C1 From the beginning.

Kate.

She gazed at me while I lay there, her smile as radiant as the morning sun. Her presence stirred a mixture of feelings within me, despite knowing she was nothing more than a ghost.

"Kate," she called my name.

Katatonia Fierce is my full name, a strange yet memorable name that hadn't crossed my ears often back then. As a twenty-three-year-old orphan who had been fending for herself her whole life, I had witnessed the various hardships life had thrown my way.

I don't know who my parents are neither have I ever thought of looking for them. They could be dead or alive, somewhere out there. Maybe someday I will find them or they will find me.

My name was derived from an alcoholic beverage bottle found alongside me in that dumpster,I have no idea who saved me but I'm forever grateful.

I was then taken to an orphanage overseen by a strict church, an adoption to which I never consented and to which I raised rebellion.

Seventeen years of my life were spent in that institution, a place I termed an asylum due to its excessive regulations.

The uniform we wore was as unattractive as the strict schedule we adhered to. It was a blue checked dress with a white shirt and black shoes.

Rules… rules… and more rules made me sick to my stomach. Nothing was ever good before those nun’s eyes.

The days began at four in the morning, marked by repetitive routines that allowed minimal freedom.

Prayer was a constant in our days, with The Holy Mary prayer recited seven times a day. We would have the worst food that was not a lot but so little on our plates.

If it were not for my bedmate’s rich boyfriends sneaking in good food, I would have died of starvation in that orphanage.

Yea… yea! I should be thankful they took me in and what not but life in there was way worse than the streets. It was like a military camp.

Despite the strict environment, I acknowledged the orphanage's efforts to teach me proper manners and etiquette, even though their sex views were backward. Watching explicit material only fueled my curiosity.

I found solace in a friend called Maddie, a fellow orphan who had also faced her share of struggles. She was my best friend and my bedmate.

Unlike me Maddie’s family was alive but a bunch of crackheads. Born in Chicago West, her parents were doing hard drugs.

I find it interesting that she was born healthy without any drug related health problems, a miracle if so to say.

I don’t know how long she lived with her parents or when she last saw them…heck! I don’t think she even remembers what they look like. She was came to the orphanage four years after me.

Our bond grew strong as time went by, a rare connection in the restrictive walls of the institution we resided in. We both shared a deep hatred for that place.

I was fascinated by Maddie's carefree spirit. She frequently found herself summoned to Mother Superior's office for bad behavior ranging from being rude, sneaking out, coming to the dorms drunk, and smoking pot. She broke nearly 90% of the rules and didn't give two shits about it.

The nuns were tired of her behavior and blamed it on the devil. An exorcism was conducted. Maddie played along, tied to the bed and faking convulsions while they doused her with holy water and chanted, “The power compels you!”

“You whores have no class!” she hissed.

Suppressing my laughter, that unforgettable scene still plays vividly in my mind.

Maddie was someone we all wanted to be. The beautiful, carefree, high-spirited kind of girl.

While men fawned over her, I often felt like her goofy, less attractive sidekick. She was the badass bitch who spoke her mind, something I wish I had back then, Maddie feared no one.

However, one night, Maddie fell seriously ill, repeatedly vomiting. Concerned, I suspected either food poisoning or potentially pregnancy.

To confirm, I discreetly sent the mailman to purchase a pregnancy test, bribing him with twenty bucks to keep quiet about the errand.

As I suspected, the test came back positive. Maddie and her endless list of boyfriends left me puzzled as to which one knocked her.

Pregnancy in the orphanage was viewed as an abomination, leading to immediate expulsion without consideration.

They showed no compassion; you and your "sin" were expected to fend for yourselves on the streets.

That is if you choose to keep it they don't care about the circumstances that led to your pregnancy.

"Who's the father?" I asked Maddie.

"It's Josh's," she replied. I was taken aback. Josh was her reckless "relationship goals" boyfriend. They say nothing good ever comes from a guy named Josh.

Maddie seemed willing to risk it all for that jailbird. It baffled me how such a stunning girl ended up with a tax-evading, law-breaking guy like Josh, of all people.

Josh was a drug dealer, catering to the addicts, he was their self-proclaimed motivational speaker, the "cokeSpeare" of their world. He had been incarcerated multiple times for illegal firearms possession.

It was a pity that he spent more time behind bars than as a free man, proudly flaunting his criminal record. Maddie, on the other hand, had her vices, being a fan of Molly and playing house with this troubled man.

I feared her substance use might harm her pregnancy, but she assured me she'd been clean for two months.

Despite being older than her. Maddie overlooked this detail, worshiping Josh as if he were her god.

