C2 Chapter 1

Suriel – angel of healing, whose name means “God’s command.”

“Come on, wake up, sleepyhead!” I heard my aunt’s voice as she snatched the headphones away from my head.

I struggled to open my eyes. I looked at my wristwatch. It was one in the afternoon. I slept in again and I knew Meredith hated that. But sometimes, I couldn’t help it. It was hard for me to sleep at nights. In the dark, the nightmares got worse. I couldn’t sleep with the lights out now. But even with the lights on, I still found myself waking up in the middle of the night, screaming as the memories of the pain I had experienced during that night come back to me, making me retreat, and curl up in fear and misery.

Meredith stared at the dark circles under my eyes and smiled apologetically. “I told you… some counseling can help you, sweetheart. Really. I can afford a few sessions.”

I shook my head. Meredith is my mother’s younger sister. She just graduated from college when she got the call that changed her life forever. She found out that instead of looking for a job and exploring the world like she originally planned, she had to move to a strange town to take care of me.

I felt guilty for what happened to her, too. She was just a kid out of school, and now she had to grow up faster than she first intended to so she could make ends meet and take care of a troubled teenager like me.

“That’s not necessary, Meredith,” I said. She didn’t want to be called aunt. She said it would make her feel old. “We’re already struggling to get by each day. I don’t want you to waste your hard-earned money to pay somebody who will only eat donuts and drink coffee while I lie on the couch and talk about things I would rather forget.”

She came to sit beside me. “At least… that person can prescribe pills that can help you… fall asleep.”

“I already have something for that,” I said, with a wide smile on my face. “Your manuscripts!”

She glared at me. “How dare you go through my things?” She hit me with a pillow.

“I’m kidding!” I said, laughing.

Meredith was an aspiring writer. One day, when I had nothing to do in the house, I went to her room and decided to be useful for once and cleaned up. I found some of her manuscripts and read them. She was actually pretty good but I thought none of the stuff she wrote was PG-15.

“I’m going out,” she said. “I have to be in CRC in an hour’s time.”

“Alright. I’ll just be here,” I said to her. As always, I added in my head.

She looked at me apologetically. She stared at my face for a while.

Two guesses which part of my face she was staring at.

It was my scar. The one on the right side of my face, between my cheekbone and my ear, and ran down all the way to my jaw. I immediately felt self-conscious. The skin was damaged and the scar was horrendous. I was told that I was lucky my stepdad only let the chemical trickle on the side of my cheek, and it didn’t go further on the other parts of my face. I was luckier it didn’t hit my eye.

Even before that tragic night, we didn’t really live a charmed life, so there was no way I could afford plastic surgery.

I combed my hair to the side to hide the scar from Meredith’s view. That way, nobody would know how damaged I really was.

Meredith sighed and asked, “Why don’t you come with me?”

I stared back at her. “Why?”

She shrugged. “The kids at the center could use a little encouragement.”

I smirked. “From me? Seriously? Have you met me lately?”

“I don’t know how you do this, Alice. I would have been…” She trailed off then she said, “You always look and sound positive, nobody will be able to guess what happened to you that night.”

“By that you mean, I still look charming, nobody will really be able to guess that I was Scarface in real life?”

“No, silly!” she replied. “Not that. I meant… you still laugh a lot, joke a lot. Nobody would guess what really happened to you. I would have been… devastated. Some kids from the center would be able to learn a lot from you.”

“Really?” I was quite uncertain about what she was saying.

She nodded. “Some of them didn’t even go through half the stuff you’ve been through and yet, they lost the will to live.”

“I don’t know, Mer. This may very well backfire.”

She shrugged. “Well, in any case, you could use a change of scenery. The institution has beautiful landscaped grounds, a library, a game room and best of all… a music room.”

I stared up at her. “Music room, huh?”

Meredith looked like she really wanted me to come. Not just because she thought I would be able to help the other people there. But because she thought it would help me to see those who stayed in the center… the ones who were as broken as I was.

I stood up from my bed. “I’ll just shower,” I said.

She beamed at me. “You will like it there, Al.”

Forty minutes later, Meredith was parking her beaten-up Volkswagen in one of the open parking spaces in CRC.

CRC actually stands for Campbell Rehabilitation Center. It was a huge estate in our town, with a big, white façade and a number of different gardens and smaller structures around it. CRC is a place for the less-than-perfect residents of our town. Some stay there for a couple of weeks for little problems such as broken bones that require physical rehabilitation. And yet, some stay for months, maybe even years because they require more intensive rehab… such as those who are terminal, or have head trauma that caused amnesia, or victims of violence… like me.

I did not expect CRC to look like a big park or playground. There were a lot of people in the front garden, chatting and playing. It looked more like a campus than a rehab center.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Meredith asked as we walked towards the lobby.

“The board that manages this wanted the people who come here to feel normal. They wanted this to be a refuge for all those who needed help. The environment is relaxed. There’s an open-door policy for most visitors. There are a lot of recreational activities, and treatments are coupled with sports and play.”

“And you brought me here because you thought I needed to be around these people? So I won’t feel bad about myself?” I asked her bluntly.

Meredith thought carefully before she answered, “No one should have to go through what you went through and be… okay.” She didn’t disguise the weary in her tone.

“I knew it!” I whispered under my breath. I shook my head. “I’m not going to be a burden to you or anybody, Meredith. I know I’m only sixteen. That dreadful day was more than a year ago. Can’t you just trust me when I say that… I’m okay? I don’t need a damn shrink!” I was trying to keep my emotions under control. “I’m fine!”

“I’m sorry.” Tears were starting to well up in her eyes.

