C20 Luo Yanyan's Pain

Jian Yun stared helplessly as she stared at his profile picture. At this point, she couldn't even pretend that she hadn't seen the friend request yet. It's not as if she could reject him either, given that he had just called. After hesitating for a bit, she heaved a sigh and accepted Liancheng's friend request.

She had initially thought that he'd try and talk to her, but even after she had gotten off the bus, he still hadn't sent her a message. It was better off this way. Besides, it wasn't as if she had anything to talk about with him.

The moment she returned home, she headed straight to her bedroom and took off her clothes. Once her head hit the pillow, Jian Yun ultimately blacked out for the next few hours. If it hadn't for the sound of a phone ringing, she would've slept through the night.

At first, Jian Yun had assumed that it was her phone that had been ringing this entire time. As she glanced at the black screen, she heard Luo Yanyan's voice echoing across the apartment. She figured out it was hers and buried herself under the covers once more.

However, her friend's voice had grown louder and louder, and Jian Yun's drowsiness had soon drifted away. She scrambled up from her bed and put on her clothes. Oh well, it was probably for the best. Besides, she hadn't eaten since breakfast. Glancing at the dark skies, she slowly stood up.

Suddenly, just as she was about to reach for the door handle, she heard Luo Yanyan's sobs and paused. Maybe this wasn't the right time to interrupt them.

"Mom, are you trying to work me to death?" She sounded very agitated. "I already said that I don't have any money! I've given you a month's worth of salary, so what else do you want?"

Luo Yanyan had turned on the loudspeaker mode, so Jian Yun could also hear Mrs. Luo's harsh words. "I didn't raise you to be so heartless!" she spat. "Do you know how much we've spent on you? Hundreds of thousands of yuan just to send you to your graduate studies? Have you forgotten that? Are you turning your back on your family?"

"Haven't I already paid you back?" At this point, her friend was already screaming her heart out. "All the excess money I have earned, I gave to you. And when I've already gotten a job, you took all my salary away. What else do you want?"

"So you're saying you've earned only three thousand yan a month? What's the point of earning your graduate studies if your salary's worth nothing?"

"Just three thousand? Just three thousand! Mom, that's my entire salary!" Her voice trembled, and Jian Yun could hear a crash coming from the living room as her friend collapsed onto the cold tiles. "I've worked so hard, and I can't even use the money that I've earned. Don't you see how wrong this is?"

"Oh please, you think I'm accepting any of your bullshit?" Mrs. Luo snorted. "You think I don't know of your freelancing business? Your salary's way more than this!"

Having enough, Luo Yanyan screamed and slammed her phone onto the counter.

Not being able to stand it any longer, Jian Yun stepped out of the room. Luo Yanyan might be embarrassed, but she knew for a fact that her friend needed someone to be there for her.

Besides, they had already known each other for around nine years. From being college classmates to roommates, they had been there for most of their embarrassing moments as well as their heartbreaking ones.

"Yanyan." She slowly pulled her friend up from the tiles and hugged her.

"Yun, you–why aren't you at work?" Her eyes widened momentarily at the sight, but she didn't push her away. Instead, Luo Yanyan rested on her shoulder, shaking from the fight she just had. This was the first time the mother-and-daughter duo had ever raised their voices at each other, and the impact had been hard on both of them.

Jian Yun grabbed a few tissue papers from the box before handing it to her. "I felt unwell, so I went home for the day," she briefly explained, leaving out the events that had truly transpired in the office.

"You probably heard everything, huh?" Luo Yanyan choked out, wiping the tears rolling down her cheeks.

After a moment's hesitation, she sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I know that it isn't my place, but...you shouldn't spoil them too much. They're your parents, but they still shouldn't be such a burden to you."

"I know!" Nodding furiously, she bent over to cover her face. "But it's not like I can do anything! They're my parents, and if I just ignore them, I'd....I'd..."

"Money doesn't fall from the sky. Even if they're in debt, they can't always rely on you. Besides, they don't ask for money because they need it, it's because they want it! Have you seen the house they bought for your little brother?" She sighed. "It's time that you live your own life, spread your wings a little. Do they think they can still take your money like this once you're married?"

"I want to refuse them, but every time I try to..." she stuttered as the tears continually fell down her cheeks. Luo Yanyan crumbled into her arms as she sobbed. "My father had just been framed, and my mom–her health is declining, and my brother, he doesn't have a stable job! If I don't take care of their expenses, who knows what they'd do? Who knows what I'd do?"

"Yanyan, if you keep this up, they'd never stop." Jian Yun knew that Mr. and Mrs. Luo had been strict with her ever since she was young. For them, Luo Yanyan was like an exquisite flower that they were so desperate in keeping, and it was no secret that she was as kind as an angel. Despite knowing of her parent's endless desires, she still couldn't refuse them.

Even then, Jian Yun couldn't really judge her as she knew what it was like to be in her shoes. After all, it had been six years since the incident, and her own mother had been living in constant pain every day. Despite knowing how upset it made her feel, she couldn't totally abandon her. There was just so much that a child could do.

Perhaps, this was what they meant by the phrase, "Blood is thicker than water."

Wanting to cheer her up, Jian Yun invited her out to dinner. Although Luo Yanyan had finally calmed down, she remained silent this entire time. Even then, it still didn't matter. After all, their presence was enough to sustain both their troubles.

It was already eight o'clock when they had finally gotten back home. Luo Yanyan leaned against her arms and murmured, "Can I pay you back next month? I'll have to fix up another payroll draft, and I..."

"It's fine. We can talk about this some other time." Jian Yun waved her hand dismissively. Although she wasn't rich, she knew that her friend needed the cash more than she did. Plus, she had already saved enough for herself.

Luo Yanyan poured two cups of hot water. Passing one to her, she slowly sat down. "Right, how's your mother? Have you already raised enough for the operation?"

"The operation's done. She's still recovering, but as of now, there's still no progress." Jian Yun sighed, rubbing the creases on her forehead. Just the thought of her mother sent a pang through her heart. "I thought about taking her to the capital for a while, but we're still waiting for a doctor to give the go signal."

There was silence between them when her friend hesitated. "Yun...there's actually something I want to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Xu Haiyang called me the other day to ask about your situation."

Jian Yun was placing her cup onto the table when she heard the news. Immediately, her hands started to tremble. She had almost lost grip of the cup if she hadn't steadied herself. Her eyes had grown cold as if the mere thought of the man had brought forth all the bitterness in her heart.

"What about my situation?"

"If you're single...but don't worry, I didn't say anything!" Luo Yanyan added quickly.

Jian Yun remained impassive.

"I...I actually wanted to ask you about this." There was a short pause before Luo Yanyan continued, "If Xu Haiyang still loves you and chases after you, would you ever find it in yourself to forgive him?"

"Love? Find it in me?" Jian Yun stared mockingly at her. "I've already had the first glimpse of his love, and let me tell you this, it's as worthless as a bag of garbage! Time may have passed, but he still couldn't take back what he had said that day–what he had done to me..."

After answering her, she excused herself and headed back into her bedroom. There, Jian Yun stared at the ceiling as the moonlight reflected her pale complexion. Her mind had gone blank as she tried to register everything that had happened. Cheng Muze had just asked her if she'd accept Liancheng if ever he would court her, and now Luo Yanyan's asking her if she would ever forgive Xu Haiyang if ever he still loved her.

Why were there so many 'what ifs' in this world?