.

"Not particularly." Ethan wanted to reply, but of course, he did not. Without waiting for him to reply, Madison began showering with him. He made quick work of taking his bath and went to wait for her in his bedroom, a serious expression on his face.

"Madison." He began as soon as she came out. She was still naked and seemed to be in no hurry to put on her clothes. Instead, she was moving up and down the room like someone who did not know what she was looking for, probably trying to turn him on.

"Yes, baby." She replied, batting her lashes at him.

Ethan sighed inwardly, took a deep breath, and released it. "This has got to stop."

"What has got to stop?"

"I already told you before. I'm not interested in a relationship right now. I'll end up breaking your heart."

Madison laughed a little as though he was being absolutely ridiculous. "Who said I want a relationship. Let's just go with the flow."

"So what was that voice message in which you were telling me you loved me all about?"

She feigned a surprised expression that Ethan easily saw through. "I sent you a voice message telling you I loved you? Oh, oh. I remember now. Don't mind me. I was drunk off my ass that day and had had a bad day. Hmmm, now I understand. That's why you've been acting weird. You think I've fallen in love with you. I assure you that is not the case at all. It takes a lot for me to fall in love with anyone, more so someone whom I've not known for long."

"I don't think that we should see each other again," Ethan said carefully.

"Look, I already told you that I understand that you don't want a relationship. I don't want one too. I enjoy fucking you a lot and I'd like to think that you enjoy it too. Let's just continue being fuck buddies. Don't worry. I don't like you enough to want a relationship from you." She said.

Ethan doubted this very much, but he did not say anything else. At least, he had tried to warn her. He wasn't in the least bit interested in a relationship, at least not with her and not right now. The night that they had first had a one-night stand, he had thought that that was exactly what it would be, a one-night stand. However, she kept showing up at his house uninvited and seducing him. He realized that he had made a mistake inviting her over to his house that first time, but in his defense, he had not known that it would be this way. After all, she had vehemently reiterated the fact that she did not want a relationship too. This was the eighth time she was coming over to have sex with him, and he was beginning to feel stifled, not to talk of uninterested.

Surprisingly, he did not feel as guilty about having sex as he thought he would, and this was a great relief. He remembered the months after Mildred's death when terrible guilt would consume him if he so much as kissed another woman. Once, he had cried while kissing a woman whom his youngest sister had set him up with, in a bid to get him to forget about Mildred. He soon decided not to keep embarrassing himself by trying to have anything to do with women until he had healed.

He realized that the fact that he had been able to go all the way with Madison and not feel consumed with guilt, even though the lingering sadness was still there, meant that he was already healing very fast. It was about time, too. He could not remain like this forever. Everyone told him that it wasn't healthy and he himself knew that. But he was not the type to date someone seriously without feeling anything for them, and the truth was that he did not feel anything for Madison. Even the sex wasn't as great as it had been that first time, and now he was just going through the motions to please her. He just hoped that Madison took the hint and left him alone, otherwise, he was not sure what he would do.