“Oh geez, Mer. Don’t cry!” I said, squeezing my temples with my fingers. I haven’t cried in a long time. After that night, I haven’t cried at all. I don’t like seeing people sad, especially not because of me. I meant what I said to her. Life goes on. We just need to keep moving forward. That’s what I keep telling myself each night—in spite of the nightmares. I need to keep moving forward.

Meredith wiped the tears on her cheeks with her fingers. “I’m sorry, Alice. I just… want to do more for you.”

I smiled at her ruefully. “And you are. You don’t have to worry so much.”

She took a deep breath. “I hear you at nights, Alice. You scream in your sleep,” she said in a broken voice. “You do it almost every night. I’m getting worried.”

I sighed. She wasn’t supposed to know that. I never told her that it was hard for me to sleep at nights and when I do manage to drift off, the nightmares never fail to chase me.

“You need to talk to somebody about this, Alice.”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah. But not a shrink,” I said. “I’m not screwed up in the head, Mer.”

“Not all people who see a shrink are screwed up.”

“Well, because most of the time, those who go to one are rich. And if you’re rich, you aren’t called crazy; you’re called… eccentric.”

Meredith sighed. “You could talk to me, you know.”

“I do talk to you,” I argued. “Just not about…” I trailed off, not wanting to continue… well, not really wanting to remember. Some memories are better left forgotten.

“School is starting in a couple of months,” she said. “They extended your scholarship.”

“Yeah. I’ll bet Leighton High wouldn’t miss the opportunity to use that for publicity. You know… for their social responsibility initiatives. I’m a walking charity case,” I murmured.

Meredith shook her head. “No. They didn’t do that for charity. They extended your scholarship because they know you’re brilliant.” She smiled at me encouragingly. “And maybe it’s time for you to be around kids your age. You should be out having fun with friends.”

“I don’t really have friends.” That was true. We moved to this city a few months before my stepfather went… cuckoo. I got a scholarship at Leighton High, the town’s most prestigious institution, where the most privileged kids in town study.

My stepdad was earning a decent living then. But he lost some money to gambling. Then he went into drug abuse. And everything was history… yeah, like literally history. We were featured on the town paper for weeks!

My brighter days weren’t enough time and opportunity to make friends. I had a few acquaintances but they all either moved to another city or they just didn’t feel like being friends with the scar-faced girl, who had a drug addict for a stepdad and a… murderer for a mom.

“Then hang around here once in a while,” she said. “There are kids here the same age as you. And like you… they’re looking for friends too. You didn’t want to speak to a shrink. Okay. Maybe you should make friends. Speak to them. It will help, I’m sure.”

I nodded. I didn’t really believe her. But I just didn’t want to make her feel worse than she already did. Meredith was trying hard enough for both of us. The least that I could do was make her feel that I was cooperating with her when she was struggling to keep it together.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Now, do you really want me to hang around with you? Or can I just… take a stroll around this place?”

She nodded. “Go ahead. I’ll meet you here after three hours.”

“Cool,” I murmured and then I turned around to walk away.

I didn’t really know where I was going. But I figured, I hadn’t been out of the house much in the last couple of months, I should just explore freely. I was in solitude, just staying in, doing school stuff. The teachers were kind enough to allow me to do my schoolwork without necessarily being in the school. Meredith picked up my modules and I studied at home. When I was required to take a test in the classroom, I showed up for a couple of hours… aced my exams and then I went back home.

I strolled in one of the gardens. The shrubs were well-trimmed and the flowers were in full bloom. As I inhaled the fresh air, I thought to myself… maybe I could take my ‘solitude’ outdoors this time around.

I strolled further into the back of the huge estate. I found a path that led to an orchard hidden behind the building. I didn’t know where it would take me, but I didn’t really care. For the first time, I was enjoying the rays of the sun against my skin and the refreshing breath of nature. I could hear the birds chirping somewhere from a distance. The orchard was surrounded by very tall trees and the path was covered by dried leaves and flowers.

I looked at the sky. It was light blue… clear and serene. And I felt a sense of peace within me. Here… it felt safe. Like nothing could touch me… or hurt me. Not even my nightmares.

I continued walking, admiring the scenery around me. Then all of a sudden, I collided into something solid. I shrieked. I was afraid that the impact was going to cause me to fall flat on my butt. But for some reason, I felt something envelop me, keeping me warm, and preventing my fall.

I stared up at what I collided into, which was still holding me close.

I found myself staring at a pair of sunglasses. It took me a moment to realize that it was a boy. His skin was light and flawless. His jaw was strong and his nose was perfect. Only when he raised a brow and gave me a look of annoyance that I realized I had been staring.

“Geez,” he said. “The last time I checked, I was the one who’s blind.” I heard the trace of anger and frustration in his smooth voice.

He settled me on my feet and I pulled away from him.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t… looking.”

“Neither was I,” he muttered. “But unlike you… I didn’t really have a choice.”

“What…” I started asking. Then I remembered him saying something about being blind. “Oh. You’re… blind?” I asked.

He raised a brow again. “And you’re deaf?”

Okay. He’s arrogant too!

But as he went down on his knees to feel the ground for the walking stick that he dropped when he collided into me, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. I immediately bent down and reached for the stick to help him.

“Don’t!” he said in a sharp voice.

I stopped and stared at him. He looked like he was staring back at me under those sleek sports sunglasses of his. But I know he couldn’t really see me.

“I was just… trying… to help,” I stammered.

“I don’t need your help,” he said in the cockiest tone I had ever heard in months.

He was the first person to ever snap at me in almost a year. After that tragic night, everybody spoke to me gently, sympathetically, I could almost always hear the pity tears in their voices.

I had this sudden urge to cripple this guy, but then I stopped myself. Losing your sight is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone.

He touched the ground again and finally he felt the stick in his hand. He stood up and started walking slowly. He walked past me, dismissing me.