As the months passed, Maddie concealed her pregnancy until her growing bump made it impossible to hide.

When the time came, we were both kicked out like two little 'satans.' Maddie was offered the option to terminate the pregnancy, but it was too late.

"Madeline Opium, you are no longer part of this community due to your sinful act of fornication," Mother Superior announced.

I should mention that her parents had named her after cocaine. Such wonderful parents; where was Child Services to give them their due recognition?

"Whatever, bitch!" Maddie scoffed.

"Please, Mother, she's only pregnant. Having a child isn't a crime. Where will she go? This isn't the Victorian era," I pleaded.

"The board has made its decision, as have I," she retorted. Damn the board! They had no ounce of pity.

"Fine! Let the darn board know I'm leaving too!" I muttered angrily.

Maddie wasn't just my friend; she was my sister. My concern was where a seventeen-year-old( she would be turning 18 in two days) pregnant girl would go alone.

It was late at night, and the neighborhood wasn't safe for young girls like us. A recent stabbing incident had heightened our fears.

We left at seven in the evening, attracting disapproving looks from the nuns, sisters, and Mother Superior.

"You didn't have to, Kate," Maddie insisted.

"I care about you," I explained.

"Thank you, Ri," she replied. She always loved calling me Ri after an amine character that she was so obsessed with who had similar eyes to mine.

We headed to Josh's apartment. Though spacious, it was unsettling, permeated by the smell of drugs and alcohol, resembling a den more than a home.

I kept a vigilant eye on Maddie to ensure she avoided drugs during her pregnancy. Josh doted on her, showering her with gifts—clothes, jewelry, makeup, and handbags—which I doubted were acquired through legitimate means. He also took charge of baby shopping.

I wished I could find someone who would love me like that. Maddie often shared the gifts he gave her with me back at the orphanage. Their perfect little love began to wear off, making me feel grateful that I was single.

Maddie and Josh seemed like a modern-day Joker and Harley Quinn. She was drawn to his reckless disregard for life, but I often worried about their toxic relationship. Josh became increasingly distant and volatile, and their arguments grew more intense.

I'll never forget the chilling moment when he grabbed her by the throat, confessing, "Sometimes I fantasize about killing you, but because you're pregnant, I can't." Maddie dismissed it as a joke inspired by a BDSM movie, but I knew better. I kept a close watch on her, vigilant and concerned.

I managed to land a job at a local restaurant, bringing in some income. Meanwhile, tensions escalated between Maddie and Josh. He was controlling and abusive, both verbally and physically. My primary concern was Maddie's safety.

Maddie gave birth to a beautiful girl named Jesse Ayra, I was overjoyed for her. Witnessing the birth was both terrifying and awe-inspiring, marveling at the female body's incredible ability to bring another life into the world. If I ever had a child, I vowed it would be with a responsible man.

However, just two weeks after giving birth, Maddie relapsed into drug use. She neglected her daughter, leaving me to care for Jesse.

I fed her formula instead of breast milk and had no choice but to bring her to work with me, juggling my responsibilities as best as I could while worrying about Maddie's downward spiral.

I had a nagging feeling about leaving Jesse with her mother, so I quit my job at the restaurant and took a position at a five-star hotel. The higher pay and flexible hours would allow me to care for Jesse more effectively.

One fateful day, I returned home from work with six-month-old Jesse to find the door ajar. Nothing seemed amiss, but Maddie was nowhere to be found. I called out to her, hoping it wasn't another one of her pranks. Silence greeted me.

In retrospect, I wish it had been one of her pranks. I'd give anything to trade that moment for what awaited me.

I placed Jesse in her cradle and searched every room, a sinking feeling growing in my stomach. The house was eerily quiet.

When I opened the bedroom door, I was met with a horrifying sight: Maddie and Josh lay lifeless in bed, covered in blood, foam coming from Maddie's mouth, their eyes wide open. I fled the room, grabbing Jesse and the baby bag, tears streaming down my face.

Outside, a police patrol car was parked nearby. I ran toward it, disbelief gripping me as I hoped all this was just a dream. An officer emerged to meet me.

"She's... Help me... He's... In... Bed… Blood and Bodies…Oh my god! No!" I stammered, struggling to articulate the horror I'd just witnessed.

"Madam, I can't understand what you're saying. Please stay calm. Could you explain to us what is going on?" He urged.

Stay calm? My best friend and her boyfriend are dead!

"Just follow me," I managed to say, leading the officers to the apartment and pointing to the bedroom.

"We have a situation," one officer radioed in. I held Jesse close, her innocent eyes unaware of the tragedy unfolding around her. Why Maddie?